Tuesday, 03 May 2011
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Taking (Birth) Control of Your Life
"The newest development in male contraception was unveiled recently at the American's Women's Surgical Symposium held at Ann Arbor Medical Center. Dr. Sophia Merkin, of the Merkin Clinic, announced the preliminary findings of a study conducted on 763 unsuspecting male grad students at a large Midwestern university. In her report, Dr. Merkin stated that the new contraceptive- the IPD -was a breakthrough in male contraception. It will be marketed under the trade name "Umbrelly."
The IPD (intrapenal device) resembles a tiny folded umbrella that is inserted through the head of the penis and pushed into the scrotum with a plunger-like instrument. Occasionally, there is perforation of the scrotum, but this is disregareded, since it is known that the male has few nerve endings in this area of his body. The underside of the umbrella contains a spermicidal jelly, hence the name "Umbrelly."
Dr. Merkin declared the Umbrelly to be statistically safe for the human male.She reported that of the 763 grad students tested with the device, only two died of scrotal infection, only twenty experienced swelling of the tissues. Three developed cancer of the testicles, and thirteen were too depressed to have an erection. She states that common complaints ranged from cramping and bleeding to acute abdominal pain. She emphasized that these symptoms were merely indications that the man's body had not yet adjusted to the device. Hopefully the symptoms will disappear within a year.
One complication caused by the IPD and briefly mentioned by Dr. Merkin was the incidence of massive scrotal infection necessitating the surgical removal of the testicles. "But this is a rare case," said Merkin, "too rare to be statistically important." She said the other distinguished members of the Women's College of Surgons agreed that the benefits far outweighed the risk to any individual man."
For those of you with a sense of humor and experience with hormonal birth control, you know the above satire is just that, a joke. The idea is clearly that what is described above is not atypical at all for a woman to endure while taking hormonal birth control, but when you read it in the context of a male patient, it seems horrific, unbearable, unthinkable! Scrotum perforations!? *gasp* So ladies, why have we been enduring hormonal birth control HELL since the 1960's???
Most of us take it like champs. I know I did, for ten years. Weight fluctuations, acne, hair loss, Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde mood swings, insomnia, back pain, sore breasts, fatigue, no sex drive (zero...zilch...zip!), drought (you ladies know what I mean), lack of motivation, bloating...must I go on?
In addition to ALL this, we have to work overtime nurturing (or should I call it "damage control") our relationships that suffer tremendously from the previously described side effects. Then we go to the doctor only to be told "the pill shouldn't cause that, but lets change you to a different one just to see. Give it another three months and if things aren't better, come back". Over and over and over.
DISCLAIMER: I am not in any way bashing doctors, or anyone in the medical profession. There are many wonderful life saving doctors. There is, however, a general lack of understanding and empathy when it comes to women's health issues regarding contraception.
And then if you're even luckier, you'll get talked into an IUD that might perforate (or grow into) your uterus and have to be surgically removed, or a shot that might make you gain 30 lbs and be infertile for 1-3 years after going off of it. After 10 years, I had resolved myself to the fact that being a woman just plain ole sucked
...Until I made the decision to stop taking hormonal birth control. Wow! Within weeks, every symptom that doctors had acted baffled about, was gone. I felt an energy and euphoria I hadn't felt in years. And it was then that I decided, if it comes down to hormonal birth control and sex or no hormonal birth control and no sex, I'd choose no hormonal birth control and no sex in a heartbeat. Yep, hands down. Life is too short to spend it feeling cruddy all the time.
Then, someone recommended I read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. This, my friends, is a life changing book. All women, and all men who plan to be involved with said women, should read this book. I was ASTONISHED at how much I did not know about how my body works. The astonishment came from my previous belief that I knew it all.
Since reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" I chart my cycles every month. However, the book is about MUCH more than just charting. There is no way to describe the empowerment I now have. You must experience it for yourself to truly appreciate it.
Charting is NOT just for women who are trying to get pregnant. It's equally as important for women who are trying NOT to get pregnant without taking hormonal birth control or just want to be in tune with their bodies.
I love the fact that I know exactly how long my cycles are, exactly what day I ovulate, what days I am the most fertile and most infertile, and exactly when to expect my period. The only way to know when your period will come, is to know when you've ovulated.
The only way to know when you've ovulated is either ovulation predictor kits (and who is gonna buy those every month if they're NOT trying to get pregnant???), ultrasound (and those only tell you IF you have ovulated, they can't tell you when), or charting. Charting is free (once you buy a $10 basal body thermometer), easy, extremely empowering. Your doctor will be blown away if you walk into his/her office knowing all the things I mentioned above.
