Wednesday, 03 August 2011
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War Zone: The Terrible Twos Have Arrived!
So I started my new job, looking after three new children, a week before the youngest's second birthday. He would have an odd tantrum here and there when his mummy left for work, as he is very clingy to her, but then after a minute or so he'd calm down watching Peppa Pig, Ben and Holly or Dora. After that things were grand.
His birthday fell on a Monday this year, and on the Saturday before we went shopping to get him some presents and balloons. Well, let me tell you guys this, it was like he realised he was turning two suddenly.
On the way out of the shop to the car he had the biggest tantrum me, the kids, and his mommy have ever seen. There was kicking, screaming, crying, pinching, biting -everything. Other parents looked our way and grinned when they saw the big '2' balloon and saw Marty in her arms. It was very amusing, but boy did he hurt your ears.
And ever since then the tantrums have really kicked in big time! It's like he had some sort of clock that was counting down inside him that announced he was close to two, and we should prepare for meltdown.
It's now a war zone in the house between the children, and I stand there trying to dodge the bullets as things kick off when someone doesn't get their way. To some, that scenario might sound like a nightmare and people might think, what the hell am I doing or that I'm over-exaggerating, but I've learned that kids argue and fight. If anything, being here has made me remember everything I did as a child in terms of arguments with my own brother and sister.
In fact, here the kids have the same gender and age difference between each other as I did with my younger brother and sister. Sometimes I just have to stand there and try not to laugh as they get into fights, and I remember something along the same lines that I did with my sister all those years ago.
And I've learned, of course, that distraction is the key to everything. Take something from him that he can't have, give him something he can have that he might find just as entertaining. Or, if it comes down to the last resort put him in front of the tv to watch Peppa, Ben and Holly, or Dora. He loves loves shows, and they calm everything right down.
So that is what I've experienced and learned entering the terrible two stages with a child that is not my own.
What have you learned upon entering the dangerous zone of the terrible twos? Is it worse that you imagined or better?
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About the Author
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- From: emma
- About Me: I'm an au-pair living in Ireland looking after four children all aged under 6 and two of them 15 month old twins.
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Comments (6)
2 suggestions.
1, go and buy the book Have A New Kid By Friday by Dr Kevin Leman. I used this book while I was a nanny and it revolutionized the house, and now I use it with my own kids.
and 2, if you think Terrible 2s are bad, hold onto your head for Horrific 3s, they kick in about 9 months after the 2s.
Keep your sense of humour about this, you're gonna need it =)
I'm the oldest of several. I've been bit, punched, kicked and puked all over so much that I never want babies.
How to deal?
Time -- he just won't get it.
My 2 yr old son is also big on the tantrums. I deal with it by walking away from him or ignoring. If he doesn't get what he wants, he will eventually learn that his method isn't working. Still waiting on that day...Now if the tantrum includes violence toward others, that is another story and depending on the severity of the infraction, he either gets time in the "bad boy corner" or a spanking. He is embarassing at restaurants right now, but I know it will pass. I know people around me probably wish I would just give him what he wants and can't have - but that is a temporary solution for a bigger problem and it won't bring on the good behavior any faster. *sigh*
@LadyGwenivere@xanga - Don't forget the Frustrating Fours! Five is only a few months away...so I think it will also be the frustrating fives.
I fully believe that the Terrible Twos/Threes/Fours are because they can't do things that they KNOW they can do. They just KNOW they can do it. Whether it is something like reading, shoe tying, or a grown up task. Then they get frustrated, and they can't explain why they're frustrated. Pile that on top of any given set of conditions (tired, hot, hungry, etc). And its a recipe for disaster.
@RainDropPixie@xanga - actually I think its more of a power struggle between parent and child. Parent wants to be dominant and wants an obedient child. Child wants to be their own little person. The more the parent tries to keep their child "in line" rather then teaching them appropriate ways of doing things, the more that child is going to lash out. Like tantrums for example. If our boy wants to throw a tantrum, he can do it at home in his room, not out in public, and when he is calm he can come back to play.
@LadyGwenivere@xanga - Oh I agree with that too. Too many parents want to play boss, and it just doesn't work like that. It only causes battles and power struggles.
So yeah, I guess I could add feelings of oppression into my list.
I'm amazed at how well behaved kids can be with guidance instead of dominating parents.