Sunday, 02 January 2011
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SIDS, Statistics, and Frustration
"Mom, don't cover him. He's already in a sleeper and I don't want him hot. They say hot babies are prone to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)."
"Don't put him on his stomach if you aren't going to be watching him. It puts him at risk for SIDS."
"We have to take down the bumpers on the crib, because they say it might cause SIDS."
Sound familiar? For me, all of these have been said in the past 24 hours ... No, I am not exaggerating. And even worse, they have been said by me. Last night, I realized that I have become that mom - the overly paranoid first time mom that is so nervous about everything that I stress myself out. Funny thing is, I always told myself that I wouldn't.
Now, let me say this - I am not downplaying SIDS. I have a good friend whose son passed away at two months from SIDS. It is a tragic thing, and I would never wish that upon anybody's child.
With that said, I sometimes like to think that SIDS in infants is like cancer in adults - everything causes it, if you listen to the statistics. I used to work at a daycare, and as a requirement we had to take "training" classes on certain subjects - SIDS being one of them. Three hours of sitting and listening to a lady talk about how everything you do will raise your child's risk of SIDS. It was a very informative class, however sometimes I wonder if ignorance is really bliss when it comes to certain subjects. I am not saying I don't care about my child's life and safety. I am not saying that I find SIDS and the statistics to be ridiculous or something to be ignored. I just think that sometimes moms, like myself, have a tendency to worry too much about things like that.
The statistics say that boys are 20% more likely to die from SIDS than girls. So my son already has three strikes against him. After six months, typically the child is out of the "danger zone" but is still prone to it for the first year. The child needs to be placed on a firm mattress, and to remove all soft objects from around him/her. If a person around the baby smokes, whether in the house or not, it also raises the risk. The statistics also say that African American babies are more likely to die from SIDS than any other race. A child that is overheated can also be at risk, as well as a child that is co-sleeping with their parents. And definitely put the baby on their back to go to sleep. They say that once the baby can roll over on their own, they are typically out of that "danger zone."
Most importantly they say that SIDS is NOT preventable. There are no ways to tell what child will die from SIDS and what child won't. You can only lower the factors. It sucks because as a parent, I want to be able to control something as serious as life and death, and with SIDS, you can't.
I will be the first to say that as much as I DO know about SIDS, I seem to have broken some of these "rules" already. For example, we co-slept with our son for the first two months. He just couldn't sleep away from us. Literally by a stroke of luck, he has gotten used to sleeping in his crib, but his crib is in the room with us for now. I figure once he's about a year old or so, we will give him his own room. Maybe... Also, we have put him on his back to sleep sometimes. My boyfriend is a welder, works ten hours a day (at least) and has to be up by 5 AM. Our son, who just passed his two month mark, now sleeps for four to five hours at a time on his belly, not to mention he sleeps more soundly.
So usually at night we put him to sleep on his tummy. I mean, how many of our moms and grandmothers put their children to sleep on their bellies. My mom told me I would not sleep on my back as an infant. I am still alive, 23 years later. Not to justify it, but I don't leave him alone in the room, either.
Anyway.
I am at a crossroads. It might sound selfish but for the sake of my sanity, I don't see the problem with letting my baby sleep on his tummy. However, after classes and research, my brain keeps beating me up for doing so. It's hard, because I don't know what part of me to listen to. I look at moms in the past (or even my own mom, who has also worked at a day care for ten years after raising two kids), and they seemed to raise children just fine with no worry of SIDS or the SIDS rules. So I don't know.
At this point, I am just taking it one day at a time. I am not a perfect woman, or a perfect mom, but I am definitely trying my hardest. I know that between classes and my own research, I will probably find tons of other things to make me more of a worrier than I already am. And I don't know if I am okay with that or not, but I am pretty sure there isn't much I can do to stop it besides catching myself and reminding myself that everything will be okay.
What about other moms -do you worry about SIDS?
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- From: ThaPlatinumOne@xanga
- Name: Shannon
- About Me: Model, Mother, Student. I hold no punches. Hippie at heart. Hit me up on Twitter! @ThaPlatinumOne
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Comments (29)
If they claim there's no way to prevent SIDs, then I don't know why it makes sense to say that belly-sleeping creates a risk. They don't know what causes it.
