Most women with healthy pregnancies would be at a much lower risk of needing a c-section than fifty percent...not unless this was referencing your pregnancy alone.

Also, I am surprised at your sister thinking the woman was crazy.  As a L&D nurse she should know how exhausted and hormonal the whole experience of delivery is.  From a medical standpoint, it is a huge difference than having a vaginal birth.  I don't know anyone that doesn't think major abdominal surgery isn't a big deal.  Who cares if the woman did not want to hold her child because she was upset?  It is a common reaction for many people.  She was a stressed-out mother who obviously when through medical complications that were potentially life-threatening to her and/or her child and you people expected her just be okay with everything and happily accept a recovery that is now going to be weeks longer and much more painful. 

I agree that people seem to be putting a lot of emphasis on birth plans and should expect to be flexible depending on the current needs of the mother and baby, but the experience affects you psychologically just as much as the end result.  That is why so many women put it on a pedestal.  Just read through some of the posts and comments that have been made over the last three years on Momaroo and you can see why the birth experience is put on a pedestal.  Negative birth experiences can affect women for a long time even if they are happy their child is healthy.

 @sarahsmurfette@xanga - No, you're right. I wrote this post well over a year ago and someone, in a much nicer way, pointed out something similar to what you said. Then I changed my opinion. Honestly, I would be upset if I had a c-section and I definitely see what you're saying. Whether or not it would interfere with me bonding with my child, not so sure. I had a hard time bonding with my baby, despite how I gave birth.

Ultimately, and this is why I wondered if I should allow this post to be submitted, I realized a long time ago that calling this woman crazy, as my sister did, was incorrect. My sister doesn't quite understand, because she's never had a child. At the time I wrote this, I should have, considering I did (though, yes, I didn't have the choice taken away from me in that way). She's wanted a baby for so long and I think to her, it was just hard to see and understand. And, yes, I would hate to have the c-section determine how I could deliver any future children or determine how many kids I have. I agree with you there.

Anyway, I sincerely apologize for how this post came off. I knew it back then and I should probably have not allowed it to be posted, because that's not how I want to come off.

@snarkius@xanga - very well said!! Thank you for putting some of that out there.

@sarahsmurfette@xanga - AMEN!!!

Also, many women don't consider how important diet is during pregnancy and what role that plays in preterm labor / needing a C-section. many times C-sections can be avoided and prevented... the sad thing is that many women are just not educated about it, and go along with whatever doctors want/tell them, and don't research on their own.

I had a pretty long and horrifically painful natural home birth, and it went differently than i'd planned (although my baby turned out just fine -- she was extremely healthy and chunky and
pink and never once had a problem at home - midwife checked heartbeat
very frequently) and it still took me MONTHS, almost a year to get over the trauma of it. I am not sure I'd do it again like that but I am still wary/skeptical of my country's (USA) hospital system.

@Brilliant_Innocence@xanga - you are allowed to write what you want and make mistakes and change your opinion! Dang it, we are all so hard on each other! :)

@DirtyAndShaken@xanga -  And, again, I'm sorry this post came off the way It did. My intention wasn't to be judgemental and, when i wrote this, there were things that I didn't know. As for the "I'd rather have c-section than a dead baby", I really wasn't comparing that to the breech baby. I was just saying that, if i had needed a c-section in my experience, i'd much rather have had it than have lost my baby.  I realize that breech doesn't equal death.

yes, I think unnecessary procedures/interventions are being done and forced and I don't agree with that and I can realize that that would make someone upset. I wasn't trying to be hurtful or judgemental, but I realize that this is how it came off and, at the time i wrote this, I wasn't very good at expressing myself.

I think it's important. But not so important as a birth plan or a "dream birth". Birth plans don't really make sense to me, since childbirth is not really something you can control. I don't understand people who freak out when their birth plan doesn't work out. I'm not judging them - I just don't understand them.

My first childbirth experience was totally fine - you could say it was a "dream birth". My doctor said I had a "textbook delivery". I didn't even tear or anything.

My second - and last - experience, not so much. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever been through. My miracle baby made it through, though and so did I. I learned a lot from going through such a terrible time. There are some things you don't have any control over and you just have to go with it. You can't fight it, it'll drive you mad. Positivity and not dwelling on what you wish would have happened can take you a long way.

So, while I think it's important to have a good birth experience - if I hadn't already decided two children were enough, my last experience would've made up my mind pretty damn quick - I think it's more important to realise plans can and do change quickly in childbirth and that one must go with the flow.

