Thursday, 27 January 2011
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Trying to Get Pregnant: An Emotional Rollercoaster
I tried to write this blog earlier today but was very unsuccessful. Some anxiety disorder reared its ugly head and I was camped out on my couch for some R&R (otherwise known as wallowing and sulking). Had a nice little semi-fight with my husband, the kind where I yell like an immature child and he holds his temper as best he can, and then when I dissolve into tears he consoles the weeping child, then the world returns to normal. Okay, take two!So I've been charting my temperature, being absolutely pleased that all that I've read about happened to be true. I was pleased with myself that I was swimming in the sea of fertility, navigating the uncertain waters. It's always great when you end up doing something to better or further your existence.
Then I look at the chart today and realize that this chart does not look like all the charts that I have seen any longer. It seems to toggle up and down a lot more and I'm not sure why.
For a while it made those little toggles that it makes right before ovulation and then it plummeted like I've heard it was supposed to...then it shot right back up, more than it was supposed to. Now it's toggling on the high side...it's supposed to toggle high after projected ovulation, it just seems like it's more extreme than I've seen it.I'm hoping it's toggling because I'm pregnant and it's too early to tell as of yet. I don't know.
One of the reasons my anxiety kind of took over today (other than me putting off the dishes for two days and fizzling out on the laundry) was it hit me how very, very, very aware I am of a certain part of my anatomy.
Do normal people really pay this much attention to their uterus...I mean...before "uterus" turns to "womb"? I mean, I'm keyed in on it all the time, assessing every single gas bubble and muscle twitch...even when, logically, I know it's too early for even the slightest muscle twitch.
I told my husband and I vowed to myself that I would stop and reflect when things started to get too serious with this fertility business. Today, I suppose, it just got a little more serious. Because, on the one hand I feel guilty if I don't pay attention to my body but then I feel so overwhelmed sometimes with trying to interpret what my body is trying to tell me.
I feel like if I don't pay attention then I might miss something that I should have been paying attention to. This frustration inevitably turns upon the most unsuspecting victim (i.e. the husband) and then you end up feeling bad for yelling at him when he's like this little puppy that didn't really do anything wrong but he goes ahead and takes the blame and ends up looking at you like he loves the ground you walk on anyway.
So I'm wondering if all these emotions, these body temperature changes, these mood swings...I'm wondering up to the heavens if it even means something! Does it or doesn't it mean that I'm pregnant? I don't know.
All the books that I've read tell me that it takes at least three weeks from the first day of your last period before an egg could even implant and start the onslaught of hormones. It can take a week longer before those hormones could even be perceived by your body...which is why one of the number one indicators of pregnancy is a missed period.
My next projected period is Feb. 1 (when all the bills are due, yaaaay), so...I've got just a little time to wait. And even if I miss my period, I've missed my period before and not been pregnant...
All the uncertainty is getting to me. All the unanswered questions are oppressing me. Tomorrow I should be over it, especially when my loving husband comes home from work and whispers lies of my beauty and accomplishments to me to make me feel better. Tomorrow is another day.
How did you handle the uncertainty of trying to get pregnant? Was it a rollercoaster of emotions?
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- From: neeshanoo
- Name: neeshanoo
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Comments (18)
i tried for over 6 months this last time before i finally got pregnant, and i can tell you from experience that stressing about it like you are is only going to make it harder to get pregnant. you are putting your body thru a lot of undue stress, just make love to your husband every few days try not to dwell on it.
i stressed about getting pregnant like you wouldnt believe, we only had sex when i was ovulating and i am not kidding when i say i spend at least 100 bucks on pregnancy tests in a 6 month period. every time my period was even slightly late i would test, and test.... only to get a negative every single time. i finally got so discouraged that we quit trying for another child. that is when we finally got pregnant {on my husbands birthday... for the second time. lol}
so just relax, have fun and try not to worry too much,
good luck!