I go with my instinct. If a baby sleeps better on her belly, then that's how she'll sleep. Sure, I might be checking on her constantly to make sure she's still breathing, but I do that no matter how either baby is sleeping.
I was a little bit worried about SIDS, but did put my daughter on her belly because she refused to sleep on her back. It made everyone happier. I still hesitate when telling people i put her on her belly to sleep because i feel like i'm being judged. Oh well....she's perfectly healthy and almost 2 years old now! We have another baby on the way and while i'll try the back for sleep, if it doesn't work, we'll be flipping him/her over and taking our chances. We also kept the bumpers in the crib.
The part of the whole sids paranoia thing is that they don't have the first clue why these babies quit breathing. My niece died of sids in her crib on her back. She had already stopped breathing twice before for no apparent reason. Once was just after birth on her back in the little warmer bed thing they put them in while cleaning them. The next time was in her mothers arms while being rocked to sleep. A friend of mine had a baby who also stopped breathing several times twice in the hospital and once while sitting in her car seat coming home both for no apparent reason but her doctor put the baby on a 24 hour a day monitor so when she stopped breathing alarms would go off and someone could help her get started breathing again. She's past the dangerous age now. The truth is that until they find out what causes sids for sure there will always be that niggling fear in the back of every mothers mind. You're doing what you can by using the information that's available and that's all you can do.
I have 4 kids, all have been tummy sleepers. All are still alive. :) You take precautions, do what you can, but sleep is necessary, and you do what you gotta do. I personally think people mix SIDS and suffocation up. Babies who die of true SIDS didn't die because they had a blanket or a stuffed animal. Those things cause babies a higher risk of suffocation if it gets in front of their face. SIDS is when a baby just stops breathing, no one knows why. Anyway, trust your instinct, you are the perfect mommy for your baby.
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - The reason why they say certain things are risk factors is because after a baby passes away from SIDS they interview the parents and ask them things like does anyone in the house smoke, was the baby on their back stomach or side, was he/she breast fed or not. And if the majority of babies who have passed from SIDS all share common answers it becomes a risk factor. I totaly agree though about going with your instinct.
@Luv2BMama@xanga - Who mixes SIDS with suffocation??
I think these bumpers are a great alternative to the standard ones. They are way more breathable than the standard ones but still keep baby from getting their arms or legs stuck in crib slats.
http://www.target.com/BreathableBaby-Breathable-Safer-Bumper-Blue/dp/B0013FGX98/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&searchView=grid5&keywords=bumper&fromGsearch=true&sr=1-3&qid=1294028698&rh=&searchRank=target104545&id=BreathableBaby%20Breathable%20Safer%20Bumper%20Blue&node=1038576%7C1287991011&searchSize=30&searchPage=1&searchNodeID=1038576%7C1287991011&searchBinNameList=subjectbin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&frombrowse=0
SIDS is scary, but your instincts are what you should trust. You sound very protective and vigilant, so do what makes you and your baby happy. :) Keep an eye out, but don't let the worry run your life.
I was a belly sleeper with bumpers and stuffed animals, and here I am today writing this comment.
There has been some suggestion that off-gassing has been the cause of SIDS all along, which proves the sleeping on the stomach, soft things, smokers issues.
I worried about SIDS constantly with my first son, and I was all up to following the rules, I swaddled him and placed him on his back, but soon we discovered he had a bad case of reflux and would spit up/vomit constantly on his back and he would wiggle till his arms were free and then get the startle reflex and wake up crying and this went on for weeks. During the day I put him on his tummy to sleep and he slept so soundly but at night I was too afraid to do that but at 6 weeks he could lift his head pretty well and I decided so that we could all sleep better I would put him on his tummy to bed, less spit up and more sleep. The day he slept through the night and didnt wake up for the night feeding I woke up that morning sure he had passed away from SIDS, thankfully he had only slept through the night... the worry is horrible
With my second I decided no this time I will follow the rules I didnt last time because of the reflux and this one doesnt have it, he slept on his back pretty well at first but then his startle reflex kicked in and he hated to be swaddled so we put him on his side, he slept better and at 4 weeks when I felt he lifted his head well enough I put him on his tummy and we've been getting a lot of better sleep since.I see babies sleeping so deeply on their backs and wonder how they do it, no startle kicks or anything, if my boys slept peacefully on their backs I would have kept them that way, but it just doesnt seem to work, you do what ya gotta do like they said, and good luck with the rest of the long road of motherhood.
