Tuesday, 19 July 2011
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Life Didn't Turn Out How I Expected It To, But I'm Still Going to Make It Mine
I am currently 18 years old. I'm graduating high school in 3 weeks, from a challenging program with honors and multiple AP credits. I got into every college I have applied to, with more than enough scholarships/FASFA money, to pay next to nothing to go to school.
I'm also 34 weeks pregnant.
Abortion was never an option for me. (Well it was but that's a really long story.) Not because, I have some big moral standing against it, but I simply found out I was pregnant too late to have that option. The further along I am, the happier I am that I didn't have that option.
The most logical thing to do, is adoption, but I can't. I guess I'm selfish, but I'm in love with my unborn child. I could not imagine handing off my baby to someone else. Even if they may provide a better life than I'm able to. I can still provide an okay life.
My boyfriend (the baby's father) and I are moving out in two weeks. We both have jobs, and my family is super supportive, and is willing to help as much as possible.I'm trying to avoid having to have government help, because for the most part, we are okay financially. We're not swimming in wealth, no one is right now, and I don't like the idea of someone else's money was forced away from them (taxes), and being used to pay for my mistakes. But if it comes down to it, and there no other options to feed my child, I'd swallow my pride for the time being and use something such as WIC.
Being in high school and pregnant is a struggle. Teen pregnancy is extremely common in my school, but it still doesn't make it any less hard. Every single person looks at you differently and you can feel them judging you, and you can hear them talking about you when they think you're not listening.I had a teacher question why I was bothering taking an AP test, assuming I wasn't still planning on going to college. I felt I had no need to explain the fact that we lived a 40-minute train ride from Chicago, and we have 4 colleges nearby and also one of the best community colleges in the area.
All of which I had applied and been accepted to, and were more than willing to allow me to defer entry for a year and allow me to be a commuter student. But god forbid a teen, a parent, try to get a college degree and have AP credits, with good enough scores to not have to retake those classes.
There is nothing more I hate than when people ask me "did you plan it?"
How crazy do you think I am to want to have a kid at 18, especially seeing how hard I worked in high school! Who wants to waddle around, not fitting into any clothes, having to pee 1,234,567 times/day, and potentially miss my gradation (my due date is the week after) their senior year of high school?
Life never works how you expect it to.
Was your pregnancy unexpected? What event(s) in your life took you by surprise?
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About the Author
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- From: Smileitsokay@xanga
- Name: Smileitsokay
- About Me: 17.
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Comments (14)
I'm nearly three months along with a pregnancy that wasn't planned. However, Corey and I have been together for nearly 5 years, live together, work full-time (he's 24, I'm 23), and we've been planning our wedding for the better part of a year and a half.
We were hoping to have a child post-wedding (October), but life had other plans. We're thrilled, to say the least. But our circumstances are much more forgiving than yours. I commend your dedication to your education. It won't be an easy road, but if you have the drive to do it, you'll be able to.
Cheers and all the best to you and your baby!
The tragedy of the article and the first response is enough to make one weep with grief....
I think it's great that you and your boyfriend have stepped up and taken responsibility of this life you both created! I'm sure there will be both difficult and wonderful times but it already sounds like you have a great support system and are aware of the challenges that will arise.
Best of luck to you and congratulations on your baby!
I am glad to hear that you have a lot of support and that you are taking this baby seriously. Many teens that I know that get pregnant think its going to be all roses and easy and that their life is not going to change. But it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. I sincerely hope all the best for you, and that those who have said they will support you keep their word.
There is only one thing that made me a little sad.. when you said " pay for my mistakes".. that baby is not a mistake, its an wonderful unexpected blessing. (I am sure you don't actually feel that way about this baby, but this is just coming from the HTC for 7 years and now foster-adopting momma).
I hope the very best for you and your new little family. I hope your boyfriend is the man he needs to be, and is a great daddy to that baby. But I also hope that you will not be too proud to reach out for help, there is never any shame in admitting you need a hand.
And to answer your questions.. infertility was not expected.. but being a foster-adopting momma is such an incredible blessing that I wouldn't have it any other way.
Blessings to your family.
@x_damaged_yet_unbroken_x@xanga - She wasn't saying it was going to be easy...
I am sorry so many people have asked you, "Did you plan this?" because I faced that question too. Good for you for standing up and doing whatever it takes to give your baby the best life possible. He or she will love you all the more because he or she will see all that you've done. Best of luck.
I was only 3 months pregnant at my graduation and it sucked because almost every one knew. I was extremely surprised when I found out I was pregnant, but I never really considered any option other than keeping my baby. I had been all set to go to university in the fall, scholarship and all, but unfortunately I still haven't made it. My daughter is almost 3, her father and I married a year ago and bought a home. We are so busy trying to make a living we don't even have time to think about going to school, but we both love our daughter very much and don't regret our decision.Â
I hope everything works out for you, I would definitely try to get to school as soon as you can, the longer you delay the harder it will be!I was 17 when I got pregnant, and 18 when I gave birth. I was a senior in high school, and two weeks after I found out I was pregnant, my mom's brain and lung cancer took her from us. So life definitely did not go the way I expected it to!
I think it is AWESOME that you want to keep going to school, and I applaud you for standing up for yourself and doing what you think is right. I graduated high school and took some college classes, but never pursued anything (but then again, I wasn't a fan of school!). My husband (and the father) has been there from day one, and I wish nothing but the best for you, your boyfriend, and that precious little baby!
My pregnancy wasn't planned, either. I was 21 and had dropped out of college, living with my boyfriend in an apartment. My life certainly isn't anywhere near how I'd planned it. But you learn to roll with the punches. I'm happy now that I've embraced what my life IS and not dwelling over what it ISN"T. I'm 23 married to a good man, we own our own 3 bedroom two bath house in a nice area of town, have a healthy and wonderful son, and are making ends meet. There is much to be thankful for and to work towards even if it isn't what I'd hoped. I still think about going to back to school one day, but for now, I just want to make sure everyone in my little family has what they need and that some wants are met. Plus, I'd rather save all that I earn for my son to go to college or as a nest egg, or even a rainy day. Who knows?
Hang in there and roll with it. You sound like you're taking it in good stride and know what you're up against. Keep your chin up and ENJOY life.
It sounds like your strong and positive attitude and your perserverance will carry you though any challenges you face in your life, including this transition from high school student to college student and teaanger to mother. Your words show a level of maturity that is often not found in most 18 year old individuals. your life may not be easy (whose really is?) but you sound willing to work to obtain the things that you want and your priorities are on those things that can't always be quantified (education, a happy loving and safe childhood for your baby). I believe you could do anything that you put your mind to. Ignore anyone who says otherwise if you believe it in your power to prove them wrong!
I am glad my mom did what you did. She was younger than you, though. It is good that your families are supportive because you will need it. My mom would not have been able to finish high school, get a college degree, etc without the support of her family. Despite the fact the odds were stacked against my parents they were successful in their lives.
My son was not planned, but I am on the opposite end of the spectrum from you. I was older and people had started asking me "when?". At the time it was never, but I am glad that I was wrong.
Good luck with everyhing. A child is ALWAYS a blessing. It's a bit of a struggle at times but it will only make you stronger in life. <3
Good luck to you and remember to continue in school until you're finished. You can do it! In my opinion, all babies are planned when you have unprotected sex. The first time could be the time you get pregnant. Get on a reliable form of birth control so you don't have any more kids until you are finished with school and a good career. You're in the right direction, so keep it up!