I also understand what you are going through. I stare at my chart multiple times a day thinking somehow it will reveal something to me that it didn't the last time I checked. I know more about getting pregnant than most doctors and I over-analyze every cramp, tweak, twinge, and pull. It's been over a year and we're still trying.
Hang in there!
My husband and I were only trying to conceive for 1 month, but it was the most difficult month of my life. My period was late and everything and I immediately thought I was pregnant...took a pregnancy test after 7 days and it was negative. 2 hours later my period showed up :(
To be honest I'm not the best person to give advice since, like I said, we were only trying for a month before a fell pregnant, but I think the most important thing is to have fun with it. Yes it's something you're constantly thinking about and yes it's stressful, but don't forget about actually enjoying all this extra "fun" you're having with your hubby. Plan something romantic one night or something. That's what we did :)
Good luck...it'd be awesome if you were already pregnant hehe! :)
I know that feeling all to well of trying to get pregnant and getting your heart's desire. My husband and I have been trying for two years, going on three. I told my husband, from the start, even before we got married, that I may not be able to have children, which partially broke my heart and soul to say outloud. I never wanted to bear children till I got married, but it is true, unnecessary stress will not help you to get pregnant.
Relax. Enjoy your husband and your time together without children, and stop trying. It will happen when it happens. The best advice that I was told by my gynecologist was to make love everyday, and it will turn out as it should.
I wish you the best of luck in conceiving your bundle of joy.
Happy thoughts.
www.meplussome.webs.com
My husband and I tried for 6 long, heartbreaking years.
We've given up. Its just not meant to be.
So we are foster parents and we are adopting the little monkey we have had for 3 years..
And honestly, the day we decided to stop perusing a dream that was just not meant to be, a huge weight lifted and I am a much less stressed wife.
My husband and I have been trying for about a year now, and with lots of testing and blood work and all of that, we've learned my body is 100% normal for a woman who doesn't ovulate at all. It's hard to learn that, but now that we know there is actually something wrong, it's almost a relief. It's still hard to realize that we have a long, hard road in front of us, but it's good to know that there are options for us. As far as how we're handling it, just one day at a time. I went for an HSG yesterday and ended up having to reschedule the test because my body decided to be normal for once in it's life and we can't do anything until we have the results from the HSG.
I know it's easy to say stop stressing out about it, but much harder to actually do. That being said you have to find a way to not stress about it. Stress definitely will not help. My husband and I are just now trying to conceive our last child. We've been trying for a couple weeks and I will be testing this weekend. I, too, have been overanalyzing everything. I keep having to tell myself over and over to relax about it.
honestly, after you figure out about when in the month you are peaking, just relax and quit stressing over it. have sex all throughout the month, especially when you generally pop and egg, and have fun. when it's work, and sex is planned it usually doesn't end with a baby (and if it does, your marriage may not be in the best shape). believe me, once you say "screw it, i don't care" it usually happens. :)
Don't stress it. If it's meant to happen it will happen in it's own time.
It took a couple years for me to get pregnant with my first. I have always had irregular periods, and my midwife finally told me I wasn't ovulating and did I want to persue infertility. I was heartbroken and majorly stressed; my husband didn't think it was a big deal. "Can't we just keep trying?" He asked. Um, if there's no egg, all the trying in the world won't help. His attitude made it worse. I call my little girl my miracle baby, and my little guy was born two days after her second birthday.
Wouldn't it be easier to just make love and enjoy that while you can before you have a child and things get... difficult?
It can be hard to stop stressing but it really is what is best. Have fun "trying" though & I wish you good luck!
My husband and I got pregnant (accidentally) within 6 weeks of dating. But I miscarried days after learning I was pregnant. I was crushed (even though I'd previously been freaking out & scared).
Then three years later after we'd been married for a year, we actually tried to get pregnant. It happened on the second month of trying.
