Monday, 20 December 2010
-
Advice Needed: What Do I Really Need for a New Baby?
Okay, moms who have been there/done that – I need some advice.I’m pregnant (still in the first trimester) and trying to plan out what the baby genuinely needs, and what kind of costs to expect: one-time and monthly or continuous costs.
My husband and I are not rich, but we know we’ll be able to make it work. We aren’t looking to fill up the house with unnecessary items – for both financial and practical reasons.
I’m going through all these books and it feels like I must be an idiot, because I can’t come up with THAT much in terms of up-front items that the baby genuinely *needs*. And I might be an idiot! So I’m trying to figure this out as soon as possible so that a) I can relax!, and b) this is a somewhat higher risk pregnancy (think low-high, if that makes sense) and there’s a good chance I’ll spend the last chunk on some form of bed rest, so I may not be able to do all of this later on.
Anyway, this is what I’ve come up with so far. PLEASE let me know what to add/change/any advice!
- I will be a stay-at-home mom, and so I will not have regular child-care costs.
- I intend on breastfeeding for a minimum of six months, hopefully for a year. If this does not work out, that’s okay. When the baby is able to eat solid foods, I will be preparing the food myself instead of buying baby food (most of the time!).
- I won’t be using a stroller or carrier-style car seat. I’m partially disabled and those things will not be a help to me – likely, more of a hindrance. I intend on using a sling or wrap style carrier, and a friend of mine is also giving me a carrier-style carseat that her daughter never used (it’s brand new, less than 2 years old, meets all current safety regulations) for instances where someone else is caring for the baby and that would be more convenient.
- I don’t intend on buying a crib right away. I would prefer a bassinet or co-sleeper or something similar. I’d really prefer to bed-share, but that won’t work for us. So I want the baby next to me at night, within arms reach.
- I have a pack’n’play already because I babysit a friend’s child often and that was just more convenient than moving one around all the time.
- For health care, the baby will likely be on state insurance for a while. My insurance won’t cover any dependents, and my husband’s job does not offer insurance. I am lucky to live in an area where nearly every pediatrician accepts state insurance patients. Obviously, that will change when my husband obtains a position that offers insurance.
- I would like to have a bouncer and/or play-mat, something that is lightweight and portable to hold and occupy the baby throughout the house.
- Diapers! We’re going to use disposables. We also just got a Sam’s Club membership at a discount through my husband’s job and intend on purchasing as many supplies there as possible (I did a brief online-price comparison between Sam’s and a few other large stores, and…yay savings! Hah)
Then we obviously have to think about clothes, shoes, wipes, bath/bath supplies, bottles and eating utensils, etc.
One thing I’ve noticed - EVERYTHING says “get a changing table” but I’ve honestly never seen anyone change their baby on a changing table. In fact, the only time I’ve seen it happen was when I used one myself when I was babysitting about ten years ago, and the kids didn’t even live there. It was the grandparents’ house and the kids were visiting from out of state.Do you use your changing table a lot? If yes, what features, etc. are important and helpful? If not, why, and where do you change your baby instead?
Basically, I’m looking for “what is necessary”, and “what is so helpful/useful/awesome it might as well fall in the necessary category.” I am definitely lucky in the respect that a great deal of my family members and cousins have recently had kids who are now entering the toddler stage, my family is very much a hand-me-down family and it has worked out fantastically for our parents and now for us.
Also, if it matters, I will be seeking to buy as much used as I can – obviously, as long as it’s not broken, unsafe, or something like that.Okay, I think that’s it! Yes, I’m clearly neurotic, but this is giving me something to do while I wait for my first ultrasound ( :D ) and it really is giving me peace of mind as I make a list of what we will and need to purchase, how much it will cost, and begin to project the monthly costs of having a baby.
Any advice, mamas?
Post from Momaroo reader
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to momaroo's Momaroo Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in momaroo's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (33)
I use my changing table every day, several times a day. Definitely not necessary....just get a lower dresser and put a changing pad on it. But if you have a wiggler, you'll want to change him/her on the floor anyone to prevent falls.
And for any of the necessities, buy used (like you said). You can get some great toys, walker, swing, play mat, etc. from church garage sales, consignment stores or Craigslist. Most of the stuff you only use for a couple months, so used is the way to go.
I've never used a changing table. I lay out a blanket on the floor or on the couch. A changing table would take up space I don't have, and once they could roll it was all over for me even if I'd used a changing table.
