Wednesday, 01 June 2011
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Would You....?
I was surfing around my universal inbox and saw some rec'd comments about religious posts and blah blah blah. You know, the typical argument that is seen around Xanga when it comes to religion.
It got me thinking about something.
Would you be able to be with someone who did not believe the same things that you do, in reference to religion? What if you fell in love with someone, just to find out that they don't share the religious preferences that you have? Could you stay with them or would you end it?
Would you try to convert them? Possibly convert yourself?
How would you celebrate certain holidays with different beliefs, if you stayed together? If you had children, would you raise them in both religions or educate your child of all religions and let them make their own choice?
Tell me, Xanga, would you???
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- From: StorySeldomTold@xanga
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Comments (31)
I was raised baptist. We were 100% taught to only marry someone who was also "saved". It was quite a big deal, if one didn't.
When I met my husband, we talked about it and we did share beliefs in God, however, he was raised Seventh Day Adventist.
That's basically what we are. We go to a Seventh Day Adventist Church and we take our daughter there. For a long time, we just didn't go to church. I'm new to it, but we just go to church on Saturday and, so far, that's the only difference I've found, lol. But, like I said, that's because I'm new to it, still. Even though, we've been married for 4 years now.
That doesn't answer all of the questions, but that's just been my experience.
I wouldn't be with an extremist from either side. I try my best to avoid the crazies.
Religion is not an ultimatum for me... I try to keep an open mind. I do how ever believe what I believe and try to base that off of what I feel is truth.
My husband and I raise our child teaching her what we believe but we also teach her that not every one believes the same thing. If she has questions when she is older we will look into them together... Not just through what we here from others who share our beliefs but from people who are a different religion.
We both believe it is completely up to our Children when they are adults to make a choice on religion or lack of and will not condemn or pressure them into following our own choices or beliefs.
I could not be in a relationship with a deeply religious person. They generally have socially conservative stances that are at opposites with my own and the scientific consensus, and I could not allow myself to submit to such irrational nonsense. It would be asking me to do something contrary to the evidence, which is just batshit insane, if you ask me. It'd destroy me if I were to get involved with someone, only for them to do something stupid due to their religious beliefs that cause harm to themselves or our potential children and their future. I couldn't forgive myself, so its not an option. I do know of a couple who are both agnostic, but one is culturally religious and wants to bring up their children in religious schools, which is causing tension in their relationship. Their argument is that "they turned out fine", but all of their school friends are deeply religious, so the success rate is low and therefore the argument is weak
.
There'd be no second date. I'd have to find out on the first, if not before. If you don't believe in the same things, then most likely the deepest leading emotion is pure lust for flesh (merely mistaken as something more).
I am Catholic, but my boyfriend is agnostic. It's a little difficult at times when it comes to certain issues, but he respects my religious views for the most part. If I were to have children, I would want to raise them Catholic as well. I can only hope that the person I ultimately end up will be okay with my choice.
In Islam a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man as her Muslim status would be affected. In Islam children take the religion of the father, therefore if a Muslim woman married a non-Muslim man her children would be whatever the father's religion (or lack of religion) is. Even when I was a Christian I took the bible verse that says "do not unequally yoke yourselves with the disbeilevers" very seriously and didn't believe in mixing religions as it confuses the children wehn their mom is a different religion than themselves and their father.
I would just be openminded. Im not very religious anyway. I believe in God & thats pretty much it, actually im like religious stupid lol. Its just cause I never went to church as a child and when i got older i just didnt know what church to go to because I never knew what religion I was. But my SO is very christian so I just say Im christian too.
The bible says not to marry ''unevenly yoked people'' so I wouldn't date a non-christian- I want to be with someone who is really deep in their faith but unfortunately I'm not quite there myself yet. If there was no rule about it I'm sure I could be happy with an accepting Athiest or Agnostic, just no extremists. Its pretty annoying, I get hassled by extreme Christians and extreme Athiests- sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone!(My favourite people tend to be Agnostics they seem to be the most open minded and accepting people I know, although I'm best friends with an Athiest as we have similar values and beliefs about other things and there are lots of Christians I really admire).
1 Corinthians 7:14- For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
Ahh, instead of negativity and denial of another person of a differing religion I go by this verse. Yes, I would date someone with a completely different religion as me so long as they respect my decision to remain Christian. Any children would be presented with both sides and allowed to choose. It's silly to force any religion on another person, even your own child.
@xstephnz@xanga - The Bible also says... 1 Corinthians 7:14- For the unbelieving
husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made
holy through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean,
but as it is, they are holy.
No, there is no way I would marry someone who did not share my beliefs. Marriages are hard enough without adding conflicting beliefs to the mess.