That's my two cents, anyways.

i had both of my babies early one was 33 weeks vaginal and the other was 28 weeks and he was c-section. so of course i did not get to the point of i want this baby out now till it was time to push or have a c-section.  and after 13 years i will never have that.  ahd to have my tubes tied.  all people want is a healthy baby.  well my baby was not healthy when he was born.  he was very sick so now people just need to be happy they have a baby that is alive.  

@Brilliant_Innocence@xanga - If you'd like to do another post, I'd be more then happy to post it on the front page. I was just going through blogs and finding well-written posts and when I found yours I liked it. I'm sorry if anything being said in the comments is hurtful or making your head spin! As editor, I'm just trying to grow the site. Like I said, feel free to write a "then and now" post and I'll get it up if you submit it! I'd love to read it!

And here's reminder - Good writers take the heat and warm their fingers for more writing :)

My SIL had three C-sections so far with all three of her children. She can only have two more children because if she has any more than five children it will kill her so she is on BC (the shot) to prevent pregnancy until and if she decides to have another child.  C-sections are not even medically necessary the majority of the time, doctors just pressure C-sections because it means more $ in their pockets than a natural vaginal birth. I would be PISSED if I was told to have a C-section just because my baby was breech.  I think it's sad that so many women in this country don't know their rights about child birth and go along with what the doctor says and I am alarmed at the growing trend of C-sections in this country. Giving birth now is nothing more than a $ maker for doctors and a business.  It's bad enough you have bad doctors who don't care about their patients and act like their patients aren't even human.  Breech births are possible to be born vaginally. A C-section shouldn't be the first resort to a breech birth but you can't expect much from people who aren't even trained to deal with breech births anymore.  I think women should labor at home as long as possible so their doctor isn't an incompetent ass and forces them to do something they don't want.

maybe if the crazed helicopter mom types weren't so sue-happy, we in the healthcare field wouldn't be so quick to intervene...we can't win. we either give you the natural birthing experience you demand, lose the baby, and get sued, or insist on a c-section or induction, and you bitch forever. and we get paid regardless of how you birth...it isn't about money. believe it or not, we went into medicine to HELP YOU....we miss our family functions, birthdays, time with our kids, sleep...because YOU have a book written about how you want your kid to be born, and we try and make that happen. but when your body goes wrong, we step in and fix it, because we want YOUR CHILD to be born healthy/avoid the lawsuit you will slap on us if anything goes wrong. you want birth to be more natural, start lobbying for a cap on medical lawsuits and affordable mal-practice insurance. until then, all you're doing is whining/making us less inclined to even want to be your medical professionals.

I could understand being upset over a c-section. It does limit the amount of children you can have. The recovery takes longer. But for me the birth experience does seem important.

When a third of all women get emergency c-sections, I have to question the legitimacy of it. I don't think that a third of all women are broken. Breach birth doesn't always mean that vaginal birth is not possible. With frank breach, the risk is only a little higher. But a transverse baby can't be delivered vaginally, as the baby can't engage in the pelvis. Footling breach is a little riskier since compression of the cord is higher. But most breach babies are at an increased risk simply because babies who are breach tend toward having a higher chance of other medical issues in the first place.

I would be upset if I had a c-section for a long labor if the baby seemed fine. I would consider that failure to wait on the doctors end. But if the placenta was coming off or covering my cervix or something, then I know that the risks of vaginal birth outweigh the benefits.

Also, a c-section doesn't always lead to the same complex release of hormones after the birth. So bonding can tend to be harder. The woman who has just had a surgery she didn't want now has a baby thrust at her. Maybe she just needed a little to process what had happened.

My theory is that if you pick your provider carefully, then in the moment that something is happening you can actually trust them. Most health care providers just want to make people well. They truly want to help. If you pick the provider that has the same views as you do, then you can trust when things don't happen according to plan, that they are doing for you what you would have done.

That said, most women don't need intervention. But for those who do truly need help, I would want them to have it.

The birth experience is more than just what the woman feels or what is done to her. It is also about how safe her environment feels. It is about what she wants her baby to experience when it comes into the world. Some women have great natural births. Some women have great births in the hospital with meds. Women do want healthy babies. Both extremes tend toward the same thought pattern. What is best for mother and baby. If the chance of baby dying went up 2% for vaginal birth, but the mother's chance for dying went up 2% for a c-section then I would think that it was up to the parents of the child what they wanted to do.