Thursday, 03 March 2011

  • I Draw the Line at the School Dance

    This is a guest post from Mommywizdom.


    When we got the order form for a yearbook I was aghast.  I refused to get a yearbook for my Kindergartner.  How ridiculous it seemed.

    I even let the order date pass.

    That's when the nagging feeling started in the back of my head.

    I remember my friends from when I was her age.  Some of them moved away and I always wished I'd had a way to contact them.  What better way to have that than to have a yearbook?

    Sure, I still think it's silly for a Kindergartner to have a yearbook and chances are she is the only one in her class ordering one.  But, then I considered that she will remember the friendships she has with these kids for a long time and she should have some kind of keepsake of them, right? 

    The order date passed, yes, but I was still able to get an order in.  I guess I was lucky the school is so flexible that way.

    The next day, we received the flyer about the school dance.

    That's definitely where I draw the line!  No school dance for this girl! 

    Yes, I'm certifiable!

    Are schools getting out of hand with yearbooks and school activities in the primary grades?  Where do you draw the line for school activities that you consider to be "too much" or "too grown up" for you kids?  

Comments (70)

  • wideopenskies@xanga

    I think it depends on the nature of the dance.  If it's like a big party with all the kids and a large amount of parent and teacher chaperones, I don't see anything wrong with it.  Getting boys and girls to dance together... well, let's just say I wouldn't want my kid joining in on that, but that's just me.  So basically, it depends.

  • a12906@xanga

    Oh my God. It's a dance, woman, not an orgy. What kindergartener is thinking "Hehe, gonna 'get it in' tonight!" upon hearing the word "dance"? Obviously you are the one who can't get sex off your brain. Newsflash, taking it out on five year olds isn't going to help ease your obsession.

  • RainDropPixie@xanga

    I'd let my kid go to a dance over shelling out cash for a yearbook....I don't remember more than HALF my kindergarten class....nor do I care to.


    My first dance was 6th grade, for our 6th grade banquet. To celebrate going to middle school the next year. 
  • Thoughts_of_Motherhood@xanga

    While I see nothing wrong with a school dance for kindergarteners, I do think it is kind of silly & overboard to have a dance for them.  I don't recall ever having "dances" in elementary & for sure not in kindergarten.  Now, an ice cream social or something seems more age appropriate to me.  (And when I say age appropriate - I don't mean anything involving sexual anything towards the dance, I think we ALL realize that is not something a typical kindergartener knows anything about.)  Although I suppose a kindergarten dance would consist of Raffi songs and getting their wiggles out. 

  • prettynpink628@xanga

    I have a yearbook from kindergarten. I went to school with some of those kids all through highschool, so it was fun to look back at how tiny we were. 


    Are boys and girls even interested in dancing together at that age? I mean, I kissed a boy on the cheek in kindergarten, but I was mocked for it all year. 
  • Spectrophile@xanga

    I wish I had class photos for every grade (including kindergarten). Thanks to the internet, I now have all but one. I don't think year books are especially popular in my country. One school I went to did produce them though, and I bought it, but for only one year. As for the dance, I don't mean to sound condescending, but its just a dance. Cooties is a mythical disease, and you can't get pregnant by dancing. I never took part in gender segregation (except for the bathroom, of course ), and I turned out fine. Primary schools I went to would hold dances fairly frequently. As far as I'm aware, teenage pregnancy rates are quite low in my country too, so at least statistically it doesn't significantly encourage that type of behaviour .

  • fields_of_sunflowers@xanga

    In England, you get yearbooks when you leave school age eighteen or sixteen. That's it. You don't get them every year, and a lot of schools don't have them at all. The same goes for dances - you get a prom at sixteen and a prom/graduation ball at eighteen, but that's it. We get "discos" at Christmas, but they're pretty cheap and badly put together, for the most part, but hey, it's all part of the school experience. I don't think all these yearbooks and dances are necessary, BUT if my kid's school was putting them on, I definitely wouldn't want them to miss out - because that's entirely unfair on the child.

    Kids remember not being allowed to do things, and if you stop them going to what is probably just a kids party, they'll remember it and start to resent you for it. They're young - it's not like anything bad will happen, and there'll be plenty of parent/teacher supervision. I think not letting her go is highly unfair, and unnecessary. It'll seem like you're punishing her - and for what? She hasn't done anything wrong, and it's not fair for her to have to miss out on fun with her friends just because of you.

  • TheFifthHero@xanga

    Uh, I'm pretty sure everyone in my class got a yearbook in kindergarten.  A school dance does seem a bit excessive, but at the school where my mom teaches, kindergarten has a fairy tale ball where they teach all the kids how to ballroom dance and they all dress up and their parents come to watch.  It's adorable, and not at all "too grown up" because it's a fairy tale ball. 

  • MamaEendje

    I like the idea of a kindergarden year book. My grandmother has one from my mother's first year in school. My mom passed away when I was 13 so it was fun to see what she looked like and even more photos of all the cute things she did (like dressing up in paper bags as Indian's for Thanksgiving, and story time etc.) It is the first year of your child's educational career. I assume the teachers took a few pictures of the class doing things together?

    As for the dance I'm from the south and I don't remember having one at age 5, but we had an end of the year dance when I was 7. The lights were on and it was held in the gym. There was hoola hoops, games, dancing and snacks. It was pretty much a time to socialize and have an indoor play time with friends because school time is for learning, not playing. The teachers used it as something for us to look forward to, to keep in line with, and as a celebration of ending the year.

