In light of the current baby-making circumstances, I've been doing a lot of reading, so has Corey (
@thought_tub). Amid the amazing discoveries like how quickly the cells divide and evolve into something more like an infant and less like an alien, one thing seems to crop up quite frequently.
Daddy-to-be gets left behind in a lot of ways. For some men, they have to deal with the uneven attention being paid. Mummy gets the spotlight, while he sits behind noting to the few who seem to listen that, "Hey, it's my kid, too." For others, this isn't an issue. What is however, is the draining state of things in general.
This is something Corey's been dealing with like a pro. I've been nauseous (some days, I feel like I'm only renting food). I've been moody, though I'm trying to stay level (but hey, if the restaurant of choice tells me their sold out of the soup that I can actually keep down, I am not above crying). But I've also been tired as hell. It's gotten to the point where a late night is 10:30, and the thought of keeping my eyes open a second longer is one too agonizing to bear.
And he's been by my side through all of it with a smile.
He's put up with my insanely (and rather sudden) picky eating habits. He's dealt with my over-emotional responses, and he's dealt with the silence at night as I fall asleep almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.
But it's draining for him. I know he'll do everything he can for me throughout everything because, in the end, it's our baby and he loves me. But I know that, for as stoic as he has been, it's wearing on him. Particularly the quiet nights. We used to stay up and talk or watch episodes of Dr. Who before calling it a night. I just haven't been able to, and I know he's feeling a little lonesome.
So I just want to say to Corey, and to all those daddies out there who've been put through the ringer by their prospective parenthood - thank you. Thank you for being there. Thank you for dealing with the moods and the picky eating and the food issues and fatigue.
Without you, it would be just unbearable all the way around.
What was your husband (baby's daddy) like during your pregnancy? How did his support help you get through the challenging times?
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Comments (15)
My husband put up with my shit. He deserves an award. I think I probably would have stabbed me (and ended up in a violent brawl with the pregnant version of myself).
My husband cleaned up my puke! Enough said! lol When you clean up anyones puke, that shows an incredible amount of love and selflessness!
Great post, btw!
This post made me tear up! I feel just like you (in terms of food and night time fatigue) and my hubby has been so patient and caring through everything.
Thanks so much for reminding me about daddy-to-be and how supportive he's been. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and that you feel better soon!
My husband is consistently enthusiastic every time we have a baby. He reminds me why we're so excited for each new life. And he gets downright giggly at the prospect of playing with our kids. :) He supports me by enjoying his role as father and daddy (which are two different things, IMO).
And in recent years, he's finally caught on that he can cut me a little slack with the fatigue thing. lol, he's not the most compassionate of men. ;)
~V
@Brilliant_Innocence@xanga - lol Shawn had to do this too in the first tri for me :D
My hubby has been amazing through out my pregnancy and I still have another 3 days to go :) I don't know if I could have handled myself if I was in his situation, but he did it like a pro. One thing I have to give him major props for (especially lately) is getting up at 2am to to make me some crushed ice to suck on
I was in labor for 25 hours. My fiance stayed by my side the entire time (aside from 1 or 2 bathroom breaks and to eat once, he didn't want to do it in front of me).... except for about 20 seconds where he told me he was tired and needed to sit down (I was pushing). I gave him one look and he jumped to his feet and was there for me.
I don't know what I would have done without him. He was fantastic.
Aww that's so nice of you to thank him, I think we kind of forget that we get all the attention and they are kind of left behind in it all. My husband was GREAT during my pregnancy. He put up with all my crazy mood swings, a lot of foot rubs, which I was soooo grateful for. He got me what ever I wanted, when ever I wanted. I was very spoiled.
my husband was great until we got to the NICU then he went bonkers. The NICU is scary and your never prepared. I think we grew apart from it but we fought to get our marriage back and it will never happen again. We know what to expect. I learned a happy medium. He learned more then I can even think to type. I have the worst luck with pregnancies. I have a 34.5wk a 32wk and 28.5wkr :(
I had mine 35 and 32 years ago with my first husband, and he was not supportive at all. I sucked it up, puked daily, went to work, and just somehow got through it. Try to be honest and verbal about your feelings, and then give him 5 minutes to talk or vent. My son's going through it with his wife right now, and he's in school full time and working full time. I have completely stayed out of their issues. But I do feel like there are appropriate ways to work through even the moodiness and exhaustion, because, we all know, after the baby is born, it gets much worse before it gets better. A little tenderness, willingness to be honest and share, and give some credit where it's due probably makes it easier.
my hubby has been wonderful; before, during, and now after.
i found a good way to say "thanks for loving me and helping me with this" is some.......special lovin' (when you feel up to it). sometimes for us it was full on intercourse, other times i just took care of him (because after all, he had been taking care of me).
I haven't had kids yet, but I know that good dads need more recognition. Having kids does tend to end up being all about Mommy. Daddy needs love, too!
Of course I had to REC this in support of you, Corey and good Dads everywhere.
I'm 17 weeks pregnant tomorrow and my husband has been AMAZING throughout. One minute I'm excited and happy and then another I'm feeling defeated and crying.. he holds me through it and only asks what he can do for me. He never says too much or too little and he has SO much patience. He has the most amazing husband-daddy intuition I don't know how he does it!!
Mines is great, but being that he works 3rd shift and we already have 3, now preggo with the 4rth.... well you get the picture. Some days I'm just not there. And sometimes I don't know if that is what I want at all. I'm actually really stressed to be honest.
some guys dont deserve any respect at all.. and im glad moms get the spotlight. because moms have no choice but to stay, (which hopefully they would anyway!)
but dads leave, and it doesnt jeopardize the baby's health. dads leave all the time.so congrats to the lucky girls that found good guys, but there's a lot of douchebags that don't deserve to be called a father.