you are behaving sensibly. if you have information that will safe guard your child, of course you should inform his other carers.
i see your behaviour as a sign of you becoming a protective mother because of the bond you have with your child. this relationship will benefit your boy. i know this because my mother is self absorbed and never bothered to protect me. I GOT HURT.
i bet you are doing a great job
My little guy has reflux pretty bad, so when he spits up it is a hefty amount. Although he sleeps pretty soundly on his belly, I am too scared to let him sleep that way unless I am awake, alert, and watching him the entire time. The only other place he sleeps is my arms or his swing. I’m trying to wean him off of both, but he will only sleep in his crib for about 10 minutes at a time… 15 with the wedge (I can’t get him to stop sliding down).
I hate that I co-sleep with him. I don’t do it every night… but I’m pretty darn close to. I only do it after his middle of the night/early morning feeding. He normally wants a bottle around 4:30-5:00. After all of that and getting him back to sleep it’s around 5:30-6:00 and I just climb into bed with him. My fiancé will wake up around that time for work so my son and I have the entire bed to ourselves. I know it’s wrong. I know there is no reason for it. I know I am putting him at risk…. but he sleeps so soundly with me and it allows the both of us to get enough rest to be happy and alert during most of the day. If I put him back in his swing the nose is too much for me and I cannot go back to sleep. Plus he will only sleep about half as long as he would in my arms. I know I need to get him past the middle of the night feeding, but he isn’t willing to go more than 5 to 6 hours without eating.
But yes… I have become a mom that is terrified of SIDS. To go along with what you said… it is a life or death matter for something that has just recently become your everything. How can that not scare the pants off of someone?
Just have to comment on the co-sleeping thing. There is no proof that co-sleeping increases a baby's risk of dying of SIDS. There is some evidence to suggest that co-sleeping reduces the rate of SIDS.
If a parent sleeps with his child, and rolls over onto the child, this isn't SIDS, it's overlay. If the child falls off the bed and smothers in sheets or items on the floor, this isn't SIDS, it's suffocation. If the parent is intoxicated, or taking drugs, and smothers the child, it's not SIDS. If the sleeping surface is unstable or promotes suffocation (couches, futons, small beds, close walls, gaps between mattress and headboard, etc), if the child smothers, it's not SIDS. I could go on and on.
What they HAVE found is that, when you remove those factors -- when you focus only on parents who sleep sober, have sturdy bed rails, a bed with adequate room and no gaps -- children actually have a lower rate of SIDS, likely due to the close proximity of the mother, which helps encourage breathing and night-waking -- which might not be fun for mom, but children who sleep "through the night" earlier are also more likely to die of SIDS. Co-sleeping also helps continue breast-feeding, which is another known factor for reduced SIDS rates.
I'm not saying co-sleeping is fool-proof or right for every family, but the research does not suggest that it increases true SIDS risk.
im no doctor but both of my kids were premie babys and in the hospital they slept on there bellys or sides. My youngest would forget to breath and they would have to shake him. if he was not hooked up to machines and fo4got to breath and if he would have passed then they would have said it was sids. to me sids is the child going into such a deep sleep andforgetting to breath so it dont mater how they sleep.
i guess some babies just can't hack it in the real world.
(patiently waits for rotten tomatoes and trolls)
This was a good post.
BTW, my husband is a welder too, just thought I'd throw that in there haha
SIDS is what causes panic in the first year, then every rash is meningitis, every bruise is leukemia... it keeps on going. If you, like me, are a worrier then everything will seem catastrophic. As a general rule, they won't sleep where they're uncomfortable. SIDS is scary, because we don't know what causes it at all. Don't sweat the small stuff, is my advice, but it's hard to follow!
