Monday, 20 June 2011
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Fathers' Day is a Little Stupid
To the population of children and adults who have grown up with loving fathers who have been ever so involved in their lives, Fathers' Day is not stupid.
Fathers' Day is a little stupid because - there is quite a large population of children and adults who have lived their entire lives with deadbeats. Having a celebratory day is only rubbing this in. Living with a deadbeat does not mean these children do not love their deadbeats; it only puts cause for celebration on indefinite hold.
Fathers' Day is a little stupid because - the fathers who are not deadbeats never get what they ask for. While mothers get nice loving cards and thoughtful gifts for Mothers' Day: Fathers' get a manly lunch or a tie with LED lights.
Fathers' Day is a little stupid because - History and Travel takes it upon themselves to get inside a father's head and try to decide what kind of television program they enjoy. I assure you Travel: not all fathers are obsessed with Man V Food.
Fathers' Day is a little stupid because - while a good population of children and adults do not experience deadbeats, they do experience detached fathers who they do not know much about and do not feel an ounce of love radiating from their body.
Thus: Fathers' Day is a Little Stupid.
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About the Author
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- From: GingerAvenger@xanga
- Name: Valerie
- Location: Roanoke, Texas, United States
- About Me: I teach English.
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Comments (120)
There are deadbeat mothers too, yet you only attack Fathers' Day.
And as we all know, all mothers are invariably saintly and holy, never remain emotionally distant from their children, and never, ever abandon them.
What was the point of this post, exactly?
In this age of father-bashing by Hollywood (how often does an animated Disney film even depict an intelligent, well adjusted, and actively engaged father??), by the mass media, and by gender-oriented special interest groups, I think the notion of demeaning Father's Day (but not Mother's Day) is just another step in marginalizing the ideal of fatherhood and giving society more reason to push fathers farther out of the mainstream family.
I saw something someone else wrote in a comment about a blog also bashing father's day (and fathers). They commented that there is a big difference between a father and a sperm donor. I agree wholeheartedly with that statement.
Yesterday was a day to celebrate fathers.
Im really sick of people bashing fathers this is gettng old i avoided commenting before I agree with@yourkbear@xanga - which is totally correct. I think there are crappy moms and dads but i think both deserve days
To the author - why do you have so many names here on momaroo? I suspect your involvement here. GingerAvenger, CottonParchment, RedHeadRenegade, just to name a few.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Love your comment.
Yes, the post was very one-sided and biased, but it's a personal post. Not every one is going to be well rounded. And I personally resonate with the post because my father is very detached from me, by his own choice. "Father bashing" is not a trend... it's anger from the kids who don't have fathers there for them. You ask any one of those daughters or sons with deadbeat dads if they would like for their father to have BEEN there, truly BEEN there, not just existed in their lives - been active participants, and see how many say YES, I wish it'd played out like that! Nobody wants a pity party!
There are deadbeat mothers AND fathers, yet there should still be the days to celebrate the good and awesome ones.
Also, not all fathers "don't get what they want". A lot do. Just like mothers don't "get everything they want". That's not correct at all.
I had a dead beat father who was abusive, but my husband is an amazing father so, no, father's day isn't a little stupid.
@Brilliant_Innocence@xanga - Grew up the same and now my husband is a wonderful father! I understand how the O.P. feel's though. It's like canceling a family vacation when only one of your kid's failed a class... It's not fair to all the other one's.
I can not believe that some of these sperm donors that call themselves dad's and want their children to be be with them on this one day but forget that it means they are supposed to be fathers the whole year each year for life.
I think someone has some daddy issues...
I spent Father's Day letting my fiance know what a great dad he is. Not about giving him a tie with LED lights or watching any TV let alone Man vs. Food.
Father's Day doesn't have to be about gifts and mushy cards..... it is about celebrating paternal love and the amazing job a man does as a father. Just as Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about chocolate and mushy cards... it is about expressing your love to your partner. Sure... you can argue that you should do this every single day and not on some glorified "holiday"... but it is nice to take the time and say, "I love you and thank you for everything you do."
Thus: Father's Day is a little stupid only if you let it be a little stupid.
