Sunday, 28 August 2011
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Too Young To Care About Appearance?
I work in a shop of one of the UK's largest footwear chains. The brand prides itself on it's kids wear department, we measure feet and fit shoes to an approved standard. No one day is the same when it comes to the customers that pass through the shop entrance. I've never really cared much for the hype and protest against the magazines of today and the negative body image they give, I've always been quite skinny, skinny and short.People who I consider friends have looked at me, asked me my size and told me I'm 'tiny', 'small', 'so thin', but it's just the way I've always been, I can eat and eat and eat but when I step on the scales there's no difference. I guess that's why I've never cared about body image in the media, being five foot two inches and skinny has meant I've never really seen the consequences, the impact airbrushed celebrities and super skinny models have had on their audience. Until today.
The store is heaving with parents buying back to school shoes and I'm working the measuring machine, the least favorite job as I tell child after child to step into the white boxes and position their feet accordingly. A little girl of about 6 or 7, accompanied by her mum, steps onto the machine thinking they're scales and breathes a heavy sigh. "God," she exclaims "I hope I haven't put on weight!" I was stunned as her mother just laughed, I never realized how children even as young as 7 are concerned about their weight, appearance, the clothes they wear.
I don't even remember when I started to wear a full face of makeup, so I ask, how young is too young for children to take an active interest in their appearance or weight? Is it really an airbrushed, 'perfect' culture that is making our children grow up so fast?
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- From: etoilesduciel@xanga
- Name: etoilesduciel
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Comments (23)
My 11 year old is still oblivious to her appearance lol.. I'm always the one to be like "your clothes don't match... that shirt doesn't fit right... please let's do something with your hair..."
I consider myself lucky though.. I know some tweeners out there are major divas lol
it's tricky. you really do need to tell kids the reality of "beauty." no one ever explained it to me when i was younger so i believed the women were as beautiful as they appeared. even animated women and disney princesses - i would look at them and see how much they were eating and wish i could be as thin as them when they ate. i specifically remember watching sailor moon and saw how much she ate and saw that everyone was making fun of her weight and it did impact my own view of myself. it took me until high school to realize that everyone's body is different. i figured out the animated people after middle school (haha) but models and airbrushing never crossed my mind until high school.
i would definitely encourage talking to children about all these things at a young age. reassuring that these people may not be as real or natural as they seem (even if it seems obvious). i always wonder what kind of person i would be now, how much more confident and happy i would be if someone had explained this all to me when i was younger.
i was 8 years old when i first started becoming uncomfortable with my weight and was 10 when i went on my first diet.
My guess would be that the 7 year old is just repeating what she has heard others say. It would be a shame if she were sincerely concerned about her weight since children are meant to grow and gain weight!
Young children should be playing with times and spend time with the people they love, not worry about their apprences.
I bet that little girl saw/heard her mom say that while the mom was weighing herself. Kids at that age mirror their parents and a lot of what comes out of their mouths have already come out of their parents mouths at one point.
The moral of the story: Moms' & Dads' attitudes about their appearance and life in general rub off on their children. Be careful of the message you're sending.
I think a lot of it's parents. Im chubby and I have had my problems with eating disorders, low confidence levels and the like.
I am sure my child will be a lil chunky too, but I will love her no matter what and I am not going to criticize her for it. Hopefully she will be active and smart when it comes to food choices as I have changed so much with my pregnancy and hope to continue ( I havent gained any weight this pregnancy).
I started wearing make up and defining myself in High School, then when I got out I completely changed again and it wasn't so important to impress my peers anymore. Now I wear a lot of plain tanks in layers with regular shorts... I wear coverup and mascara. No biggie...
Im good with who I am now.
So hopefully that little girl will out grow it...
Maybe it's just a case of "kids say the darndest things."
Neither of my kids worry about their appearance but they are aware of what they're wearing. My 5 year old son loves dressing up and when asked, always picks a collared shirt. And my 2 year old? She loves doing her hair and getting all dolled up, but don't all little girls? Kids'll be kids, right?
Sometimes little kids make us laugh because they say the things we adults say and it's just too funny coming from someone who is a mini-me! In any case, I think most kids really start to take a more active interest in their appearance when they hit their teenage years and they get their first zit.
I used to have a problem with being fairly tall for a (mostly) Asian, and being naturally pale and skinny in a high school full of shorter tanned Asians who often thought my being slightly underweight (thanks for the underweight genes, mum and dad) combined with my pale complexion was a sign of my being terminally ill. It took a while, but I'm pretty cool with it now and wear a bit of colour on my cheeks and lips so I look less 'frail'.
It's not so much the 'airbrush' culture that's making our kids grow up quicker, in my opinion it's the marketing. Seriously, who makes thongs for kids??!
Hmmm.
I don't have an issue with kids caring about certain appearance things... hygiene is important, and best if learned at an age when it'll stick. And wanting to look appropriate for occasions is, like it or not, an important skill for jobs and social stuff. You can make mistakes learning it as a kid, but it's embarrassing if you mess up as an adult.
But the weight thing? I think it depends on how it's done. My nephew has a weight problem and he is constantly watching it. He's not obsessed, but he works out most every day, eats more veggies than the rest of his siblings, and considers things before he puts them in his mouth... and he's only in 7th grade. That I see as a health necessity, not a bad influence.
