It stems from not having a good relationship with my father; both in the past and the present his life has mostly been of one working and staying away from the family, with the exception of 2 weeks in the summer. Due to this absence of him in our lives, in my life...I have been looking elsewhere ever since.
Lately it has gotten worse, and by that I mean my desire to have a father has been more intense and sometime my envy just consumes me completely. What usually happens is that I observe a father and his interaction alone, is he a good guy when his wife and kids aren't around?
I eventually observe them in the presence of their wife and kids and see how they do in that area... For the record most of the people I have dad envy over are men I interact with at my various churches, it's not like I'm a a park sitting in my car with a pair of binoculars.
Although related and yet on a separate note, there's the part of me that also wants to be a father to 4 children. God willing and wife willing
I woke up this morning after a 3 hour dream of helping my future June deliver our first born son, I got to hold him and in that instance both subconsciously and in real life I was smiling and crying at the same time.
God knows my heart and my mind, my desires and my shortcomings and I'm trusting in him and praying with my eyes open; that is, I'm doing what I can to find my June and trusting in him all the while with my future as a husband and dad. I do pray quite often for reconciliation with my own father, but I also pray for a good father-in-law.
I don't think it's conflicting to pray for both, but God certainly knows that I would like both if given a choice, because I've had my fair share of things that I learned the hard way to which I can attribute some of it to having an absent father in my life.
In God's timing for being a husband as well as being a father. I'm looking for you June, are you looking for me?
~Nathanael~
Do you have good relationships with your fathers? Do you have dad envy? How do you cope?
True
Comments (12)
Yep, I have an excellent relationship with my father. I think it's important or any form of male-role model in your life.
I have Dad envy at poignant times in my life. Like Father's Day, my wedding day, things of that nature. Why do I have it? Because my father died in our front yard when I was 20. I helped to unsuccessfuly do cpr on him for a long time.
I'm sorry your relationship with your father is bad. At least he is still around to reconcile with. Don't miss the opportunities you still have by wishing things were different or that he was different. He is not only your father, but he is his own person as well. Maybe there's a reason he emerses himself into his work. Regretting that things aren't how you wish they were might make you miss what you actually have.
I miss my dad a lot. My parents live in India and I only get to see him maybe 5 or 6 days out of the year. He does love me a lot but there's a huge gap and with all the emphasis on Father's day, it can be difficult. I definitely have father envy but at the same time, my husband has a father who mentally/emotionally abused him as a child so I am grateful for what I do have.
Asking for a good wife and to be a good father are very noble things. It'll probably happen faster and be a lot smoother if it isn't your only focus. If you're desperate for those things you might end up trying to get married too fast or marrying the first girl who wants kids...and although she meets your relationship criteria, she may miss the mark on a lot of other things.
Just take things slowly, enjoy yourself and what's going on in your life now and she might just pop up when you least suspect it.
I have awful dad envy, although some days it is worse than others.
I have a pretty extraordinarily bad relationship with my father and it's to a point where I don't even consider myself to have a father at all. He really is dead to me.
@Joobie82@xanga - Thank you for your 2 cents, I am taking my time in the process of looking for my June but sometimes my emotions get the better of me and I want all that NOW. But, in God's timing, I'll have what my heart desires :)
@Japanesenightpurplegeisha@xanga - Thank you for your 2 cents in this matter :)
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Thank you for your 2 cents in this matter. I think given time and distance we might reconcile, but nowadays the light's on but no one is home. I make steps forward he retreats
but in time, God willing! 
@lifeonacitybusem4@xanga - I feel that way at times myself, but I don't want to vocalize that because he did that when he was my age, what I'm dealing with (absent father) is a 4-5 generation old problem on his side of the family. It's up to me to end it once and for all.
i definitely have a little bit of dad envy. my father and i are not talking to do some situations. i just hope that one day, if i ever have children, that their father will always be there for them. no matter what. but as for now, i just listen to others stories about their fathers and their stories. they are fun to hear.
I feel the same when I see Dad's and Mom's with their children.
I don't know who my dad is, and i have never had a father figure in my 20 years of living. So yes, you could say i have daddy issues.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - I understand where you are coming from I had alot of problems with my father growing up and being one of 12 children didn"t make it any better,but i did not like my father for a long time and i realize now that was the reason i was acting out was because of my father and my mother.They had problems so they took it out on us to get at eachother.I love my father he"s my only father i wish we could have had better childhood memorys, I just make the best of it now and I don"t know what I would do with out him ,so please make the best of the time you have with your mom,dad,friends life is so short.................Have A Great NIght God Bless