I worry about my grandson because he snores. He's currently 9 months.
I too am constantly worried about SIDS. As if I don't have enough to stress about being a first time mom, I am constantly reminding my husband, mother and various family members/friends "no blankets in the crib! Make sure she sleeps on her back!" etc etc. I am sure I'm driving everyone, (myself included), crazy with paranoia but I can't help it.
@mydearparker@xanga - I don't know whether you mean for it to sound this way or not, but you sound terrified in this post. SIDS is a terrifying thing and something every parent new or not faces every time our children are put down for sleep, but you sound like you're just beating yourself up when all this concern shows you really care for your little one. :)
Don't be so harsh on yourself and don't be scared to relax the rules a little. If Jr. will only sleep with you and you can get him in the crib by the time he's 4-6 months old, perfect. If not and there's hangups along the way, so be it, but you sound like you're doing a wonderful job so don't stress. :)
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - You know, it sounds harsh, but many occurrences have happened to babies with problems breathing already since birth or those with something else they spotted wrong. The cases that didn't go down this way are also split into more cases where it was simply suffocation and SIDS ended up to blame. How do you think they got all of these ideas for smoking parents and blankets and whatnot?
In a way, you're right.
What I don't understand is how a baby can stop breathing twice before it leaves the hospital and that place sends it home to parents who aren't going to sleep until their kid is 12 months old without so much as a half assed answer. Nope, just an alarm system to alert you of this child's inability to keep breathing. o.o
@Mangonese@xanga - Wow. That makes sense. Everything you buy for a new baby is new [and is manufactured who knows where] and it's bound to release some chemicals. Huh. Never even thought about that.
@mydearparker@xanga - Please do some research on co-sleeping before beating yourself up over the perceived risks. You may find that co-sleeping is the best solution for your family.
Please also note that a lot of information out there on co-sleeping dangers were published a union of juvenile furniture manufacturers -- in other words, companies that build and sell cribs (and let's not forget the recent recall of hundreds of thousands of drop-side cribs). So, take it with a grain of salt.
Dr. Sears has published numerous sleep articles and books discussing the safety of co-sleeping as a protective measure against SIDS.
Personally, when my son was young enough to let me sleep with him, I loved being able to snuggle him, hold him, and breastfeed him without losing sleep.
@ncxcorexkid@xanga - Not only that, but the incidence of SIDS is higher in babies that are reusing bedding material, thus meaning that hand-me-downs to your last child puts them at the greatest risk of any of your children. The thought is that a type of fungus may grow and deteriorate the material of the mattress and bedding releasing trace amounts of antimony and other nasty elements that would otherwise be harmless to a human being, if they were bigger. Mixing these elements with CO2 (sleeping on the stomach, or using bumpers with no fan in the room) can cause the child to stop breathing. But that's only a theory.
Another interesting finding is the fact that most of the autopsied babies were found to have damage or anomalies in their medulla oblongatas, or the area of the brain that controls unthinking things like heart beat and breathing. They also had a higher incidence rate of staph and another type of bacteria in their systems (forgive me, I've forgotten the other bacteria). These babies were around the 8-10 week mark, which is the age group of the highest prevalence of SIDS. Oddly, this is also when the baby starts to lose some of the protective antibodies from the colostrum and begins to develop their own.
I really don't know what to think about it, but I can say that if I have a child, they'll be sleeping on their backs with newer tested bedding, in a sleep bag (tends to keep them from turning over), no or well-designed bumpers, and with a fan going in the room. Not only to prevent SIDS, but I think that's generally a better environment to keep a baby in anyway.
@Pluviaumbra@xanga - Well I look at it this way... before modern medicine, infant mortality was incredibly high, and people procreated more. From another view, animals have huge litters because there are always going to be a few weak ones who aren't going to survive. There are always going to be people who are born with really resilient genes and immune systems, as well as others who are not so lucky.
And in a way, it's almost like, the more we try to cure diseases, the harder nature is going to try to find a way to destroy us. Soon, it's gonna be like people are spontaneously combusting because there are no other ways to die from natural causes. I'm completely not serious about this second part, but its a darkly humorous thought.