So Ladies, the moral of the story is this: STOP being willing to accept feeling like crap all the time. STOP making your body avoid what nature tells it to do just so you can be an easy access sexual goddess and not inconvenience your partner. STOP expecting your OB to know what happens in YOUR body day to day, that's your job. STOP ignoring what your body is trying to tell you. STOP telling yourself there are no other options.
Pick your bloated, pimply, balding, moody as hell, tired butt up and make a change. Cause I'm here to tell you, being a woman IS pretty darn awesome!!!
Have you taken charge of your birth control? What methods do you use and how do they make you feel?
 Control of Your Life "Pin It")
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About the Author
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- From: IHeartEarth@xanga
- Name: IHeartEarth
- Location: bowling green, Kentucky, United States
- About Me: Love.
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Comments (56)
I really don't have the time to chart my cycle down to a T. I really don't give a crap about it either.
I take The Pill. I love The Pill and I don't plan on going off of it until I want a kid in another 10 years. I hate when people give me the "you'll be more susceptible to miscarriage" or "you'll have issues getting pregnant" crap. I'M 18. EIGHTEEN! Do you honestly think I want a child right now, even though I have a wonderful boyfriend? HELL NO.
My period is so well regulated, light,short and pain free too. I also have no acne and I'm not laying in bed with cramps depressed for 2 weeks before my period.
I'm sorry you have symptoms, but I have none other but slight weight gain (10-20 lbs). I really don't mind that. I've made peace with my body and my boyfriend doesn't mind the weight gain.
I've been charting for six months now, and the change is unbelievable. No breast pain, no horrible acne, no wacky mood swings. It literally takes me a minute to take my temp and record it. I know exactly when I'm about to ovulate. My period was late the month I had the flu, and if I hadn't been charting, I would have been so worried, but I knew from my chart that I ovulated late, which meant my period would be about a week late.
@glittershadow@xanga - To each their own my friend. I'm glad it's working well for you. :)
@xcntrychicka@xanga - Amen to this...what a huge difference and how empowering it is to feel in such control. I never realized how awesome my body actually is on the inside. ;) Last month I had a wacko cycle, didn't ovulate until day 36. If I hadn't been charted, I would've SWORN a 48 day cycle = pregnancy and would've stressed myself to death. :) Love it! You go girl!
Is there proven accuracy to "charting" compared with more conventional means of birth control? I mean, how statistically effective has it proven to be?
@glittershadow@xanga - I'm on the Pill too, and I love it. I don't have to worry about taking it at a certain time each day, because I'm not using it to prevent pregnancy, but to get rid of my PMDD symptoms. Before the Pill, once a month I was stuck on the toilet with my head in a trash can (sorry TMI, but true) and now that I'm on the Pill I haven't been sick like that! Just minor cramping which is easily eased with pamprin.
@onceuponatime0717@xanga - That's what I originally was on it for. I would miss school at least a day a month because I couldn't get out of bed. With AP courses and everything, I had to go on it so I didn't get behind. I love hardly having cramping and it's good that I was on it when I met my boyfriend, so I wouldn't have to worry about anything.
I'm only taking BCP to relieve my menstrual symptoms. The side effects suck, I agree, but I would much rather the side effects than being in incredible pain for several days a month.
Trust me, I cannot wait for the day that I go off of it when I decide to have kids. I will enjoy being without the side effects!
I don't think all hormonal birth control is a bad thing, considering it works well for some women. I was also told that the Depo shot doesn't exactly make you gain weight, but it can increase your appetite, but it's up to you to control your diet. Also, no one experiences the same thing, so to write a blog like this is great to inform people of alternative options, but there's no point in kind of bashing the people that do use hormonal birth control...and like it.
I don't think you were bashing those of us who use hormonal birth control. I think you were simply showing that there IS another option, and that most of us are not made aware that there is any other choice but bcp, condoms, etc.
I think it's great that you have been able to take such control over your body and to learn that you are a wonderfully made, fully-functioning, well woman. I hope someday to be like that again.
I am on hormonal birth control because after my son was born, I had some issues made worse by breastfeeding (i fully understand your drought). But mine was worse than just dryness, my skin became fragile and breakable by the slightest touch. My dr called it a progestin dominance problem, and after about 6 weeks on estrogen cream (yes, hormone replacement) after a minor surgery postpartum, I was able to convert to regular bc pills instead of hrt. It's been about a year and a half and I hate how my libido is. I don't know for sure that it's the pills though because i had the same problem after my daughter was born 5 years ago and I wasn't on any medication other than asthma meds (can't skimp on that). I have started thinking about going off the bc pills and have considered charting. I am just so afraid of either unintended pregnancy or having a fragile vagina that makes sex feel like sandpaper and lead to broken tissues and bleeding. It sucked so hard, I am telling you.