If this is a little girl who feels the need to stay bony to be beautiful, with no thought to health at all, that's a HUGE problem.
Something similar happened to my sister while babysitting. She and the little girl(let's call her K) were sitting on the couch when the girl looked at her knees and said, "Ugh...my knees are sooo ugly...Aren't they ugly? They are definitely ugly...Will they be ugly forever?" K had been riding her bike earlier and fell scraping her knees a bit so that they had a few scratches. Nothing major, no skin peeled back just a couple scratches. My sister said, "They aren't ugly you just got hurt that's all, people get hurt all the time and that's just how it looks." But the little girl was set that her knees were forever ugly and while they were watching t.v. she would always point out the people she thought weren't good looking. "Ew she's fat, I don't like him he's ugly...". One day she told my sister, "I want to be skinny like you." "K, I weigh more than you do don't be silly, you're like 40Ilbs." She's only 7. When my sister was telling us all of this my mom started laughing and we looked at her. "She definitely takes after her mom, she puts appearances high up there in her priorities so I'm sure her daughter is just repeating all the things her mom says and thinks about other people and herself of what is pretty and ugly." My sister and I were horrified, I could understand if a 12 year old said this stuff but a 7yr. old? I started thinking about how many moms say similiar things to them selves in the mirror or while they are getting dress or about other people when they go out or are watching t.v. and their kids are around and hear them....sigh.
A lot of kids repeat what their parents say without realizing what they mean. It's sometimes quite funny and I think this is an instance.
I believe it's good to install a good sense of health from a very early age. This means weight as well. People confuse the need to stay at a healthy weight with having bad self image all the time but it doesn't have to be that way.
Im not going to lie and tell a young fat girl that she's fine just the way she is. Thats horrible! They need to know that being fat, while not a crime in any real sense, just isn't acceptable and that it is an indicator of being unhealthy. Im sure there are other health traits I could touch on but weight tends to be the most prominent. I think the only things that upset me is over-sexualized clothing and make up.Theres no reason that little girls should be questioning how much 'cleavage' is acceptable or trying to change the way they look through cosmetics.I was aware that I was fat when I was that age. I also knew I wasn't pretty. So, no, it's not surprising. It is sad though. Children shouldn't have to worry about it.
I really don't think it's a good idea or healthy for little children to care so much about their appearances to an extent.
Of course, I was 9 when I panicked that they were going to weight every classmate for P.E. time. I would run around the backyard of the house about 50 times or until I got tired so I wouldn't gain weight. I also wouldn't eat that day, I kinda had the concept about if I don't eat I'll lose weight. Teasing start as early as first grade, if not started early by family members.
but it also could be an instant that most suggest as well, that kids tend to mimic what they see at home. Maybe she has seen mom or older sibling done it one too many times.
@AbnormalButSane@xanga - agreed not in the part that you're unpretty I meant, I agree that it is sad that it's not right to feel that way at such a young age.
I knew an 8-year-old who would throw a fit and start crying if she had to be seen in public without makeup because she thought she was too ugly without it. It made me want to cry too... :(
I think around 11. That age is the perfect age to start focusing on appearance. That is when middle school starts and most kids begin to hit puberty.. so probably should start to realize that their body and appearance is changing. In all honesty though, i do think it is good to be weight conscious. I know that may sound awful but I do think it should be a healthy sort of conscious where the kid realizes they need to be active and eat healthy in order to be healthy.
@MangoWOW@xanga - I dont agree with your view on bigger girls being unhealthy. Some people can be bigger and completely healthy.
@nicolemcw@xanga - Well unfortunately for you there is a difference between "big" and "fat", and if you noticed I only used the word fat.
I specifically chose a picture of children with 'regular' obesity (because it really is too easy to find morbidly obese children these days) because I can point out that while they aren't that bad you have to admit they're probably not at their healthiest. Just because they aren't dying doesn't mean the fat is doing anything good for them.Even if that wasn't the case, there really is no reason for a child to be FAT or overly big. Like these kids here: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_M0iiV5ki24s/TVBZUnWBjmI/AAAAAAAAA8w/qhb5jjvzoKU/s1600/fat_children.jpg
And as to your comment in general: I've made repeated comments to responders like you that I am GENERALIZING. Unless you want people to literally end every sentence with, "I know not everyone is like this", "I know there are exceptions", "There could be other things" etc etc you need to remember that space for exceptions are generally implied. You really are just ruining the flow of conversation if you stopping to "remind" people about the special cases out there.
@Whatsthat - I totally agree. I don't know when i started hearing my mom say she was fat/didnt look good in her clothes/ she was going on a diet. Now that i think back though I can remember her saying these things often especially when i was in high school. I was chunky when i was little and my parents never criticized me, but now that im older i dread gaining weight, i think im fat and hate how i look in everything i wear. Im built JUST like my mom..identical... and though i dont think she looks fat or unattractive, its how i feel and i think it stemmed from her.
i think i was about 8 or 9 years old when i started to believe i was fat/ugly. but then again i grew up hearing my mom always talk about how she was fat and needed to loose weight. that really screwed me up for life... but as horrible as my body image is i'll still do everything in my power to make sure my daughters home is a positive environment because i dont want her to go through every thing i did and am going through.