Saturday, 03 September 2011
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Recovering From Surgery With Children
I am currently recovering from a surgery. When I gave birth to My Flower Child, I somehow managed to screw up all my inner workings, and gave myself some big ol' gallstones. I have just had the blasted thing out, after a 4 week battle with my insurance company and the surgeon. It finally got all scheduled and set up, and at last, on Monday it was taken out.
There were some pre-op concerns mostly to do with my kidneys and my liver, both of which were damaged by my pregnancy, and apparently there were some problems during my surgery as well. They didn't really tell me what happened but what I know is that I went to sleep expecting one incision for the scope and one for the removal and woke up with five.About a week before the surgery, my doctor recommended that I had off the baby to a sitter, or her father, because I really shouldn't be lifting anything over ten lbs. My Flower Child is growing up so fast, she almost weighs 13 lbs now!! I reluctantly handed her off to her father the day before my birthday, (the 17th) but by this past weekend I was losing my mind from not seeing her. I called her father, and braved the disapproval from my medicine man. I had her all weekend, and I enjoyed every minute of it. When Monday rolled around though, I had to yet again relinquish my child to her father. I am on bed rest currently, and have been told that due to possible infection, and the possibility of reopening my incisions that I am not to handle my child for a minimum of 2 weeks, and possibly as long as 4 weeks.ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!??!?!I can't imagine not seeing her, or handling her, or holding her, feeding her, cuddling her for more than a week. When she was gone for 4 days I missed her so bad, I was starting to become visibly depressed. Miss Lady kept trying to keep me cheerful, but it's so hard to do when the light of my life is somewhere else. It's been four days now since I have seen her and I feel like a junkie. I feel like I am going through withdraw. I miss my beautiful girl so much. How can I heal effectively if I am in such a state of mental turmoil from being separated from My Flower Child?And so you don't get the wrong idea, I am NOT an attachment parent. I know how to put my child down, and I do. When things need to get done, she goes in the bouncy chair, with some blues clues or something. But not needing to hold her 24/7 and not getting to see her at all are two very different things.Should I wait the recommended amount of time before I take her back? Or should I say screw it and take her back as soon as I am mobile again?
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About the Author
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- From: Ashtraygirl84@xanga
- Name: Ashtraygirl84
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- About Me: I am a simple girl with a complicated thought process.
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Comments (6)
I don't know what to tell you to do, because in that situation I don't know what I would do because I'd miss my child too much. But at the same time you need to be healthy to care for your child so you'd want to wait the time. I don't know but I'm sorry for what your going through.
If you continue to ignore your doctor's advice, you are in a lose lose situation, threatening your possible future with your child, long term. I am assuming from your post that you don't live with the baby's father? This kind of non-compliance is used in custody hearings, and I'd be very careful were I you. You must heal, physically, and stop interrupting the healing process. If the father is amenable to routine visits, then take them. If the care giver can come over more often then that's great. If not, do what you must and think about long term consequences for your child if you do not heed your doctor's advice. It sounds like your child's father could use this in court, should he want to someday.
Does the hospital have a Patents' Advocate? If not, try to find someone who can mediate the situation. Recovery from surgery ought to be as stress-free as possible and trying to deal with the continual anguish isn't going to help at all.
My heart goes out to you!
I understand the limitations secondary to surgery and the need to heal; but if your heart & soul are crying out for your child, what about her's?!! For the sake of everyone's emotional health, it would be best if a way were found for you & her to spend time together daily, with someone there to assist in the physical lifting and general child-care which your medical condition temporarily precludes.
mw, RN
I get your qualms, but do you want to rip those incisions open and expose yourself to a very harsh possibility of infection which could possibly end your life? You'll be able to give up playing with your kid on top of you just to keep your life FOR your child. It's a month. Get some perspective. You need to heal and be at your best for your kid.
I had an 18 month old and had a c-section with my second child. and at the time my son weighed almost 30 lbs. since my newborn was still in the hospital due to being prematre, they told me not to lift anything heavier then my son( 12 weeks ealry calls for a baby under 3 lbs.) so how was i suppose to take care of a 30 lb baby at home. well needless to say becasue i did not listen and was picking him up i open my inscion back up on both ends and got a bigger scar then what i should have and it was almost infected. so i would advise to listen to the doctor they know best.