Wednesday, 30 March 2011
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Have a Little Compassion For Kids With Allergies!
Yesterday, I saw a segment on television about an elementary school in Florida, where parents are picketing outside the school. They are angry because of accommodations being made in the school for one child, a 6 year old girl with a life threatening allergy to peanuts. They have their children picketing with them, and they are asking this girl to leave school. To withdraw from school because they feel that their own kids are being asked to do too much in the name of keeping this other child safe.Here's what the kids are being asked to do:
- Wash their hands before entering the classroom and again after lunch
- Wipe their mouths after lunch (originally they were asked to rinse mouths, but this has changed)
- Leave their lunches in a designated place outside the classroom
- Do not bring snacks into the classroom that contain nuts (Lunches aren't affected, because the poor child with the allergy eats alone in the classroom with an aide, at her family's request)
That's it. I saw one mom (in another interview) claim that students were losing 30 minutes of instruction time each day while completing these tasks to care for the one student with the peanut allergy.
I suspect this mother is not aware of the other benefits of hand washing? I have never seen an elementary school class that wasn't instructed to wash their hands multiple times throughout the day, simply to stop the spread of germs. And 30 minutes? No way is that possible. The superintendent said the class has access to two sinks, and we all know that kids do not wash their hands like surgeons scrubbing into the O.R.
If you read my blog regularly, you probably know that our daughter has a peanut allergy, so this topic is near and dear to my heart. Every family handles the risk of peanut contact differently, and every child has had different reactions to exposure. Our daughter's classroom is also nut-free, but she sits with her class at lunch in a special seat that is wiped down extra carefully for her.
For me, though, this story is less about the specifics of the peanut allergy or even the fact that it involves a peanut allergy. It's about compassion. What are these parents teaching their children about caring for their classmates and peers? It's bad enough that they don't have empathy for this poor child, but to picket outside the school and enlist their children's help? Shame on those parents.
A columnist by the name of Joel Stein, who regularly contributes to Time Magazine, recently wrote this article, in which he explains how his own 1 year old son had an anaphylactic reaction to tree nuts not long after he wrote another article mocking kids with nut allergies (and their parents).
Apparently, after the first article he got some scathing e-mails from parents of nut allergic kids, wishing the same affliction on his kids someday. As they say, karma can be a bitch! But seriously, the bigger issue is general compassion and human decency. I wish our daughter didn't have a peanut allergy, but I don't wish it on anyone else, no matter how much I may not like them (or their kid)!It's about putting yourself in someone else's shoes and feeling what it's like to be them - to live with whatever burden they carry. Whether it's a peanut allergy, a chronic illness, or having a different color skin than everyone else in the class.
Isn't it better to teach your kids to feel for others than to teach them to single that person out and criticize? Or that you should always put yourself first, even at the risk of hurting others?
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- From: turningreen@xanga
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- About Me: I am a mom of 2 kids (8 and 6), married for 12 yrs. We are a typical suburban family trying to live a greener life to help protect the Earth. Please read our blog to learn about the ups and downs of turning green (and living life) in the 'burbs!
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Comments (38)
Shame on those parents, is right.
I was actually angry reading how those parents are acting. If it was their kid, they would probably be singing a different tune. The school is NOT asking that much of the kids, for crying out loud.
There's definitely a lack of compassion. It's incredibly sad.
As a kid, I used to be allergic to chicken, nuts, eggs, milk, bread, flour, seafood, even candy.
It's better now, even though I am still allergic to things peanuts (anaphylactic), and seafood.
I think that parents should teach their children that there are others who are different. They can't eat the same foods, and to be cautious. What is wrong with that?
Yes, it means that you have to put more time and effort into things, but y'know what? You're preventing someone from having a bad reaction, or maybe even death.
Jeez.
Peeps these days!
xo'
The vast majority of people should try to have a little more empathy. They'd definitely be singing a different tune if it were their child with the life-threatening peanut allergy.
Yea Turningreen for making the big time! An excellent post!
I think those restrictions for a single classroom is fine. An entire school might be another story.
And 30 minutes a day is about right for first graders.
