Tuesday, 26 July 2011
I'm so sorry that you're so old and tainted by society's rules and ideas instead of a beautiful creative blank slate like I am.
"BOO BOO buuuuuuuh BOOOOOP ba bee bee bee bee babibabibabi."
You might think that the gooey white paste is to put on my butt, but we babies know the truth. The ancient art of fingermark takes precedent over diaper-rash and always has; how else would all you boring grownups know about cavemen? You're an artist, you should understand.
"Di di di di di di di di di DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop a booooooooooooo--(spits everywhere)--DAAAAAAAddddddiiiiiiiiiiii DAAAAD."
Dad wouldn't have gotten so mad at me for lighting the fan on fire today, either. He would have seen the careful planning that went into sticking the strike-anywhere-matches into the fan 3 months ago after perfectly calculating how long it would take the breeze to move them into position to ignite. Yes, I made sure that you were super tired today because I knew today would be the day! Can you not see the genius in that? Daddy would.
"Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba zzzzzzzzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii BA! Zi zi zi zi di di di di di di zi zaaaaaaapaaaaaaaa. Da da da da da da da da da da asdhfjkadhfuiaebhahfhjdhar."
What are you doing with that cup? I was cleaning that! Cups get so much cleaner when they're already full of juice and you shove tissues in there. Look how clean that is now!
"NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA abooooooooo NA!"
I'm being nice! I don't need a time-out! Look at how nice I am, hugging my brother under the arms instead of around the head, petting the cat only kinda violently, giving you kisses that aren't completely dripping with drool....
"Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm uh-huh."
And yes, yes I would like some more cookies. See what I'm pointing at? Go get it....good mommy.
(hugs my leg and runs off hysterically giggling before tripping on himself and bashing his face on the floor for the 11th time today)
What's your little one been telling you lately?