Tuesday, 19 July 2011
I am currently 18 years old. I'm graduating high school in 3 weeks, from a challenging program with honors and multiple AP credits. I got into every college I have applied to, with more than enough scholarships/FASFA money, to pay next to nothing to go to school.
I'm also 34 weeks pregnant.
Abortion was never an option for me. (Well it was but that's a really long story.) Not because, I have some big moral standing against it, but I simply found out I was pregnant too late to have that option. The further along I am, the happier I am that I didn't have that option.
The most logical thing to do, is adoption, but I can't. I guess I'm selfish, but I'm in love with my unborn child. I could not imagine handing off my baby to someone else. Even if they may provide a better life than I'm able to. I can still provide an okay life.
My boyfriend (the baby's father) and I are moving out in two weeks. We both have jobs, and my family is super supportive, and is willing to help as much as possible.
I'm trying to avoid having to have government help, because for the most part, we are okay financially. We're not swimming in wealth, no one is right now, and I don't like the idea of someone else's money was forced away from them (taxes), and being used to pay for my mistakes. But if it comes down to it, and there no other options to feed my child, I'd swallow my pride for the time being and use something such as WIC.
Being in high school and pregnant is a struggle. Teen pregnancy is extremely common in my school, but it still doesn't make it any less hard. Every single person looks at you differently and you can feel them judging you, and you can hear them talking about you when they think you're not listening.
I had a teacher question why I was bothering taking an AP test, assuming I wasn't still planning on going to college. I felt I had no need to explain the fact that we lived a 40-minute train ride from Chicago, and we have 4 colleges nearby and also one of the best community colleges in the area.
All of which I had applied and been accepted to, and were more than willing to allow me to defer entry for a year and allow me to be a commuter student. But god forbid a teen, a parent, try to get a college degree and have AP credits, with good enough scores to not have to retake those classes.
There is nothing more I hate than when people ask me "did you plan it?"
How crazy do you think I am to want to have a kid at 18, especially seeing how hard I worked in high school! Who wants to waddle around, not fitting into any clothes, having to pee 1,234,567 times/day, and potentially miss my gradation (my due date is the week after) their senior year of high school?
Life never works how you expect it to.
Was your pregnancy unexpected? What event(s) in your life took you by surprise?