Having a different color skin is NOT a burden. Moving on:
I see both sides, but I think that picketing is pretty far. That little girl has got to be feeling pretty ostracized. On the other hand I understand the parents not wanting the responsibility of her allergy. Still, public schools are for everyone, and this girl doesn't need to be forced to withdraw from school for an allergy. I imagine her parents are feeling pretty bitter right now. The picketing parents are teaching their kids some pretty bad values right now- try to get rid of anyone who unintentionally inconvenences you. That's bad. There are other ways of solving the problem.
*sigh* A lot of people who don't suffer from allergies don't even really believe that they're real. They view them as something that is all in the imagination, not a physical reality. I bet that's partly behind their attitude.
" Or that you should always put yourself first, even at the risk of hurting others?"
Isn't that exactly what you're doing when you ask others to accommodate this one child?
I have a few questions for you:
What about picky eaters who would rather not eat than eat something other than peanut butter and jelly?
What about kids that are vegetarians and rely on peanut butter as a protein source?
What does washing their hands accomplish, if they have already wiped them on their pants or shirts?
How about mom's granola bar breakfast? She eats her granola bar on the drive and kisses little Johnny on the forehead, transferring peanut oil to him. Should she (and all of the kids) not be allowed to eat anything containing peanuts or processed in a facility that handles peanuts before or during school?
You neglected to mention the peanut-sniffing dog the Edgewater schools have employed. Nor do you mention that this is an allergy and an allergy is NOT a disability, meaning that any accommodations made are done so out of kindness, not legal obligation.
wow this is horrible. i cant believe people are picketing b/c of an allergy. i dont have the allergy and neither does my son but one of my friends son has a severe allergy to it. i feel so bad for him. when we see him we can not have anything with nuts in it before we got to see them and we have to make sure nothing has come into contact with peanuts/tree nuts (we are really really big nut/peanut eaters) its very sad that he has to live in this little bubble b/c of the allergy... plus i think peanut butter is the best stuff on earth. i dont think that washing hands or wiping their mouths or even leaving their lunches in a special area is too much to ask for. lunches arent effected so i dont really see the problem but thats just me.
@WaitingToShrug@xanga - I didn't mean to imply that a certain skin color is a burden - sorry if it seemed that way. I was trying to give an example of the burden of feeling singled out for any reason -- the emphasis on being different from your classmates, not on your particular skin color. And I agree with you - many people doubt that allergies are real. Unfortunately, when you have seen your own child having an allergic reaction - you know all too well that they are in fact a reality!
@Automaton_Emotion@xanga - I don't believe that anything these other kids are being asked to do hurts them in any way. We are talking about one snack each day. If a child is so picky that they will only eat peanut butter as a protein source, then so be it -- they can then eat it for every meal and every snack at home, and they can find ANY other food to have for morning snack in their classroom. Skipping one snack or eating not-your-favorite snack once a day will not hurt anyone.
Washing hands kills germs, first and foremost, which is why every school encourages students to do it regularly. As for peanut allergies, it is a common sense approach to washing the area that is most likely to come in contact with surfaces in the classroom.
Peanut allergy can in fact be a federally recognized disability under current law, if a family has completed a 504 Plan under the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. The application of this law to severe food allergy is under debate, but as of now it is recognized. We have not done this for our daughter, and don't feel we need to because we have found most people to be understanding and that we can keep her safe without troubling others too much.
I had not heard about the peanut-sniffing dog and don't know much about it - that would be a different discussion than the simple hand washing and placing of lunches outside the classroom.
@turningreen@xanga - There's a famous saying...
"My right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
When one child's needs call for all of the other children to make accommodations, those requests need to be reasonable. This child's allergy is severe enough that being within a certain proximity of peanut dust will cause a life-threatening emergency. Is it reasonable to ask the other children and parents to alter how they eat in the morning as well as lunches at school? You say it's just one snack, but is it your right to dictate how others eat?
As a parent, I know I wouldn't want to trust my child's well-being to 25-27 other six year olds. Accidents happen. You know from your own experience that the strangest products may end up containing peanut oil or dust and it's not entirely intuitive in every case. You're asking those parents to make sure they read every label on every purchase they make to protect YOUR child.