As for the sling/wrap, a lot of of them don't recommend you use them until the baby is a little older.
I personally think that the vast majority of baby products are unnecessary. I have been buying things as the need arises, so that I don't have an abundance of crap filling up my house. It's working well so far.
If you're interested and meet the income requirements, I highly recommend WIC (Women, Infant, Child). As a breastfeeding mom (or even if you formula feed) they will help cover the cost of some grocieries (even formula if you chose), and once you baby is 6 months old, they will provide you will baby food too in case you get tired of making your own. (I sure did!) It was a lifesaver and probably saved us between $70-100 dollars per month on things that we would have to buy anyway! Definitely look into it!
Also, this is a little ahead of schedule, but don't buy a high chair. I bought a booster seat from Target for $25 bucks that is portable. We've used it from 5 months up, and my daughter is now almost 2 years old and will fit in this thing forever, I swear. Here's the one I bought: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/180-8780738-2741322?asin=B001GQ2RWQ&AFID=Froogle_df&LNM=%7CB001GQ2RWQ&CPNG=
baby&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=B001GQ2RWQ&ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001
I personally liked having a changing table a lot and plan to keep using our for baby #2 (due in April). Otherwise just put a changing mat on top of a dresser; that will work fine too. Actually, we have a lot of counter space in our bathroom, so I've moved it in there for now as a precursor to potty training for my almost 2-year-old (plus it's much more convenient for plopping poop in the toilet and washing hands). If there's room in your bathroom, I highly recommend that.
Check out Mom-to-Mom sales or even Craigslist in your area for things like a playmat or bouncer seat (and clothes). You can buy them used for much less. A brand new play-mat can cost $70 bucks!! Yeah, right!
Congrats and good luck!
Necessities for me were some sort of rocker and a swing. I also just got a changing pad and put on top of her dresser vs getting a 'changing table'. I agree about the high chair... no need really. And for wraps/slings I heart the Moby wrap... you can use from birth depending on the wrap position and it's easy on the back.
I have an 8-week-old and the only changing table I have used is the one of my Chicco playard. i definitely recommend having a playard for the living room/family room and an additional one for your bedroom instead of a bassinet. We have a Graco Travel Lite that the baby sleeps in right next to me.
I would say the swing/bouncy seat is not a necessity for us. We got a Mamaroo and my baby hated it for the first 7 weeks of her life, and even though she likes it fine, now, we aren't in the habit of using it. The one thing she loves above all else is the Baby Bjorn. I also have a Moby wrap, which works fine, but she doesn't like having her head restricted. When I was looking for them, several people told me to try various kinds of carriers because every baby is different. I got the baby bjorn for $10 at a consignment sale and the moby with a coupon to keep the cost down.
As a breastfeeding mom, I definitely recommend a breast pump. It's a must-have if you ever want to leave the house without the baby, again.
Also be sure to have a few newborn sized items. Everyone told me that they don't stay in newborn very long, but my baby was in them more than a month and the 0-3 sizes, depending on the brand, are still on the bigger side. Because I only had a few newborn outfits, I ended up having to go out and buying more a week after she was born because I couldn't do laundry fast enough.
I use my changing table. My fiancé uses it as well. Then again we are tall, and trying to use a dresser or the floor is a strain on our backs. Our changing table is connected to his crib (that we have yet to use… it serves as storing stuff for him until he is/I am ready to put him in there). The changing table comes up to about right under my chest so it is really nice to be able to have him nice and high and change him. Plus the diaper pail (which is wonderful) is right next to it so it makes changing really easy. He is getting pretty tall pretty fast (2 months and already over 2 feet long!) so I don’t know how much longer we can use the changing table, but yes… ours gets tons and tons of use. I actually really dislike when we are out for a long time because I hate changing him on the floor. It strains me and he is already too tall for the changing mat we have (I keep forgetting I need to get a new one).
We had a changing table attachment on our pack and play... but our son from day 3 (when we brought him home) was too big and made it lop sided everytime he was in it. I was often scared he was going to fall out of it so we maybe used it twice. There just wasn't enough support. I say unless it has a solid foundation, don't waste your time (or money!) with it.