My dad is definitely not a deadbeat father.
I asked my dad what he wanted for Father's day but got, "You're my daughter. you're hardworking, smart, beautiful, special, one of a kind, and incredible. I've got 4 kids and a wonderful wife, what more do I need?" We replaced his crappy old phone and bought him a cake and made cards. I'm fairly certain he cried a little.
I LOVE man v. food.
My father is not detached. He is caring and silly. That is how he shows his love.
There are wonderful fathers out there, just like there are wonderful mothers. There are bad dads just like there are bad moms. Both holidays are a little stupid because we should always celebrate our parents--not just for one day.
As a former single mom who was raising a child who wanted a father for Father's Day, I resent this post. I'm married now and we now get to celebrate father's Day and we love it! My daughter LOVED making her father his tool box at Home Depot and LOVED picking out his Father's Day card, etc. etc. Father's Day isn't stupid and not all fathers are detached and btw, to hell with you for dissing man v. Food, I love that show! We live in a world where we believe fathers are an accessory, like a handy purse or your fav. pair of earrings but they are more than that! I saw a lot of FB posts from fathers who felt rejected b/c people don't make as much fuss over Father's Day as they do on Mother's Day. We should make a fuss for the ones who deserve it and just be thankful for good parents, moms and dads.
This post is a little stupid.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - CottonParchment is a creative page for poetry or fictional stories. This is an editorial/personal page. RedHedRenegade is a little girl. I'm a high school Language Arts and History teacher. We teachers need to vent somehow...
@cocainecupcakes28@xanga - Use your brain and think about the people who never had the luxury of a father. It's a holiday of rejoicing in the unknown. Man V Food is disgusting - is eating a 7lb burrito is some kind of accomplishment?
Your comment is a little stupid.
Yea.. this post is a little stupid.
Stop buying your dad crappy gifts, and if you dont have one, this holiday does not involve you so suck it up, cupcake. The guys who ARE genuinely awesome providers, protectors, and selfless men and fathers deserve the acknowledgement at very least.
what's your mother like? i'm sure she's a fine, accomplished woman.
@GingerAvenger@xanga - no one cares about your opinion of man v. food. maybe you should talk to someone who won't judge you about your daddy issues. clearly, this is not the place for it.
my mom's a bitch. what are you gonna do? you don't get to pick your family. my dad is my best friend, and has helped shape me into a confident and happy person. also, i made my dad a really cool gift. i got up before church and made him a "cyclops," which is an egg inside of a pancake...so boom! dad loved it because he knew that i put a lot of thought and effort into it, not because i felt obligated.
I like how there are plenty of posts about how father's day is stupid because some people have deadbeat dad's, while there were none about deadbeat moms. They're out there.
I'm getting kind of sick of all of these posts about deadbeat dad's. What can you do about it? You're born into the family you have for a reason. Get over it and deal with it. Yes it's sad. It's very sad, but there really is nothing you can do about it except reach out. If you have a deadbeat dad, you can be the one to reach out. Be the better person.
@vetpet91@xanga - I felt really bad because I completely forgot about father's day. I almost cried actually. I felt so horrible. We ended up watching a Tornado documentary though (he loves everything about tornadoes for some reason).
And I forgot about mother's day too. I used a CD and Piano book I got her at a Chris Tomlin concert as her gift.
Yea. This year is not my year for remembering special days.....
And I love your attitude towards family. Yea, we don't get to chose the family we have. All we can do is work with what we've got.
Ummm I'm not so sure about this. It's a day to celebrate good fathers, not to dwell on bad ones.
What about deadbeat moms? And who says dads always get shitty presents? We always pick out thoughtful things for my dad. He constantly rewatches episodes of Firefly when it comes on SciFy so we bought him the DVD set with unreleased episodes and everything so he can watch them whenever he wants to. Last year we got him a really nice bench to put in his garden and by our chicken coop because he likes to go and tend the chickens and he really likes the bench. Bad presents? I think nawt.
The same could be said about Mother's Day and deadbeat mom's. I grew up with a deadbeat dad and I don't feel that Father's Day "rubs" anything in.