I'm not suggesting that reasonable accommodations for children with allergies shouldn't be made. If you can ensure your child's safety with minimal demands on the other children, that's fine. If your child requires other children to submit to a peanut-sniffing dog, you may want to consider alternative arrangements for schooling and socialization.
While you may be able seek protected status on a case-by-case basis, it does not meet the legal requirement for a disability.
@Automaton_Emotion@xanga - I have not seen any mention of the children having to "submit" to a peanut sniffing dog...only that one was in the school. This is clearly extreme - but each case is different. I don't judge it one way or the other.
I am lucky that nearly every person who has ever had a child in my daughter's class has been compassionate, understanding, and willing to do their share to help keep my kid safe. I would do the same for their kids in a heartbeat. I am well aware that not everyone is like this.
@turningreen@xanga - It's not even a matter of being compassionate. If you're handed a mandate by the school and you refuse to comply, one of two things will happen: (1.) You will be forced to take the school to task in one manner or another, like protesting. If you have enough support, you may get the school to back down. If you do not, you may have to suck it up or find alternative schooling for your child. (2.) YOUR child will suffer the consequences of your non-compliance by being sent home, denied the item sent, or treated with disciplinary action. In fact, the school could choose to expel your child.
That said, when I was faced with this situation (a schoolwide ban on peanut products and products processed in a facility that handles peanuts), we choose to buy our child's lunch at school. No chance of us not being compliant if the school provided the lunch. No chance of my child or myself being to blame for a bad reaction happening with that child.
Mistakes happen. People get distracted or busy and forget to check labels. Your child, obviously, has a greater tolerance for peanuts by proximity than this child does. It's likely that your child will never have an issue with it at school, especially if she or he follows YOUR rules and doesn't share food or eat food that wasn't provided by Mom and Dad.
If a kid eats peanut butter toast or a handful of peanut butter Cap'n Crunch before school, wipes his hands on his pants, and then sits too close to the Edgewater child, she's going to react. That's a risk I wouldn't be willing to take, even if the school staff is properly trained to handle her reaction.
@Automaton_Emotion@xanga -
"Your child, obviously, has a greater
tolerance for peanuts by proximity than this child does. It's likely
that your child will never have an issue with it at school, especially
if she or he follows YOUR rules and doesn't share food or eat food that
wasn't provided by Mom and Dad." Past reactions are not indicative of future reactions, so our allergist, who actually knows our daughter and her medical history, can't even make this statement with certainty.
If your child had a severe peanut allergy, you wouldn't ask the school or anyone else to help you keep him/her safe? What would you do? Home school your child and never expose him or her to anyone else who may have come into contact with peanuts? Or just put your child at the highest risk of exposure so as not to impose upon the rights of anyone else?
@turningreen@xanga - So, you are throwing your child to the wolves every day that you send her to school? Wow. Really? You are either taking care of your child to the best of your ability or endangering her foolishly in an attempt to teach the rest of society to conform to her needs. Which is it?
If my child could have a life-threatening reaction to a common ingredient in lunchboxes across the country without actually coming into physical contact with the food, I would NOT ask any public school to accommodate her. She would likely be homeschooled, for lack of a better way to protect her. Children can still receive social interaction without actually being in public school. The school does still have to help provide educational resources, and should.
As I have stated a few times already, there are reasonable and unreasonable accommodations. If you are asking for a reasonable accommodation, you will be granted it. If you are asking for an unreasonable accommodation, you should be challenged by those whose rights your are infringing because authorities in schools and corporations would rather cater to the lawsuit happy public by OVER-reacting than by reacting with reason.
@Automaton_Emotion@xanga - School is clearly not the only place where a child with a
life-threatening peanut allergy would come into contact with
potential allergens, so it's a bigger issue for families facing it than
just school (or home school). I am not throwing my child to the wolves - never said I was. I am as comfortable with my child's situation as I can be, thank you very much. I was simply asking what you would do in that situation, which was sort of the point of the original post -- put yourself in someone else's shoes. You have given me your perspective as the parent of a non-allergic child. I get it. Now you're just being argumentative, so I'm out.
@turningreen@xanga - You did, however, attempt to discredit me by making me look as if I was making absurd assumptions about your child's allergies. Dirty plays will be met with return fire. If you dislike that possibility, address what is being said in the spirit it is being said.