As far as bath time goes... once the "top" is off his/her belly button... baby LOVES bath time when Mommy is in the bath with him/her. It is the ONLY way to get my son to take a bath... so I'd skip on buying a tub, just wash him/her in the sink until you can put your baby's body underwater, and then go into the bath together. We bought a bathtub for him and it never gets used. Spend that money on a wipe warmer. I know it may seem like an unnecessary thing to buy, but it made diaper changes a MILLION times better for my son. Plus putting a warm wipe on him reduces the times he pees with the diaper off than when it is a cold wipe that hits him.
Clothes will depend on how often you will do laundry AND how much of a spitter your little one is and how many blow out he/she has. Invest in some quality bibs that cover a good amount of shoulder space (mine likes to turn his head and spit up on his shoulders). This will prevent spit up on the baby and less wardrobe changing. Honestly for newborns I really don't think they need more than 10-12 outfits (then again I did laundry once a week... sometimes twice). Also… get gowns. They make changing so much easier. My kid is now in the 3 month stuff, he grew out of newborn around 6.5-7 weeks old. Babies really could care less about pants. You only need around like 3 pairs of those. Don't get newborn socks. They grow out of those so fast. My son now only fits in 12-24 month socks (I am starting to realize just how big my baby is...)
Blankets: Unless your baby is tiny (and I mean TINY)… those “swaddle” receiving blankets don’t swaddle a thing. Swaddle Me type blankets that strap the baby in may look nice… but if your baby is a mover, they will roll VERY easy in them. My son was not even 2 weeks before he was able to roll onto his side in the Swaddle Me contraption. I stopped using it after that because I knew it’d only be a matter of time before he rolled himself onto his tummy. NOT good. I say they would be a waste of money and have the potential to be uber dangerous. My fiancé and I bought fleece fabric in 1 yard amounts. They are SUPER big and cost less than what many of the other blankets cost. My son loves to be wrapped up in them and they keep him nice and warm.
You are breastfeeding? GET A BOBBY. Only buy the waterproof covers, you do not need to waste money on the fancy and pricey decorative covers. The bobby even comes in handy around the 3rd trimester when sleeping is no fun.
Careful with the carrying wraps… if your little one is on the bigger side/does not like to be swaddled (NOT all babies like it)/has acid reflux/or you are short waisted the wraps really don’t work that well. I finally got my son to go into the moby wrap without screaming his head off… it only lasts for about 20 minutes at the absolute max.
Swings help. I would highly recommend one. My kid only sleeps in his swing or my arms.
I love my (ok well I guess it is his) bouncer. Make sure to get one that will hold a lot of weight. Some only go up to 25 pounds, and you will hit that mark before you know it! We are just about to hit 13 pounds with my son… and so a 25 pound bouncer would not last him very long. I think it is worth it to spend more money on a bouncer that will last longer than having to buy a cheaper one that holds less weight, and then needing a new one that will end up costing you more.
Hope this helps!
My must haves (I have a 3 month old).
- Pack N Play for downstairs- We use a crib sidecarred upstairs- We just bought a regular dresser as a changing table, I use it almost every diaper change! - Diapers (we use cloth) - Breast Pump, I just have a medela swing I use once a day- A few bottles- LOTS OF CLOTHES - Bouncy chair was a must have for us. Our son LOVES to be bounced! He doesn't care for the swing at all.- breast pads- lanolin Well baby is crying now, so thats all I can think of! Bye!
@SeeBeeWrite@xanga - Take a look at this site about slings: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/pdfs/slingpositioning.pdf From what I have studied, the hype about slings recently was due to parents using them incorrectly (either wrong position or wrong sling) and not keeping the safety rules in mind.
@mevlink@xanga - WIC is amazing! And really is a lifesaver sometimes! My daughter was allergic to EVERYTHING so she had to be on Similac Alimentum and that junk cost $25/ can!! it was insane but I couldn't even breastfeed so yes they're amazing!
Also, I would say sign up for ALL of coupons you can and look on Amazon a lot for diapers because a friend of mine clips coupons for them and last time she got a pack that was normally $22 something dollars and she paid $3.50ish.
You won't really know what ABSOLUTELY necessary for YOUR baby until he/she arrives. My daughter HAD to have a swing but some don't she absolutely HATED the bouncer... sometimes you just have to wait.
Also, instead of highchairs I would look into a bumbo or the fisher price booster that attach to your current table arrangements, the highchairs were always so big and un-necessary.
Never used our changing table...
I had a sling made for us special off of eBay cost me about $25 with shipping... never used it.
