Monday, 15 August 2011
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A Kid-Free Date Night
Eric and I are going out with a couple friends of ours to dinner in the city this Saturday. Obviously, this is a kid-free time. I won't even talk about the complicated thoughts that go through my mind to accomplish such a feat.
I'm so excited but I'm also kind of apprehensive. I'm excited because we're going OUT and we're going with friends we've never been able to hang out with sans kids. I'm excited because I know the conversation will be my favorite kind--fast, loud, chummy, and constant. I'm excited because I know we're going to have fun together.
But of course, I'm also apprehensive because I have nothing I want to wear that actually fits me right now, I want everything to go really well, we still don't know what else we're doing besides eating, and it's our 7th anniversary this weekend so I'm trying to convince myself nothing special will happen but deep down I really want it to anyway.
Let's just cover one of those sources of unwarranted anxiety.
See, there's this thing I do. Every time Eric and I plan to go out or even to just watch a movie at home after the kids go to bed, I start anticipating failure. I start to feel sure we'll end up fighting about something stupid or I'll forget something really important that I was supposed to do and then the whole evening will be ruined. Or even worse, I start imagining that nothing of any significance will happen at all and the whole evening could have been just as enjoyable doing our normal routine--him on LoTRO, me on Youtube.
I know, I know. I shouldn't get so anxious and I should spend a lot more time envisioning how well things may go.What trips me up is we seldom go out. We haven't even made time to watch movies together this summer because we're both so burned out from summer schedules (softball, bbq's, and extra meetings, oh my!). If I could, I would tell Past Victoria to quit whining about all the movies she's watched with Eric because I would love to get back to at least that on a regular basis.
So, we finally get to go out and I start to worry because it's like the pressure is ON, you know? This is our ONE TIME to get away and have fun. So we better have fun. WE BETTER HAVE FUN, DANGIT. See how this is going? Then I get all stressed if we have one little tiff beforehand and I assume the whole evening, our one chance at remembering why we liked hanging out so much 7 years ago, is totally blown.
Did I mention I don't have anything I want to wear?
Do you have date night(s)? Do you feel the same apprehension when going out? Where do you and what do you do?
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- From: TheMarriedFreshman@xanga
- About Me: I am a Verbal Nudist. I like what I write. Therefore I share it. Egocentric? Maybe. Worthwhile? Naturally. :P :) I am also a Christian--and don't assume you know what that means. Ask me about it. "One day I may agree with you, and one day I may not. That is how it is in the grown up world." --vanedave, here on Xanga
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Comments (2)
Even without kids yet I think I often go through the same sort of thoughts because dates with my hubby are also seldom. We get so busy and wrapped up with work, meetings, social events, church, family events, etc, that when we do get some time to ourselves we put so much pressure on the date and the idea of having an awesome time.
I think what's helped me is just trying to go with the flow and reminding myself that we're out and we're here to spend time together, focused on each other not necessarily the place we're at or the activity we're doing. Sometimes I think I appreciate a quiet hour at a coffee shop just chatting more than a dinner at a new restaurant or doing a new activity.
We try not to plan our dates and I think that helps us. We'll come across a free Redbox code, and turn to each other and say, "Hey, we're not doing anything tonight, let's get a movie!". So we get a not-so-kid-friendly movie and enjoy some ice cream and a few laughs. This way, there's no preparation, no wanting to look nice, we can just be comfy.