I hate her. And you all know which mom I'm talking about.
The one who is all smiles 100% of the time. The one whose every Facebook status is devoted to her "little darling." The one who is never annoyed or driven crazy by her children.
Her.
I can't take these women seriously. They don't seem human to me. Women who used to be so intelligent and versatile, and somehow seem to have lost themselves after becoming mothers.
I always wonder if they're faking it. If they actually are that devoted or if it's all for show. Perhaps I'm cynical, but I just can't understand it. I can't believe that after giving birth some moms can make their entire life center around this new creature, which, let's face it, is going to go off on their own some day.
As much as I love my time with my little one,
I love my ME time,and being a person of my own. And I hate the idea that I'm somehow inferior to Suzy Homemaker because of this.
Is there a particular type of mom that bothers you?
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Comments (51)
I guarantee it's fake. Not everyone is completely happy and satisfied all the time. It's just not possible....everyone has bad days. I live in a very unique culture (Utah) and a lot of families portray this perfect life to the outside. Deep down i know most of them are miserable because Utah has the highest rate of suicide among women in the world. Scary statistic. And if you look closely...behind their eyes you can tell. The eyes don't lie.
the mom who has the perfect kid. not saying i don't think my kid is perfect lol but i dunno. like the ones who "has your son done this yet?...oh well MY daughter has." over braggers i think annoy me. and yes of course the perfect moms. before 7am they have all the house work done, showered and fancied up, the kids showered and dressed and ready for whatever the day brings. lol. maybe i'm just a little jealous that i could never be that mom but hey...whatever. :)
The only moms who really annoy me are the ones who think that they are doing the mother thing perfectly and everyone who does it differently than they are is somehow inferior. They come in all shapes, sizes and parenting styles.
@beebizzle@xanga - OMG I hate that! It even bothers me when people reverse it, "Cadence is already crawling?? Little Johnny isn't crawling and he's older than her!" or whatever. It's like holy hell people, chill pill much? Different kids develop at different rates, it's not a huge deal. She had some things that she could do waaaay earlier than other kids and other things that she didn't do until much later than most. Doesn't make her better or worse than anyone!
Somebody called me one of those moms, because I breastfed and use cloth diapers and glass bottles. I don't enjoy the mom culture though. I don't want to talk bowel movements and development milestones with other mothers. I guess I'm antisocial.
Ha. My sister in law. She's not only a mom, but a pediatrician. We were at her house for thanksgiving, the year that my daughter was born.She proudly announced that she was glad she had all the answers for parenting. It didn't seem like she was just speaking medically, either. She said that after she asked us if our daughter was warm enough and we said yes.
I was also annoyed by women who would go "Is she warm enough? It's just the mom in me". I'm thinking "what, am I not a mom yet? did I miss something? lol. I may be a new mom, but I'm not a complete dunce, either." I can look back on that and laugh.
@tsh44@xanga - This I agree with.
I become irritated by the posts that insinuate that being a stay-at-home, breastfeeding, cloth-diapering mom means being the perfect mom. And any mom who does things slightly different than that is automatically a bad mom.
Makes me want to gag.
I do believe these Mom types are faking it and actually have some serious insecurity issues. You have to be pretty secure in who you are to admit fault.
Please don't tell me that this post was inspired by positive moms on facebook. Some of us actually prefer not to complain on our status updates. Sure, I don't understand how some mothers can revolve their life around their children, but I am not going to be get whiny just because I do not understand it.
These mothers are not the ones claiming to be perfect. You are insinuating that they are. I have noticed over the past month that I have brought up my children a lot in conversation with some of my friends, but I am the mother that will settle her toddler with some blocks, juice, and crackers and ignore him for as long as possible to get some personal time in. I am not a great mom, but by your logic I am that mother that is trying to rub it in other people's faces abut how awesome my children and I are.
Insecure much? The problem isn't the other moms. It's you.
@Nina1981@xanga - Good to hear you'll admit you aren't perfect. Have to admit though, those posts drive me up the wall. My sister is a formula-feeding, work-outside-the-home, disposable-diaper-using Mom and she is a great mom. But according to some of the entries I have found on here, she is just the opposite.
And all the posts about formula-fed babies are more sickly than breast-fed? lol - I am 100% formula fed and am very healthy, thank you very much.
It's all fake. No one is perfect. Those who seem the closest to perfect are usually the ones that are about to break. This was my mother...trust me, I've lived through it.
I agree, there's no way it's possible for a perfect mom to exist.
The type of mom's I don't understand most are those who take child-rearing to the extremes. I feel like certain aspects of parenting get blown way out of proportion and then the child is the one who suffers in the end. And though it's not always suffering in the literal sense, I still feel that emotional or developmental delays are present, and possibly permanent. I think that's my beef with it...because even after all the studies and all the research and all the recommendations, you still read about and find and know these types of moms and dads and how they've ignored all this factual evidence and raise their kids in these extreme ways. And I try to remember that they can raise their kids however they please but it still bothers me on the kids' behalf.