The only MUST have I have ever really gotten for anyone else because it was just so amazing was, "The Happiest Baby on the Block"
i have 2 kids and with my first we had everything, bouncy seat, swing, clothes galore...everything; with my son by the time we had him everything my daughter used i had sold...until recently (he's 3 months) all we had was a pack n play, clothes and his car seat...my MIL ended up buying me a boppy travel swing and I LOVE it and so does he... i think babies tend to prefer the papasan style of bouncies/swings since it sort of cacoons him...i definitely dont recommend a lot of receiving blankets, but do recommend something like the kiddopotamus swaddler blankets, my son cant get out of those and if your child ends up liking to be swadddled you'll be thankful you have one...if you are going to breastfeed get a pump as well as a bottle warmer, they're inexpensive and worth it if you ask me...and as far as clothes go you need less then wwhat you think is my recommendation. my son had too many for newborn, and too many for 0-3 months that he doesnt even wear half of them
i use a dresser as a changing table. they sell foam pads with a plastic lining, you screw the little flap into the back of the dresser.. etc.. it works very well for me. i would personally suggest getting some sort of distraction for the wall your going to place the dresser/changing table against. my son tries to grab all of the items that are on the table behind him (desitin, baby powder, thermometer etc).
good luck and congrats!
Absolutely necessary:
Diapers
Nurishment
Sleep sacks
Swaddling blankets
Safe place to sleep.
If you have those covered, you're set.
I'd reccommend using cloth diapers if you're interested in really saving just a ton of money in the long run, but you've already stated that you're doing disposables, so your mind is made up. =)
Breastfeeding will save an amazing amount of money, as well, and you're going to try for that so well done there.
On the clothing front, i recommend lots of sleep sacks. the kind that look like pillows. That'll be just about all your kid will need for the first, oh 6 weeks or so, especially around home. They keep the baby covered, are simple and easy to change diapers in, and are easy to change the child into and out of incase of accidents. You MIGHT need to get 4 or 5 "nice" or "real" outfits for outings to the Doctor/ church/ shopping but really, your child doesn't need a bunch of clothes....unless, ofcourse, someone gifts them to you. Then have fun!
Invest in swaddling blankets. It doesn't have to be the expensive kind, just receiving blankets will work but they're a blessing.
If you get a bassinette that's on the larger side, your child might can sleep in it for a long amount of time. We have a bassinette that's nearly double the size of a normal bedside bassinette and my daughter lasted in it untill she was nearly 5 months old. Even then she wasn't too big for it yet, my husband was just read for her to make the move to the crib.
The changing table: Someone gifted us a used one and i used it every single time i changed my daughter untill she hit a year. I seriously had no other space to use to change her so it was necessary, plus, since we use cloth- all my supplies were easy to store and keep up with at the changing table.
When we had a foster infant, i didn't have anything but a playyard to use with him, so i used the changing table attachment that came with the play yard. heh, i stored his diapers and wipes under the playyard in the little pink tub that the hospital gave us when we brought him home.
I love my changing table, high chair, super-saucer (no attached toys), swing, bouncer, crib, play-yard and receiving blankets. Not to mention diapers, bottles and baby clothes (SLEEPERS!!! I love them and have many), and many many fleecy blankets.
We are foster parents for infants so you can never really be sure what baby is going to like, so we have a lot of stuff stored in the basement. Because of this we also have 2 infant car seats (a regular one and one for preemies). You cannot put a baby in a regular rear-facing car seat, its just not safe. They are not big enough nor are their tiny bodies strong enough to withstand a crash. So for us an infant-only seat (with the carrying handle) is a must. We also have a "Snap N Go" because its a lot easier then a stroller for infant carriers.
I also have an uber comfy (tho ugly) chair with footstool that rocks.. and I could not live without that.
I second using a yard of fleece as a blanket. Great stuff! Also, if you're into sewing at all, buying a few single yards of flannel and hemming/serging the edges makes great receiving blankets that the baby won't grow out of so quickly because they're bigger than typical receiving blankets. I could still swaddle my 2-year-old in our receiving blankets if she would stand for it. As for a changing table, we used the storage under it...but not the changing part. Blanket on the floor all the way. Our daughter slept in her pack n play until she started sleeping in a big girl bed. And I adored my Sleepy Wrap. (Like a Moby...different brand.) I agree with skipping the high chair & getting a bumbo or something similar with a tray. Ours was also a play center. And a good bouncy seat is always a good buy. Check out craigslist, or consignment stores/sales. I almost bought nothing brand new for our babies. So expensive and they grow out of everything so fast.
my two cense would be a glider is a necessity . i lived in mine the first 6 months esp during night feedings. i also can't imagine not having the boppy pillow and baby ktan carrier. i used the boppy while nursing and had DD in the baby K'tan from day we got home from hospital. both got a ton of use and i usually gift either one at baby showers.
i barely used my changing table and swing only started using a bit at 7 + months.
diapers you can't ever have enough of....