And I don't want to get pregnant again while I live where I do because I will be forced to have a cesarean against my will because my daughter was a c-section. It is protocol here, once a cesarean always a cesarean - to the point where the local hospitals have been known to send a women in labor home after giving her medication to stop her labor to force her to schedule her cesarian. Ef that shiz. And so, while my husband is stationed here (he's coast guard), I feel like I have to stay on the pills. For those two reasons.
Excellent post. I love that you wrote this. I love that you care so much. I love that you have had such a positive experience.
I refuse to ever get on the pill. lol it sounded super scary when I pictured its effects on guys
Love taking control of my fertility. We were on the pill until we decided to have kids, then after number 1 I had an iud, which I hated because it gave me two periods a month (joy!). After removing the iud and having number 2 I went BACK on a light pill, then simply stopped taking it because I was horrible at remembering. Then I just started keeping track. I am a 28 day ovulator, so that was super easy to track, and I also looked for other "fertility" signs (such as thickened discharge, etc.). I am happy to say that we didn't get pregnant with number 3 until we were ready for it. I'm hoping to do that again, although I will probably go on the light pill again at first until my period returns because I am afraid of having another baby so close to my third one.
seriously, if a man started bleeding out of his penis ... and it happened for a week every single month for the rest of his adult life, there would be SOME big deal made out of it. women have that problem? meh.
i give you props for deciding to really take care of your body and be in tune with it. more people need to be that aware of their physical bodies!
@makesenseofmadness@xanga - You should reread. There was no bashing of anyone. I simply told women and men of my experience, my revelations in stopping hormonal bc, and how much better I feel. I'm a moderator on a womens health forum and I see literally multiple posts daily about women suffering through birth control side effects. I like for women to know there are other options. Oh, and for what it's worth, I'm a very athletic health conscious individual, and I gained 15 lbs while on birth control with no noticeable increase in my appetite. Of course people will say it doesn't make you gain weight, they'll also tell you that if it decreases your sex drive it must be "something going on in your own life causing it", but I'm here after 10 years of us as proof that's just not always true. :) Best of luck to you on your journey.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - You've had quite an experience. Yes, sometimes we just have to do what we have to do to get by, and for you right now, that sounds like hormonal BC. The great thing about charting is that you really see what's going on with yourself. Last month, I ovulated on day 36 of my cycle (yeah, super duper late, which can happen cause of sickness, stress, even travel) so I didn't start my period until around day 48. Had I not been charting, I'd have SWORN I was pregnant. But because I was charting, I knew for two reasons that I wasn't pregnant: 1. Because I abstain on my high fertility days and use protection even on low fertility days and 2. Because I knew thanks to charting, I had ovulated really late. I was able to sit back, relax and just let my body do what it does without running to the store to get an HPT. ;) Thank you so much for your kind comments and for taking the time to read. I hope you are able to find a solution that works for your body AND your mind and allows you to enjoy womanhood again. Hang in there! :)
@careegroup@xanga - Awesome. Consider reading the book. It will help you tremendously. (Or did you say you already had read it??) :)@jenemelon@xanga - Amen to that! lol. I CRACKED up when I read that sattire of male birth control. More women need to start taking charge....these are our only bodies for goodness sakes. :) @lonelystrangergirl@xanga - Good for you. With that said, protection is a MUST (of course you know that). I think BC has probably also increased the spread of STD's because many young men and women are more concerned with getting pregnant than with STD's, so if the girl is on the pill, they consider it unnecessary to wear condoms. I have no statistics to back that up, just a speculation. There are lots of options out there, I just want women to be aware of them all and start putting their foot down and stop accepting the awful side effects some of us suffer with hormonal BC. Thanks for reading!! :)
@OstentatiousEloquence@xanga - Birth control pill is somewhere like 98-99.9% effective. It's the most effective method in preventing pregnancy next to abstinence. The book I mention talks about the effectivity of FAM (though I don't have the book with me here at work and don't want to quote it and get it wrong!) when done correctly. Here's the thing, I don't just use FAM. Why? Because it takes lots of practice to be good enough at it to feel safe using it as bc, but it allows me to pick certain times of the month to abstain to totally avoid pregnancy. During the other times, there are other options like condoms, diaphragms, cervical caps, etc. :)
@IHeartEarth@xanga - I think I read enough the first time. The point is, even if you're not literally bashing everyone using hormonal birth control, I don't feel like you're being objective enough to give a well-thought opinion on one versus the other. You didn't mention for example that hormonal birth control is the most effective against pregnancy. Maybe for older women that wouldn't be completely set back by a pregnancy, hormonal birth control may not be their first choice. But for me and many other younger women, we might want to choose hormonal birth control simply because it's the most effective at preventing pregnancy. I am on hormonal birth control, and it may also help my periods, which would be helpful as well. It wasn't an easy decision, but I made that choice. I have not experienced the numerous and lengthy side effects you have mentioned, and like I said, we are all different. I chose this way, and you have chosen another way. Nothing wrong with either one, but I wished you had talked more about the positive effects of hormonal birth control.
