Monday, 30 May 2011
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Not Going to College
My parents didn't really mind if I went to college or not. They didn't go themselves: my dad went to a trade high school and my mom eventually got a associates degree, so I guess they figured if I didn't go it wouldn't be a big deal.
I really did want to go, however, and they didn't stop me and helped me as much as I could.
Now I have two little sisters, ages 11 and 8. You would think in this day and age, and with their older sister in college, they would automatically just want to go. But they don't, and even at this young age they're asking things like "Do I really need to go to college? What jobs can I get if I don't go to college?"
I mean, I guess I like how they're asking about jobs, so they're not just expecting to find a man with money and get by that way, but I still find it a bit odd neither of them really want to go to college.
I know they're still young, and minds change, but when I was little college was just never a question in my mind. I wanted to go because I wanted to get all the school I could.
Do you think it's bad that they have no interest in going, even at this young age where they're free to dream about whatever they want?
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- From: raspberryjade@xanga
- About Me: observations of a recovering optimist.
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Comments (53)
Eh, I think thats pretty normal I guess? I dont really know. My children dont really have a choice, i am going to make them go to college (if they dont want to) and get a job before hand so they can save up on top of what I will already have for them. Simply because my mom didnt do that for me, she didnt really care about schooling at all. At 18 I already regret what happened and resent my mom because she never put importance on school. When in reality, it is really important and good for you.
I was basically forced to go and wish I hadn't. I knew I just wanted to be a wife and mommy and now I am with $16,000 student loans. I do not think everyone should go.
There is a paradigm shift in the system now: College is the new high school, and graduate school is the new college. Everyone has a bachelor's and going to college is almost more of something-you-have-to-do than something-you-should-do. Ergo, upon getting a bachelor's, it's almost expected you will go on to get master's. Even engineers are told to get master's.
Point being, if you go to college, you better be prepared to tack on an extra two years to get a degree greater than a bachelor's.
As for your sisters, 11 and 8 are really young ages to be committing to the idea of college. Let them be kids. Maybe when they're 15-16 years old they can consider it, but right now is way too young to considering a future career.
Unless they are Asian. Then they should be studying for their MCATs by now.
I don't think its that bad. I remember when I was in third grade I set out to decide what I wanted to be (I might've been younger, even). I wrote up a list of all the jobs I wanted, including a seamstress, a novelist, a veterinarian, a classical musician, a chef, and a few other things. I then began crossing things off the list because I either wanted to do one of the others more, or the income wasn't stable enough to regularly/easily support myself, etc. I ended up with veterinarian, and thats still the path I'm headed on. I can't really speak truthfully because I've been on that path for 12 years, but if I had decided I wanted to be a seamstress, then who knows...maybe I wouldn't have came to college?
Who knows, maybe it just takes them to decide what career they want to realize maybe they do need to go to college.
I don't think it's an issue right now. All I wanted to do when I was little was be a stay at home mom. I still want that. The only reason I'm in school right now is because my parents want me to go. My boyfriend and I have had a lot of discussions about school for me. We're going to get married after he graduates next may. As of right now I still have 2.5 years left. We've talked about it and right now I have no intent of taking any kind of hormonal birth control. I don't know how I feel about it, and there are health risks that come with it. My mom took it and she had no problems getting pregnant after going off, but I'm really not comfortable with taking the risk. So the chances of me getting pregnant before I graduate from college are high. I'm praying that I won't because I wouldn't mind getting my degree, but once I start having kids I'm going to stop going to school, working, and my life will be about my family.
What I'm trying to say is, I've always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I still do. I'm only in school to get a degree just in case I need one in the future. But if kids come before I get that degree, I'm done with school until they're done with school.
I haven't changed my mind since I was a little girl. People do change their minds, but make sure they know what they want.
I've always said that you should find something that you like to do and get good at it....then do it. Wether or not that means going to college.
I wandered for about two years thinking I didn't want to/need to go to college. Truth be told, I was making a pretty good amount of money for that age, but I didn't want to be 30 wondering what life would have been like to be a college graduate. If they're that young, they should really be encouraged to think that school is a GOOD thing. They need to be able to properly weigh the pros and cons, and not just influenced by their parents' lifestyle.
It really pisses me off when people say college is a waste. It's not at all. In my opinion it makes you a more rounded, sociable, professional person. It gives you a lot of skills you'd never learn on your own. I wanted to go to college as long as I could remember, even if my college dreams seemed far fetched (such as going to Harvard law school or California for photography). And know what? no one believed I would make it to college. I had not many people pushing me to go until I was older. I just wanted to prove someone with a learning disability could make it extremely far in life. To this day I even believe I can make it through law school and I will.