  • LadyGwenivere@xanga

    a year book for a kindergarten?
    ok....?
    When i was in school we had school photos taken (one of each of the kids in the class and one big one of the class).. I have all my class photos from preschool to highschool.
    but yearbooks?
    maybe if the money went to a good cause or something then maybe.

  • ichirukilove

    My parents got us yearbooks every year they could afford them. I've looked back at my younger years and remembered things by looking at those year books. If you're so upset with yearbooks, don't get them.
    As for dances, they've never seem that "grown-up" to me. Kids dance, so what? Some parents love the chance to dress up their little one for a social event. No one said you have to let your child go to the dance.

  • mommashannon@xanga

    Honestly I'd let my kids go but I'd be there too. I mean seriously a bunch of kindergarteners will not be dancing dirty. I think if anything you should draw that line when she's in 8th grade. My kids love to dance, we have dance parties in the kitchen often!! It's so silly and fun

  • MangoWOW@xanga

    I'm pretty sure it's not going to be like the dance you're thinking of. They'll probably just be given cake and have music playing and let the kids dance....
    No slow dances or booty shaking, I promise.

  • Katliin@xanga

    I wouldn't have problem with the dance. If is done age appropriate. Having just the younger grades together.
    It is fun watching them. Generally they don't play slow songs and when do, is like you see in these movies. Girls all on one side and the boys on the other. Very few are brave enough to ask the other to dance.


    As for the yearbook, looking back wish could have afforded to buy our kids one every year but they are just so dang expensive. Do make a point to get their 5th grade year (when graduated to the middle school) 8th grade year (graduating to high school) and of course senior year.
    Nearly choked when learned high school yearbook is $55.

  • aliyagator@xanga

    In my elementary school everyone got a yearbook.  it was part of tuition expenses (of course this was a private school where everyone HAS tuition expenses).  I still treasure every year of yearbooks and the memories they can bring back.  I have all my yearbooks from those early years through high school and I have most of the yearbooks from University too (I didn't buy one every year but almost wish I had).  One of my friend's moms did something I liked in her college yearbooks - she made sure to highlight the names of her friends from that year.  The people she hung out with, etc.  Because in 20 years she's not going to remember.  But having those names to look back on you can know if you were really friends with that person or if they're just adding you on facebook because they passed you in the hall once.  I think it'd be a great thing to do in year books all through school.  

  • memphisten@xanga

    lol..what is wrong with you?

  • caitlinbellabella

    @a12906@xanga - She didn't once say OMG ITS AN ORGY ITS ALL ABOUT SEX, that was you. With "dances" comes crushes and yada yada, boys, I completely agree, a Kindergarden dance is ridiculous. Schools are getting way out of hand.
    Everyone has their opinion and in mine a five year old doesn't need a dance, OR a yearbook.

  • Brilliant_Innocence@xanga

    I don't think either of those things are a huge deal, but they also aren't a necessity, either. I could see this "dance" being more of a party. 

  • mybodyx@xanga

    I don't know about a school dance, but from 1st grade to 5th grade my elementary school had annual "Father/Daughter dances" which was really sweet and gave me great memories of my dad. My dad couldnt always go so some years I had an Uncle go with me, which were also great bonding moments as I now have really poor relationships with my uncles. I think it also made a safe environment with no pressure on the girls to "court" boys at that age. The boys had their own event with their moms, some kind of campfire/arts and crafts day.


    Heck, whenever i've looked at my school yearbooks years later I recognized and laugh at the "baby" pictures of all the people I grew up with. Reality is that if the kids arent moving around, these are the people they are going to spend their 13 years of school befriending. I think it is great to have those memories.

  • a12906@xanga

    @caitlinbellabella - Then why else would she "draw a line" at a dance on the basis that it's "too grown up"? You said yourself that a kid might *gasp* get a crush, as if 5 year olds are otherwise incapable of crushes. Please, I had crushes when I was 5, and believe me there were no dances in my school. And I'm the one claiming something "bad" might happen? hahaha

  • provingmyimperfectself@xanga

    That's totally normal in my opinion. Who doesn't want a yearbook to look back at their kindergarten days? It's memories. School dances for kindergarteners are most likely just arts and crafts with a room for a movie. They are not going to be dancing I am guessing. If they are, who cares? They are spending time with each other! They are kindergarteners having fun!

  • seasidehearts@xanga

    I got a yearbook every year of elementary school; they were only about 20 dollars and just made with glossy paper so I don't see the big deal in getting those. A school dance is a tiny bit weird.. we used to have 'sock hops' and things like that , but never an actual dance so I don't know how I'd feel about that. It seems like something most kids wouldn't be interested in, any way.

  • danaenicole@xanga

    @a12906@xanga - she didn't mention sex. you did.


    i'd probably do the same thing you did. "yes" to the yearbook, "no" to the dance. although it really depends what this "dance" is going to be like. if it's just a party and it's not expensive or anything, i might be okay with it.
  • crazypassions@xanga

    Are you serious? I'm 23, not a mother by any means, but I can honestly remember my elementary school dances, and they were fun, even for a 6-10 year old. It was a really memorable experience for my dad and I, who helped me get ready for my first dance and put a little bow in my hair, AND as for the yearbook....! I still have every yearbook from every grade and I cherish them. I would never take away those moments for my child.

  • Darth_Windows@xanga

    Wow.....I have a yearbook from every year I went to school. And for fucks sake, it's a dance. It's supposed to be fun! Parents need to stop sheltering their kids so much. This is what's wrong with the world. You won't let your kids experience anything and you keep them all to yourself and hide them from the world. Fucking retarded.

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