Then almost three years after that we tried again to get pregnant and it took five long months. I feel bad saying that since I actually know a couple that tried for a year or two and then even with science helping it took them a year and a few IVF's to get pregnant. Still, it seemed like a long five months to me. My husband "knew it would happen eventually" but I had known a couple (in the daycare I used to work at) who became infertile AFTER their son was born. So I was a bit nervous.
We're going to be trying again here in the spring. I have no clue how long that will take. But while we tell teens that it only takes one time to get pregnant (very true), the odds are that you only have about a 25% chance each time you ovulate, of getting pregnant. Odd how that goes.
you are very lucky to have a husband who loves the ground you walk on. he seems very patient and understanding of your feelings of frustrations due to not knowing what is going on with your body.
this is an issue i have been having lately too, not necessarily with my body but in other aspects of my life and like a Godsend, a truly inspiring person reminded me that every second we spend worrying about 'what ifs' and 'what if nots' we are missing out on SO much that is happening RIGHT NOW.
the answers that you need will come to you at the right time, and others will never come. what's important is that we let go and become OK with not knowing (because lets face it ALWAYS wanting ALL the answers is just another form of control that we try to have over our lives instead of just going with the flow.)
you know you are trying to get pregnant so im sure you are being healthy and not doing anything that might hurt the baby if you DID become pregnant and didn't know it right away. so just try letting go of wanting o know RIGHT NOW and just enjoy the moments as they come to you - because like my friend once said about pink floyd - when you're ready for Pink Floyd, Pink Floyd is ready for you.
it's the same with everything in life i think. children, relationships, whatever. it'll happen when it is supposed to happen :)
good luck in your journey!
No way in Hades am I gonna give you a lecture on stress in this situation, man. Because you're obviously doing your best to not think about it, and because it is stressful and nerve-wracking. I know that for me personally, my anxiety comes from the fact that it does happen that some women just never conceive. People don't seem to understand that, when I'm stressed or anxious about having spent so much of my life trying for a child, I'm not looking for someone to give me some kind of hopeful mystical "it'll happen when it's supposed to" speech (which I don't agree with anyways, but that's neither here nor there, lol); I'm just expressing that I'm pretty upset about the possibility of losing out on such a huge part of life. The way you are feeling is totally normal, and the last thing you need is for those feelings to be invalidated. You are not selfish or weird for wanting a child. I just thought I would make it a point to let you know that.
I hope and pray that your day comes, and soon. Why some women have trouble and others don't will forever be a mystery to me. Best wishes to you, from the bottom of my heart.
There have been a couple of times where I thought I was pregnant. One of those times I was convinced I was growing a little baby inside of me. I felt love throughout my entire body. I felt bubbles in my stomach, which probably have been bowel movements. But I convinced to be pregnant. Took me a long time to realize I wasn't. No matter how negative pregnancy tests came out, I was still not having my period and every little change in my body took as proof. haha.
We're not yet trying to get pregnant, though if it would happen it's more than welcome. At least we're that far.
I wish you all the best.
Life just happens ... I was employed by a couple who gave up, and when the wife was 40, she just got pregnant.
Try cutting gluten out of your diet. I've read a few things about gluten being a bad protein for some reasons.
This is very frustrating. One of my best friends is going through it and it is very heartbreaking to see how sad she gets every time her period shows up. She's been trying for over a year and still can't get pregnant.
What happened to just having sex? Maybe its me but i've noticed that over the past 3-4 years there's been lots of talk amongst the people around me and on tv and where ever else all TRYING to have kids. Getting procedures,taking pills,weird ovulation thermometers.. Seems strange that people are going through this much trouble over something so simple. You have sex,ejaculate,baby. Done. All this stress is not helping the situation either. If you make sex a chore and schedule it and blah blah blah then yeah you're not going to conceive. Go get drunk and have a romp in the sheets. Thats how 98% of all of us were conceived. I'm sure it still works today.