Monday, 25 July 2011
I really have no idea what to do, so I figure what better way to find out than to ask a bunch of mothers and expecting mothers.
Last week I received a text message from a friend of mine. In that text she told me that she was pregnant. Now, I have to add before the wrong impression gets made, that the baby isn't mine. I've known this girl for going on four years now, and we've gone out as friends a bunch of times. We've tried to get together numerous other times, but it just hasn't worked out; and apart from a few drunk texts one New Years Eve when she suggested we should get married because we have so much in common we've never been anything more than friends. So I guess the picture I'm trying to paint is that we aren't in a relationship, never have been; but we're not strangers either.
Anyway, she told me that she's four months pregnant and the father is a guy from her work. When he found out she was pregnant and that she was keeping it, he suddenly wants nothing to do with her or the baby. This really set me off. I mean, she wasn't alone in making the baby. I told her that the guy needs to man up and take responsibility for what he did. So she's pregnant, and the father wants nothing to do to help. I've probably been more involved in her pregnancy than the father has. Just last night her and I were throwing around baby names for when the time comes.
The problem is, I don't know how involved I should get. I mean, she told me her family knows and they took the news better than she expected them to take it. So that tells me that she has some support. I don't know how many of her other friends she's told. I feel compelled to help her out in whatever way I can. It's her first pregnancy so going to the appointments quite possibly alone might very well be daunting and unnerving. She may not have the money to buy the crib and everything that needs to be bought for when the baby comes.
I hesitate to bring any of this up to her, because I know that it's really none of my business and I don't want to butt my head into a place where it's not welcome. I just want her to know that, even though she may feel like it, she doesn't have to go through this by herself. I want her to know that if she wants me to I'd go to the appointments with her, and help her get things ready for the baby. Again though, I go back to thinking that it's none of my business and I don't want her to think I'm trying to pry myself into her life.
Do any of you have advice? What would you want someone like me to do if you were in her situation? Is it out of line for me to ask if I can help?
Any advice that you can give is greatly appreciated.