"Don't feel guilty if the desire to have a baby isn't there. A lot of women think there's something wrong with them if they don't want to have a family. There isn't."
I feel like there's something wrong with me. I don't know how much I can believe Dr. Phil...
So I'll try a quiz
"You are 73% ready for a baby!"
"You are almost ready to have a baby. Your situation in life means that you are comfortable and happy which is ideal when planning to have a baby. You will not need to change your whole life for your new arrival as it will adapt easily."
I don't think I agree...maybe I should try another one
..."Your Result: You might be ready. Before you make a final decision, you should have a serious discussion about it with your family and doctor."
Hmmm...maybe this quiz thing isn't going to work out either.
I just see so many people having babies right now and trying to have babies (my friend Catherine is due soon, Erin is due on my anniversary, Rachel is trying, 10 people just HAD new babies). It's weird being at this age. My family (and Stephen's) are starting to do the *nudge, nudge* when-ya-gonna-have-one thing and I just feel WEIRD about it.
I don't think I have the desire to have a baby. I see the process of putting yourself through pregnancy as horrible and terrifying. Then there's the fact that you give up THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. That scares me too.
I must be a terribly selfish person to feel that way, but I can't see giving up everything just to have a kid. I want to travel. I want to go out when I want to go out. I want to sleep when I want to sleep. I want to have money to shop and fix up our house. I want to make love to my husband on OUR time, and I don't want to have to worry about another human being COMPLETELY dependent upon me.
I don't know how moms do it. It's amazing. And I don't think I want it.
But then, I see a cute kid at church or Stephen will make a comment about what our kids might be like or I'll say something about how "If that was MY kid, I'd..." and I wonder. What am I missing out on? Am I missing out on anything? The things that make me happiest right now are Stephen, Zoey (my dog), my friends, my family, my free time and my job.
I don't know. I know I've had this conversation with myself before. I'm TOTALLY not ready. I'm TOTALLY not comfortable with it. And I feel like there are more drawbacks than benefits to having kids.
But I still wonder...How do you KNOW when/if you want to have baby???