You're taking the issue personally because you have a child with said allergy. If you didn't have a child with the allergy, you would likely view these restrictions differently.
Not having a child with a peanut allergy does not preclude me from being effected by a child who does. I have already experienced a similar situation which lead the the banning of peanuts in any form at my child's school. If my child was required to rinse her mouth out before entering the classroom, I would have to question why one child's rights outweigh the rights of all the other children.
You consider my interest in this matter as being argumentative for the sake of argument. I consider this a complex legal and political issue worth exploring. The more willing you are to just accept directives from agencies, the easier it is for them to impose greater restrictions.
Hmm, what's it called when you single someone out because of something they cannot change or have any control over?
Public school sucks. You should be able to choose where you send your kid to school no matter where you live, as long as you provide transportation for them if it is out of the school's jurisdiction (county? Idk how they split these things up). I would be pissed if I went to that school, because I can't live a day without getting my pb fix. I would personally want to be transferred out, or to a public school, just to be able to have my peanutbutter lol.
please don't take this the wrong way, because i'm generally curious. but why aren?t these children in bubbles? how do you deal with being out in public where someone could be eating peanuts, like in a mall, a restaurant or god forbid an airplane? someday these people will be out in the world at jobs, will their workplaces have to be peanut free?
i guess the point i'm trying to get across is that no matter what you do, these people can't be coddled forever and have to deal with their allergies out in the real world, so why have bans in school that affect every other child, when you really could just isolate one for meal times.
Some families rely on peanut butter as a cheap easy way to make lunch... and I know kids who are allergic to pollen.. should we remove all of the grass or flowers outside of the school? What about kids allergic to chicken or spices?
I understand both sides of the situation but life is not necessarily there to accomodate you and it won't be in the future when mommy and daddy aren't there to hold your hand and banish all the peanuts. I also don't see why this is an issue (where I live) as some schools here are called a peanut free environment. If it is needed, where I live, you should send your kid to a special school that does accomodate just peanut allergies. (I don't know if this is around in the states)
And if you think about it, when they go forward in life they will be faced with situations where peanut products are used and I suppose just have to deal with it... but asking everyone to accomodate one person? Ergh yeah... maybe if you can pull that off in one class but in the general public? Don't think so.
If a kid has an allergy that's that life-threatening, she doesn't need to be in a public school. There are far too many opportunities for that child to come into contact with peanuts somehow, regardless of how careful the school is trying to be.
I have been plagued with numerous outdoor allergies for the majority of my life. When I was initially allergy tested, I couldn't even meet the time requirements for the substances to remain on my body because my reactions to them were so bad. I break out in hives from just walking outside. I have my very own Nebulizer to combat allergy related breathing problems and such...by all means, I should live in a bubble=). I spent a lot of time being home schooled (with my doctor's permission through the school system).
When I did attend public school, I had a physician's note listing all my allergies, what to do in case of an emergency, and a bag of medication. The note was given to the front office and a copy was hand delivered to all my teachers and I was always very clear that I was open to answering any questions they had for me. None of my teachers ever asked me, my parents, or my doctors any questions, yet when an accident did occur they would always claim that they were "unaware that anything was wrong" with me. I even had one teacher that tried to make me sit in grass (which I am allergic to) during a fire drill and wrote me up for refusing.
I never brought attention to my allergies unless I had to leave the classroom, especially after the my first few experiences with teachers had been difficult. I would usually just say that I had to use the bathroom, call my mom, and blow that Popsicle stand! (They knew what to do in case I would flop on the floor or something...) Honestly, this girl should have just sucked it up, made the school aware of her allergies, and made herself aware of what she had to do to keep herself safe. Her mother created a lot of trouble for a situation that could have been handled more effectively by educating those at the school and those close to her daughter...trust me on this one, I have enough experience...
@ncxcorexkid@xanga - discrimination
@Automaton_Emotion@xanga - You were making absurd assumptions about peanut-sniffing dogs. For goodness sakes, you'd rather risk the life of someone else's child than ask your own kid to eat something without peanuts in it at school? Wow, just wow!