I would never marry a person who didn't share the same values and belief system that I did. And I don't think you can fall in love with a person without knowing what those values and beliefs are. And, being that love is a measurable feeling based on those very same values and beliefs that make up a person, I don't see how it's possible, if both parties are sincere in what they profess to believe.
Not only that, but let's just pretend you are a Christian who marries an atheist. How do you marry someone who you don't believe will be with you in heaven? If you're the atheist, how do you marry someone whose beliefs you think are silly and misguided at best? If you're a Muslim, how do you marry an infidel? If you're Jewish, how do you marry a Gentile? I think it's either got to be: A) You don't believe that your way is the true and right way, meaning that you don't really believe your religion, or B) You are confusing lust and loneliness with love and open-mindedness.
If I really loved someone who was Jewish, Seventh Day-Whatever, Catholic, Christian, or Sikh, I would be open to it--as long as they weren't extreme or walking around with an elitist, condescending attitude constantly making religion an issue. If he was Atheist, Shinto or Buddhist I guess that wouldn't be a deal breaker.
But I wouldn't be able to stay with someone who was Muslim because it's just too much of a difference in how I would want to live and what the people in the religion expect. Islam would be a deal breaker.
So, with exception to Islam, I guess it depends on how they share their religion. How they talk about it and what they expect after they've told you they disagree with something they believe.
I was raised christian and the male I am with is Hindu, we have managed to make it work just fine. My belief now is more "spiritual" why is his God wrong and mine right? Why can't both be the same one God with different traditions. If God is omnipresent why can't he be celebrated in many different ways?
Well If I'd have kids, I'd educate them about the different religions in the world so they won't be innocent about their customs. But for me, I wouldn't really want exactly my children in the future to have a religion but a relationship w/ God
My boyfriend is a Christian, I am not. We're usually good unless he starts to preach at me, which has only been once. I don't want to be converted, so I don't try to convert him.
If we ever have kids, I can see that becoming an issue...but I would like to let our kids decide for themselves what they want to believe and would hope he would be in agreement on that.
umm well i was a christian for 21 years.. i left the religion cuz the bible is full of contradictions.. doesn't connect with science.. and the author is unknown.. lol.. even the books that claim moses wrote them.. describe moses himself dying.. how can moses write when he dead.. so bible is full of lies.. but i would let my children study christianity fully and jews and muslims.. i could only be wit a person that believes in reality.. not fairy tells.. so it would have to be a muslim woman or one that thinks like one.. since islam foretold alot of things barely discovered in science long time ago.. and makes sense.. and is wit reality.. not fairy tales.. so worship the creator.. Allah.. all praises to him.. and blessing to his prophets.. Jesus, Adam, Muhammad and the rest..
I'm an atheist. I could have a relationship with someone of anyone religion, although I would not be converted. I would try to enlighten them, but I would not care if they stayed with their beliefs.
I couldn't do it. I decided that after witnessing my parents' marriage fail (and mny others) and after dating someone whose values were way different from mine and saw my faith as a source of annoyance. That is unbendable for me and whomever doesn't understand that just doesn't understand me.
I was raised Catholic but have basically fallen out with it and have considered converting to Buddhism. My boyfriend was raised about the same way and while he is still Christian, his views are a little mixed. He respects my religious differences and I respect his. As long as you and your SO can respect each others differences and don't try to push your beliefs on the other, I think it could work.
my boyfriend and I both grew up in christian families and feel that we have been essentially brainwashed so that even though we are now both agnostic we still think of things within a christian perspective. when we are married and have kids we are going to try to teach them about different kinds of religions and then let them choose for themselves what they would like to believe. I don't care what my kids believe in as long as it's their own choice and i didn't influence it.
I could be happy with a partner who followed just about any of the Eastern religions, but not someone who followed any of the major Western ones. Wicca, Scientology, Satanism, any cults, and just about all of the ancient religions (Egyptian, Greek, Mayan, Norse, etc.) would also be deal-breakers. Deism would probably be okay. I'd be most happy with an agnostic, atheist, Jain or Buddhist. Thankfully, my boyfriend is agnostic, as am I. We think similarly about most things concerning religion. If we ever have kids, I'd expose them to all sorts of different religious and philosophical beliefs.
It depends on their beliefs and whether or not they are willing to make
the relationship work regardless of the differences. My boyfriend and I
are different religions and we have discussed how we are going to raise
our children (if it ever even came to having any) along those lines.
It's definitely going to be up to the children to find whatever faith
works for them. However, there are some religions that I just don't
think I'd be able to tolerate. Westboro Church, or Scientology for
example. I am definitely not the converting type and I am definitely not going to be converted as faith is a very personal thing. We would also have to come to some sort of compromise when it comes to which holidays to celebrate but if both people keep an open mind, I don't see this feat being difficult to do.
Besides, the in-laws will be celebrating their respective holidays so if we visit them, we won't be missing out on either.