I'm sure it's fake. In public, my mother comes across as the "perfect mother." I've heard shit about it all my life... "You're so lucky to have your mom, I wish she was my mom, etc." But in the privacy of our own home, she's nothing close to perfect.
@tsh44@xanga - That annoys me as well. I was about to say that I really don't hate any kind of mom, but I can't stand people who think they are perfect and everyone else is a) killing or b) emotionally harming their child with their parenting choices.
I'm not fond of the ones that judge me for being who I am.
No, my house is not perfect (nor do I have a weekly maid like some folks).
No, my kids are not perfectly behaved 100% of the time (they're kids!).
No, I'm not an extreme attachment parent-er, nor do I come close to doing everything the mainstream way.
No, I don't like talking on the phone with screeching banshees in the background.
Get over it, it's my family and my life, not yours is my sentiment to those gals (who I then typically choose to not be around so much).
I don't necessarily think it's fake --- more positive thinking, instead of focusing so much on the negative. I try and think more positively, and I am getting better, but it's like a skill to be learned.
@beebizzle@xanga - That bothers me too, because I have twins and they a slightly behind the other children their age. Their smart, but have been shy most of their lives, so most people don't realize that they are actually smart. My son is finally starting to come out of his shell, but my daughter definitely is not. They're in preschool 3 days a week and the preschool teacher has yet to hold a conversation with my daughter because of how quiet and shy she is
@mommashannon@xanga - I agree with you. I struggle with my kids (and my house and my bills and my sanity) like everyone else. But I do try to present a "united front," as it were, to the public. It doesn't make the house work any easier if I waste time complaining about it. My kids won't behave any better if I let them look like wild rag-a-muffins in public. It doesn't make me a better mom to let the world see my complaining about all of the negative little things that happen every day. I know it's an old-fashioned way to think, but my grandmother used to always say "Don't air your dirty laundry in public." To me, that includes telling the whole world that your kids are driving you mad, that your husband's an ass, and that you'd rather run your head into a wall than wash the crayon off yet another wall.
I think the only "type" of mom I can't stand is one who feels the need to judge other mothers by her own standards. As long as her kids are clean, fed, and loved... it doesn't matter to me.
@mommashannon@xanga - Also...Your daughter will find her voice in her own time. My youngest brother is in the 4th grade. This is the first year he's had a teacher he's comfortable speaking to. He literally never spoke in school (even to other students) until this year. There's nothing wrong with him...he was just shy.
@kristinabean@xanga - I agree.
I like to share son's accomplishments, cute sayings, etc on social networking sites...while if he's driving me nuts I call my mom to air my complaints.
I'm not going to share with Facebook that my son pissed on the rug because he's mad at me (true story year and a half ago).
I'd never in a million years say anything negative about my husband on a social networking site, I will occasionally blog about him on my xanga...which is private. But I see all these people saying horrible things about their spouses on Facebook, when their spouse is FRIENDS with them...
my mom's awesome. SHe was the best when we were little. She didn't work then and we had fun together all day.
Now that I'm older we butt heads a lot. But we still have fun a lot.
Plus she's a civil, which im in college for, so I can still ask her for homework help.
She's perfect to me
My mother is like the typical 50's mom and expects me to me the stereotypical housewife woman. I'm sorry I want a good job for myself, play my video games and not have kids mother...oh well.
My aunt (married into the family) has 2 sisters. Her one sister, Teresa, has a 19 yr old daughter, Kara. Teresa's a sweet woman, a bit large, but friendly and caring. The problem I have with her? She tries to live vicariously through Kara. I don't know if this bothers Kara but I know if MY mom was like that, I'd go insane. Teresa's all up in Kara's dating business, what she does with friends etc. Kara doesn't live at home anymore (she's in college) yet Teresa will NOT let her go. She's currently trying to get Kara to get back with her ex boyfriend because both she and the mom of the boyfriend expect Kara and this guy to get married. Give the poor girl a break. I don't even like Kara all that much but I do feel bad for her, having a mom like that.
I actually don't know who you're talking about...haven't run into one of them in real life.
A. I don't hate the Perfect mom, lol. I'm actually jealous of the "perect mom!" Why couldn't I have been one of those (never losing her mind, or blowing her top, even for a moment!).
B. The kind I do hate: The one's that think they know everything and who have a solution to every problem that you might be silly enough to mention to them. These types, I guarantee, have kids with naturally "easy" temperaments, and they think all kids are made of the same mold. I always want to (but don't) suggest they go read a Childhood development, or psychology of personality book.
C. The kind I secretly adore watching: Betty Draper from Mad Men. She just doesn't like kids, hers, or any one elses. My favorite quote, from Seasons 2: she's getting in her car after horseback riding without changing her boots. Her friend asks, "Don't you hate getting manure in that?" Betty answers, "Little Children. What's the difference."