Friday, 19 August 2011
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Pregnant and Scared - Words of Encouragement Needed
I'm 24 weeks pregnant and scared to death, sometimes I feel like I don't want the baby then I feel awful for thinking it and other times I feel its the best thing in the world.
When I found out I was pregnant I wasn't sure what I was going to do as I was only with the dad on and off. He didn't want another child (he has one with an ex) so he didn't want it either. When it came down to it, I couldn't do it. The thought of getting rid of the baby killed me so I kept it. My ex was coming around to the idea of having a baby until I told him he had to tell his ex as people were starting to question why I wasn't drinking or going out as much. She wouldn't have wanted to hear it from anyone else but once he told her, she went mad for a day or two then told him she loved him and wanted to work things out.So now I'm alone and pregnant. His ex (I'mnot sure if there back together or not) calling me all sorts of things. Then on top of that, when he sees me he treats me like a stranger as if I'm not carrying his child. I have tried so hard to be strong but it's killing me inside. The only good thing about it is I have my family for support. But I'm so up and down all the time I'm arguing with them and we have always been so close as a family. I can't tell them how I feel in case they think I'm being stupid for feeling the way I do. His mum who wants to be part of the baby's life.If she really does love him then I wish them the best but if she is doing this only because I'm pregnant then I can't believe someone could be so cruel after all he has done. I don't want him in my life but I do want him to part of my child's life. I can't help but think it's this woman who is keeping him from us. I did know before she found out he was interested.
My head is so battered I just don't know how much more I can take or how long I can be strong for.
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- From: tricky
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Comments (10)
random person doesn't know if they want to keep their baby AGAIN? First post on their blog?
I call bullshit.
I once heard a quote that says, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the ONLY option you have." So don't give up in this life! You will pull it through!
Aw.. Im sure things will work out for the best.. And its normal to be scared with a baby.. Ive never had one but I know people who have and it will all work out in the end :) Your ex sounds like an ass and his ex, or current gf, should REALLY mind her own business..
You have to be strong for your baby, even though it's a hard road you're on. I understand that he has a kid with someone else, but they also weren't together. I believe an ex is an ex for a reason. Why would she want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with her? And if that guy is so quick to abandon you then you are better off without him. All you need to worry about right now is your baby, and I hope he steps up. But chances are he won't. You be sure to let him know though that you're not going to allow him to act so foolishly with your child.
Nobody can be pulled away from a place where they want to be. Don't blame this girl. Your baby's father isn't stepping up and frankly, you may be all that baby will have. So you're going to have to endure a lot, yes, but you'll go through a lot of changes and growth in the coming months and years. A good support system is crucial, so remember that your loved ones care about you, so let them in. You have the normal tension and worry that comes with having a baby, but on top of that you have a guy who isn't stepping up to the plate to be there for you both. That doesn't help.
Also, if you don't mind my asking... how old are you?
Have you considered adoption? You said you didn't want to get rid of the baby, I don't know if you're only referring to abortion.
I am praying for you. You are dealing with a lot and only God knows what is going to happen next in your life. All I can really say is that God never makes mistakes. He knew this baby was going to be conceived and He knew that you and your ex would be the parents. He trusts us with His creation and He trusts us to be good parents. I know that if you turn to Him, He will make a way for you.
I think that if you have not considered adoption, that may be the best choice. It might be a hard choice, but every decision that you make from now on, will ALWAYS be hard. Because now it is not just you, it is the baby that you are also thinking about.
There are lots of wonderful parents out there who would love to raise the baby and keep the baby safe from all the drama surrounding your ex and his ex girlfriend.
The baby would have a home where he/she would feel loved and secure. All kids deserve that.
And you could even choose an open adoption where you would still be able to see the baby. If the father wants to be in the babies life, that would be great too. And the plus of having an open adoption is that if your ex doesnt want to see the baby, then he doesnt have to. So you are free from having custody issues or child support issues, you can be there for your baby when she/he needs you and you can eventually become your child's friend.
It sounds like a lot of people around you have a lot of growing up to do and I am just praying for you. I am proud of you for being courageous and choosing to keep your baby when others may have said heartlessly, to "get rid of it". That isn't fair to the baby or yourself to live with that burden of sadness all your life.
You should contact a local Christian pregnancy crisis center. I think that they will help you through this so much more lovingly and gently than the people on Xanga. Praying for you!
Sister, what you are doing takes so much heart, so much courage; if presidents, kings and prime ministers had the courage you do right now, to say "yes" to that little life you are carrying, there would never be another war again. Hang in there; I am so thankful that you have your family's support! Your child will be a source of joy in your life and theirs, I am sure of it. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for choosing this child, and may God bless you for it.
I'm so sorry that you're going through such a rough time. God has such a wonderful plan for you and your baby. Just trust in Him, that no matter how hard it is, that He knows best. I'll be thinking and praying for you.
You don't want him in your life, but you want him in your baby's? Don't do that. You want a good father figure in the baby's life. Not somebody who is that unstable.
Just leave them out of your life and your child's life. You will find somebody else who is better. Until that day focus on your child, and at this exact moment enjoy the perks of being pregnant. Stay positive and cut the negatives out. Look at tons of baby decorations and clothes...buy supplies for a scrapbook. Take some parenting classes and get to know other soon-to-be-moms and dads!
Everything will be just fine.