Being a dad can be one of the most wonderful things in life. Sometimes it feels like I'm a superhero. You are on the top of the world, dividing right and wrong, dealing out justice when it is nowhere to be found. The people look up to you and respect you (most of the time).
Last night was not one of those moments....
I went to bed dreaming...dreaming that I was Batman (yeah, I know - a weird dream even for me). In my dream, I finally get to the part where Robin and I corner the Joker and Robin exclaims, "Holy Hand grenades Batman...He is throwing up!"
I think for a moment and say to myself that this makes no sense. I snap my eyes open only to hear, "Daddy, C_____ is throwing up!"
As I struggle to wake up fully, I try to inspect the situation. I see W____, my oldest son, in front of me saying, "Daddy, he is still throwing up!"
I gaze at the alarm clock. The blue 1:00 am is mocking me. I don't hear the normal barf sound, so I rise and check out what has happen.
As I walk in to the room, the throw-up smell invades my nose and I hear a nauseating "baaaaaarrrrrrffffffff." I say to my self, "Lord, don't let me throw up too!"
As I get to C___ , I see that he has apparently thrown up more than the accounted three times. The bed is covered in it, three covers are innocent casualties and he is still continuing to throw up.
I tell C____, "Run to the toilet, throw up there!"
As I follow C____, I see my son W_____, who normally is by my side no matter what, annexing himself to the living room because of the throw up.
I leave C___ in the bathroom as I continue clean up procedures. When I become half-way finished with clean up, I hear from my wife in our bedroom. "Is there anything I can do?"
I kind of chuckle at the thought of my wife helping. Where throw up plus kids are concerned, my wife has a less than a "superhero" stomach. I would end up doing a repeat of what I have already done except with a second mess representing the things my wife has eaten.
" I am handling it," I shout to her.
I finish the clean up and tuck my boys in. They both give me a hug and thank me. I crawl into bed and my wife thanks me for the clean up with a hug.
I am now thinking to myself that maybe this is a superhero moment. I conquered throw up, saved the day and received oodles of adoration. I was Barf-Man!