Children are very in tune with the ways of the world, and yeah it might be a bit sad that they don't aspire to further their education (and inevitably make more money). Then again at that age my parents were already talking about college to me and kind of pushing me into going to engineering fields.
I NEVER wanted to go to college, when I was 9 my sister was in college but it still didn't make me want to go.
I'm 24 now, I didn't graduate high school, but I have a very good career at a well known university in HR. Their minds will change back and forth, but in the end, it's their choice.
no, I don't think so. my little brother would always say he didn't want to go to college when he was around those ages and now that he's grown up (16 years old), he's realized that unless you go to college, you'll be living from pay check to pay check. he knows that it's really important to go to college and he looks forward to it.
College isn't a sacred cow... let's not worship at it's altar. I wish I would have waited to go to school until after I had worked for a while and knew what I wanted to do, rather than waste time and money.
I grew up thinking the only plausible thing to do after high school was go to college. I'm still in school, trying to get my degree, but I realize that I'm doing it to make my parents proud. Don't me wrong, I love learning, but I've come to realize it's not something everybody wants or even needs.
They're 8 and 11 years old: they don't know what they want. They won't for a long time and hell, some people never, ever figure it out.
@StatelessPilot@revelife - Two flaws in that "story". One, the people who don't go to college are rarely the people who will invest in stocks and such. Not saying it never happens, just that it's much less likely to happen. Then there's the real problem, which is that if you make that little money, you don't HAVE 5% to save each year. You'll be lucky just to pay the bills and stay alive, let alone consider saving anything. Have you ever lived on that little money? I have - and that was with a bit of savings going into it and you have NO money to even think of buying anything with, let alone save anything.
Yes, 5% is the national average. However, you have to realize that middle-class and above are doing most of that saving (with the really wealthy doing the majority of that) and the lower class saving nothing.
Regarding your comment about never using college - well, that wasn't because your math degree(s) weren't useful or that you couldn't have had a good career, it's because you chose to become a pilot. That's more of a warning to decide what you want to do before investing a lot of money than a warning against going to college =)
I have no intention of going and I've graduated from high school in 08'. It's not for everyone. They are still young. When they get older, hopefully they will figure out what they wanna do but if not, it's fine. They have all their lives to do it.
My children will be encouraged to go to college. Well for our sons that won't be an option as they'll need a college degree back home in order to support their families, Saudi women won't marry a man if he doesn't have money. With our daughters hopefully they follow my example. I don't want them to be like the uneducated girls of home where they get married and quit middle school upon marriage (common in the villages) or only go until high school (common in the cities among the more educated girls). I don't want my girls thinking they have to marry over and over again to secure their future like is common back home among the girls and their brothers won't be alive forever and neither will we.
i didn't have an interest in going because i didn't have a specific goal i knew i wanted to work toward. i didn't buy into the whole "go to college to explore new things and decide what you want to do" bit. that's a really expensive decision making process. when i finally did find what i wanted to do i went and got my associates degree. but the point is i don't see any problem with not being interested in college just because it's there.
@bittersweetreflections@xanga - that's not necessarily true. if you have drive and ambition, you can work your way up in the world without a college degree. also, a lot of people with college degrees still live paycheck to paycheck. don't buy in so hard to the formula for life.
it's a bit concerning, but like you said, theyre young. i would encourage them to go though, because the job market is changing so rapidly that it's hard to say what job will and will not be available without a college degree when they are old enough to work. the way i see it, having a college education is a safety net, at least.
Explain to them why college is beneficial, and you'll surely change their minds. That is unless they find a rich man (what a joke), and/or they don't mind working oppressive unskilled jobs. By all means.
Yes, it is. An education is the one thing nobody can ever take away from someone, and it is invaluable. Going to college is (and was, for me) a wonderful experience. I am hoping that their attitudes will change...
When i was younger i wanted to go to college for like 20 years & get a Masters (yeaaaaa) in Everything. Needless to say, things change. Don't pressure them or they definitely won't want to go. But yes, they're very young & it's their lives so at the moment this really shouldn't be a worry in your head.
Not bad at all. College isn't for everyone. Plus this economy sucks so bad there are so many people who don't even use their degree and there are so many financial aid opportunities that just about EVERYONE goes and that no longer makes a bachelors degree special and that is why you need a masters degree for everything, even teaching which is ridiculous...
Someone will always have to do the jobs that won't need a degree.