Monday, 31 January 2011
I know my opinion isn't really a popular one, but I'm going to say it anyway. While watching one episode of teen mom, I thought that Jenelle's mother was being overbearing. Clearly, Jenelle isn't all that responsible and there are times where she really irritated me.
However, when I did see her trying to be responsible for her son, her mother just wouldn't let her. She gave her son a bath, got him dressed and her mother came in and redressed him. Now, you might be thinking that she did the right thing, because Jenelle did admit, I guess, that it was "too big". From what I remember, it didn't seem THAT big. If I gave my grandmother permission to dress my child, they way SHE thought was good enough, my daughter would be able to comfortable live in Antarctica!
And in the summer? She would never be in shorts or tank top. It's not that hot, to her, after all. Please. Plus, aren't PJ's supposed to be a little baggy? I mean, that's why they're comfortable. Or maybe, that's just me. I know that, because Jenelle isn't responsible and has made bad choices, people believe that her mother has a right to be overbearing. I'm not saying I don't understand WHY her mother feels she needs to take over, as someone does need to be responsible for Jace, but what would happen if Jenelle ever wanted to be responsible? I honestly don't think her mother would ever think that or let it happen. She's just over bearing.
Here's my own example, from someone I know.
This mom's daughter and my daughter have play dates, every now and then, orchestrated by my sister, most of the time. I've heard constant complaints about this mom, because she just drops her kids off to whomever and whenever, practically every day, so she can go shopping or do other things. That and she just doesn't discipline her kids and lets other people do it. When my sister got married, we all went up and stayed in a place together for a couple days. This was a chance for me to observe what was really going on.
Know what I saw? Every time this mother tried disciplining her kids, her mother would step in and tell her she wasn't doing it right. Whenever she wanted to go off and do things, her mother would watch the kids. Her mother just never said no. People put her down, as being a bad mom, because her mother would do EVERYTHING for the kids, even when the mother tried doing it herself. That is overbearing.
I mean, how can you complain that someone NEVER does something, when you don't even give them the chance?
Exactly. You can't.
I even live with an overbearing great grandparent. Of course, she knows best all the time. She knows everything my daughter wants or needs and is genuinely shocked when she's wrong. By stepping in and doing everything a mother is supposed to be doing, you're just undermining what she's trying to do. You're not building her up or encouraging her mothering skills, you're just tearing it down.
I mean, why should they be responsible, when the grandmother is just stepping in to do it, or ready to jump down the mother's throat for doing it all wrong. I'm sorry, it gets annoying, plain and simple.
Have you ever had to deal with overbearing grandparents or family members that overstep your role as a parent?