Friday, 12 August 2011
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Would You Choose A Single-Sex Education For Your Children?
"So what do you and Angelica do over at the US military base?" my friend Brian once asked me as we were walking to work.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean, it's just you two and a bunch of guys, right? Like... so what do you do over there? Do you have orgies or something?"
To my mild surprise Brian was actually serious when he asked this question.
Angelica and I were English teachers in Seoul at a small academy. There were a handful of foreign teachers at the academy but Angelica and I were the only foreign women. One time, when we all at a bar together, Angelica and I received an invitation by a couple of US soldiers to visit them at the base. Our male companions were snubbed so Angelica and I went alone. Since then Angelica and I had visited the base a couple more times.
"No, we don't have orgies," I laughed, "We just sit around and talk."
"Seriously?" Brian looked at me skeptically.
Yes, seriously. When Angelica and I visited the soldiers in their barracks (which looked just like college dorm rooms to me) we would sit around with the guys and talk. We'd laugh, drink beer, play video games and just shoot the breeze with the guys. Certainly there was some flirtation involved as well but to all appearances the soldiers seemed really happy just to have a couple of girls to talk to. Being an enlisted man means living a rather grinding existence ... especially when it involved hanging out with a bunch of guys all day. Living without women was sort of like living without vegetables. At first it seems fun but after awhile you feel sort of anemic and psychologically exhausted. You start craving the company of women even if just to talk to. It was amazing how cheerful the enlisted guys became when Angelica and I just entered a room.
I told this to Brian. He didn't really believe me.
Half a decade later I thinking about school brochures and where I would send my son once he's ready to go to school. Money is tight so we'll probably just send him to public school. Still, in the event that we'll have more cash in three years (I will have my degree by then), I started wondering about what sort of school would be good for my son.
"Send him to a co-ed school," my mother said, "Single-sex environments are good for girls but bad for boys."
"Really?" my father said, "I read a study that said otherwise. In Florida they found out that boys in co-ed schools were only 37% proficient when taking the FCAT (Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test) and boys in single-sex schools were 86% proficient."
I read the link to the study ( http://www.singlesexschools.org/research-singlesexvscoed.htm) but was still undecided. I thought about how edgy and angry my male friends were when they had been placed in single-sex environments. I wasn't just thinking of the marines. In the US there are over ninety all-women colleges and only three all-men colleges. Men just don't like to be without women... not even in a purely social situation.
Also, is a single-sex environment good for preparing my son for the real world when he grows up? On the other hand, what good is a co-ed school in terms of social preparation if my son's education is dealt a bad blow as a result? I'm on the fence.
What do you think? Would you send your child to a single-sex school if you had the choice? Why or why not?
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Comments (12)
Academically it would help a lot I think.
My parents told me that when I was young they were going to put me in a Catholic private school for girls. I think I would have been miserable not getting to know guys and I was and still kind of am very very shy. Most of my conversations and interactions have been with boys. Having all girls would have been bad and probably more intimidating than it's been now. And I think the same way with a boy. I want him to learn how to interact with both girls and boys. He will learn social acceptable standard. I love my son a lot, he just started kinder this last Wednesday, so since I can't afford private school, public school will do. And co-ed is just wonderful.Schools in DH's country are sex segregated from 1st-college. (There's no Kindergarten in DH's culture as the Government doesn't recognize it). Everything is sex segregated in DH's country and that's one of the few things I happen to like about my husband's country. Of course everything also caters to families so it's hard for single men to do anything without a female relative with them.
My daughter is doing well in a co-ed school. The boys taught her how to play soccer and softball, she taught them how to make bento and sandwiches.
In this day and age I would not send my child to either a public school are coed school.
Public schools are more like zoos or prisons then they are educational institutions. And American society is so sexualized as to drive anyone to complete distraction.
I see both sides of the argument. I think there is a time and place for non-coed education; if nothing else, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts or non-coed Bible studies provide an opportunity for talking about gendered problems. But my boyfriend is quick to point out that with his personality, he hated when he was stuck with just the boys. He's not the crazy, rowdy type, and so he never enjoyed being in all-male groups. For him, an all-boys school would have been miserable.
Maybe it would help to see who your son's friends are in the next few years. He might be perfectly happy hanging around with the boys on the playground, but he might also prefer to play with the girls. You know your son--when it would come time to decide on a private school, you and your hubby will make the right choice.
I went to a coed elementary-jr high and an all girl catholic high school. Being in that all girl environment was SO MUCH FUN. I had a great time in highschool. There was very little drama with no boys to get between anyone. For the most part everyone was friendly with everyone, and no bullying that I saw in my four years there. The environment was relaxed, suportive, wholesome, and comfortable. It was a community that I dont think I would have gotten at a co-ed school. And you can imagine there would be dramaticaly less disciplinary problems than in a co-ed school.
However, I was isolated from boys..which may be a good thing. When I got to college I remember looking around and thinking how odd it was that it wasnt a campus full of girls. I was unsure about how to interact with the boys in my classes because I wasnt used to having boys around.
I caught up though, got used to boys, started dating, and five years after I graduated from highschool I'm 2 years in with an amazing boy. I think it might have been a good thing that my dating experiences were postponed until I was a college student. I think I'm better off for it now.
My grade school was a Catholic co-ed school, but my high school was a Catholic all-girls school. I loved going to an all girl school. Every one in college asks me if there was a lot of drama and cat fights, but there were none. I guess once you take the guys away girls find less to argue about. I also think it's a lot easier to focus on school and yourself when you don't have to worry about what the cutie in math class thinks about you. Plus, it was nice being able to skip a shower or two on nights when I was too busy cramming and working on projects and would chose sleep over cleanliness. And you can't beat getting ready for school in five minutes.
I personally think co-ed is better, that's only because in all girls schools it gets bitchy and in all boys schools there are more fights.
But the problem is then there is a problem in later life when it comes to communicating with the opposite sex
I would have HATED to go to an all-girls school.
I think co-ed is important for learning social skills.
I don't have children but if I did I would not send them to single-sex education unless that is what they wanted. I think co-ed is better.
I would send my children to co-ed...specifically because I feel they need the inter-gender interaction otherwise they won't know how to interact with the other gender. I mean, I know that's probably not the case, but I just feel that way.
It might help academically, in the short term, but in the long term it might be less beneficial. What I have noticed and heard (from men who have talked to me about their all-boys school experience) is that while sure, they can focus great during high school, but once they get to college, they have to basically relearn social interaction. This learning process set them back in college, an already stressful time in a young adult's life.
I think that it's ok to goof around a bit in high school- it's a time to learn about yourself and how you interact with others, and make mistakes. College is less a time to do this- especially since somebody in the family is paying big bucks for tuition.