Thursday, 03 November 2011
I have been married for 3 yrs now and just recently became a mother. I have been at home since I have been married. I moved from California to New Mexico and since I have been married and at home I have noticed that people have some serious views on women who stay home.
#1. If you stay home you are lazy, unkempt, sitting on the sofa eating nob nobs like Peg Buddy. Or that it would be extremely boring.
Now I cant speak for other women but I know in my experience that lazy... just doesn’t work. Even before I had my child I was busy. There is always laundry, there's always dishes to be washed ( we do not have a dish washer) the house always needs cleaning because no matter what you do things will get out of place and living in NM, it is dusty as ever so cleaning is a must. And now with a baby on top of that... diapers, laundry, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, feed the baby, feed the husband- all that... when the heck do I have time to be bored?
#2 You don’t have an equal marriage because you don’t have income coming in.
Again, personally, no. We have a equal relationship. I am not the maid, I am not a lesser being because I work in the home instead of a 9-5. My husband appreciates the fact that he gets to come home to a clean house and a hot homemade meal everyday and he shows his appreciation and he does not belittle me or take me for granted. I honestly think that its about who you marry and the circumstances in which you’re staying at home. A lot of people who didn’t know me when I first moved here didn’t think that I had ever worked be fore and they looked down on me for staying home sort of like I was taking advantage of my husband or I was some type of gold digger or something. When in all actuality, Before I moved I had closed my business that I’d had for 6 years. I started my business at the age of 19 and worked hard as hell. When we got married we both deiced that if we were going to have kids I would stay home as long as possible. It was a choice for me. I know some people don’t have that choice and I thank God often that I do.
#3 Women that stay at home are sloppy.
I have seen my share of women walking around in Walmart with their hair uncombed, flip flops on, wearing pajamas and their babies look just as bad... I however, am not one of them. I know a lot of Homemakers that get up get dressed and look damn good when their husbands get home. I try to look presentable because you never know when you have to run out to the store, a Dr. appointment – unexpected things happen and don’t like having to try to throw something on. I don’t have on a evening gown with my face beat to powdered perfection daily but I can run to the store for milk and not feel embarrassed if I see someone I know.
#4 Women that stay home make it harder for the family because they are on one income.
In some cases that may be true. I work very hard to keep things smooth and easy. I budget hardcore and I make sure we live within our means and are steal able to have small luxuries. I cook a lot of things from scratch such as bread ( why buy a loaf of bread for a dollar when you can make 10 loaves for $3 with a few cups of flour, yeast, eggs and water), pizza, pies cakes etc I rarely buy packaged foods like fries- I have potatoes, pasta- I have flour, pizzas, sauces, mixes- all that stuff get left on the shelf. If I can make it from scratch I probably will. I don’t buy a bunch of cleaning products, bleach works fine. I think its if you make things work... you can work it. You just have to be about it.
There are a lot of other things that I hear and some of them seem true and some aren’t I think we assume a lot from what we see. What do u think? Do you have any views or ideas of stay at home moms/homemakers? Do you have any questions? Comment and let me know.