@makesenseofmadness@xanga - I didn't write about positive aspects of hormonal birth control because I don't feel positive about hormonal birth control. It's that simple. I have 10 years of experience with it, and I accounted for what I experienced. My blog wasn't meant to be a review of hormonal versus non hormonal, it was meant to share MY experiences in life and encourage women who are going through similar experiences that there are other options out there. I didn't tell you not to take it, did I? I simply told you that IF you're taking it and having as rough a experience as I did, there are other options. I'm sure if you wanted to write a blog about how awesome the birth control pill is, no one would mind. I'm confident enough in my own experience and knowledge that I know I wouldn't. :)
I was on hormonal BC for five years and had all the awful side effects you mentioned... so I threw caution to the wind, went off of it, felt like a million bucks... so much so that my libido went from zero to 100 basically right away. I felt wonderful! Then... oops... I got pregnant. It wasn't planned, but Leah is here now, and we're so happy with life now, even if it wasn't what we planned for... BUT I don't think I'm ready for that to happen again any time soon... so, since charting is out of the question because I'm breastfeeding and not getting periods yet, I'm taking the mini-pill. Compared to regular bc it's better... just light cramping for a few hours basically every day (isn't it awful that cramping is no biggie in comparison? ahh).
@LorNextDoor@xanga - Welcome to the world Leah. haha! :) Yeah FAM is definitely not something you want to use as your sole method of BC until you're quite experienced in it. Glad to hear you're not having to deal with the side effects you were once dealing with. Perhaps the mini pill is the answer for you right now! I hope you have great luck with it. :)
I hated the minipill. It made me have periods once every 3 months and boy when it happened, OMG I was miserable, and I've never before had bad periods or cramps or whatever. For me, combination pills have been better, but everyone is different. It turned out I naturally had too much progesterone when breastfeeding, so maybe that's why I didn't like the mini.
I took it so seriously when I started birth control pills at all. I'm fearful in part because of a strong family history of breast cancer. As soon as we're sure we're done with babies, my husband has volunteered to get a vasectomy. I'm just not ready to say I'm done yet. Unless it means forced cesarean. I will never dig that. But that's just my experiences talking.
What do you think of older combi pills vs newer ones? I refuse to take the new ones because I don't feel they've been studied enough. It's like they were so eager to market, they just pushed through requirements and didn't really care or bother to really look at what it did to the women who took it.
BTW, I read the first part of this post out loud to my husband who was freaking. And then I realized it was not real. LOL! DOH! He was like "two people died from that? Don't people think that's important????" Awesome.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Lol! And do you know how many women who have had horrific problems after starting the pill only to be told there was no "scientific evidence" to prove it could cause what happened to them? There was no scientific evidence because the number of women it happened to wasn't considered "significant" enough to mess with. Sounds a bit like the Umbrelly huh? ;) I bet he WAS freaking out already thinking "there is no WAY I'm sticking anything into my penis!!" haha. Poor fella...that made me laugh out loud!
As for newer pills, up until the past year and a half I felt like I had tried them all. I would always have good periods of time while on a certain pill, then the side effects would start. I'd get switched to whatever was the latest and greatest. Of course the newer combo's are supposed to be better because they are lower doses of hormones, but for me it didn't matter. When I was on the older pills I was an EMOTIONAL rollercoaster, bloated, sore boobs etc. When I was on the newer pills I lost hair, was very irritable (more angry than sad like on the other ones), had zero sex drive. Felt like I couldn't win for losing!
Good for you for taking the initiative to find something that works for you. I like hormonal birth control, it has no side effects for me and I can occasionally use it to skip a period. Skin blemishes that I get aren't bad, are very low in amount, but they worsen if I pick at them (so I'm treating that behavior). Bloating for me is a lack of dietary fiber and water intake. If you're dehydrated, it's harder to go to the bathroom.
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - Try adding psyllium husks into your diet. But if you do, you must also increase your water intake. In turn, regular healthy bm's and feeling oh so great. haha. :) My best friend uses hormonal bc for cramps and has no negative side effects from it. Not everyone does. But for those of us that do, it's quite dreadful and VERY frustrating!!