Monday, 29 August 2011
Tonight while Kadyn was playing in her room, I decided to tackle the mountain of clothing that had piled up in the corner. I pulled the things I thought were too small aside, separated summer/winter, and then shirts/pants. As I was folding them up, I took a few seconds with each of Kadyns pieces of clothing that she has outgrown. I stopped to think of one memory from when she had worn it, then put it in a box. I wanted to cry the entire time.
Honestly, my reaction to the clothes with labels that read "too small" was "THAT is too small for her already? I just bought that! She only got to wear it twice! I cant believe we're in 12 month clothes already. I remember when I first moved her from newborn to 0-3. O my God.. Before I know it.. I'll be buying her a bra!"
My insides turned to mush.. I wanted to drop everything and hold her.. When she put her hands on my shoulder to pull up on me, I reached over and gave her the biggest hug possible.
On top of it, all day today I had been avoiding boxing up her bottles. My dad washed them all, and kept saying "you need to pick out the ones that need to go up"
Me - "Yea yea ... I will... Gotta do __ first". After dinner, I made myself stand in front of the sink and pick out which ones I was going to box up. I didn't have a hard time with the cheapo "Oh crap, need more bottles" bottles. I had a hard time with the Medela bottles. The ones we used when she came home from the hospital. I really might pick ONE and use it as a flower vase or something. That way it can still have a purpose, AND I get to be reminded of her itty bitty days.
I know that she HAS to grow up, the alternative is much worse. I am trying my hardest to take in every little thing she does. I record as much as possible, and take as many pictures as possible. I used to make fun of the "sappy moms".
I AM one now, and would probably make fun of the moms who weren't sappy.
I love my daughter with all of my heart.
Her growing up hurts my heart, but also fills with me with pride.. and joy... (HEY! I understand why they say that now!)
Its crazy how time flies.... In the blink of an eye..