Hope this helped...
And gowns/blanket sleeper "bags"!! Wonderful things!
i use a Baby K'tan carrier (it's sort of like a moby but already wrapped for you). it's so simple to use and is way less material than a wrap. i love it. throw it on easily and doesn't get as hot as the moby.
I have a dresser/changing table combo, and have used it alot! I could have honestly just thrown a blanket on the couch or floor though, and it works the same. Not an absolute must-have, but nice if you don't want to be uncomfortable crouching down lower and hurting your back.
A SWING is a must, to me. Absolutely great for the days when the baby just can't seem to want to be put down, and when you need a few moments of peace. I got a travel swing that folds up so it takes up less space and I can take it with me to grandma's house (and it costs less).
A baby carrier is nice, but only if your baby likes it. My first one did, my second one didn't care, my third one hated every second of it. Same thing with the swaddle me wrap (my first two liked it, third hated it).
A bassinet is great (by the way, also had one that was a bassinet/cradle/co-sleeper/changing table once too big for bassinet). A crib is worth the purchase, but I know a few who have forever used the pack-n-play as their crib...I would not.
Clothes, bathing supplies, if you are nursing get a hand-held pump (it saved me from quitting the 2nd and 3rd time around). I buy generic brand formula from Sam's Club and save a ton of money...only do-able if your baby will take any formula when you go that route. Some babies are fussy and require special formula.
Oh, definitely see if you qualify for WIC.
When the baby is at least 4 months old, invest in an exersaucer (or stationary bouncer). It saves me when I need my newly mobile baby to be in one place but be entertained and not bored for a few minutes so I can wash dishes or whatever.
Oh, a carseat is obviously a MUST! If you don't go with an infant carrier (which I could not imagine living without, great for bringing baby in and out and having a place to put them down), then get one that is a combo carseat (infant carrier up to 35 lbs, then can turn it around for toddlers). Don't just assume that your baby will last in the infant carrier alone until 1 year, my first two did, but my 3rd came out humongous and has outgrown the infant carrier at 7 months, and I need to buy another carseat now until he's big enough for the toddler one.
I don't have a child yet, so take my advice with a grain of salt- but I have two items you may want to ask other moms about, that seem like good ideas to me.
1- The Boppy pillow that goes around your waist for nursing. I used it when I was a nanny, to feed the baby or just hold him- my arm didn't get nearly as tired, it is so comfortable.
2- A small food mill. We used this in culinary school to puree foods. Skin and seeds won't go through the small holes, so it's great for making baby food. When the baby is big enough to eat regular foods, but still can't chew them, you can just put a portion of your meal through it. Supposedly doing that helps kids not be such picky eaters. Of course, you probably will have to exclude salt and other stuff- like I said, I don't have a child, so definitely double-check these, but they sound reasonable to me. Good luck!
You pretty much have everything covered. The only two things I couldn't live without are my Boppy and a Diaper Genie. The Boppy is amazing for breastfeeding (and bottle feeding too)!!! I could not live without it. And a lot of women will disagree with me on the Diaper Genie, but my daughter had really bad smelling poop and those diapers piling up will cause a stench. I love it. It's not really necessary, but it's super amazing to have! As for the changing table...we just got a dresser for the nursery and use that. We use it everyday. And the drawers we have divided out between the children for their clothes so it's definitely more useful than a classic changing table! Good luck on getting everything and congrats!
For breastfeeding: If you're set on it don't buy bottles or formula. People will think you're nuts but theres always 24hr WalMart if you're REALLY in a tight spot. If the bottle is there YOU WILL use it. So don't buy them. Pumping is a PITA anyway. Lots of the cheapy cloth diapers they sell at department stores (not to be used as diapers!) to use as bibs and spit rags while breastfeeding. Little babies are very messy eaters and the thin cloth diapers work great to put below baby's chin and under baby's face to keep the dribbles from getting on your clothes. A good nursing pillow. Some people like the Boppy, though I found it pretty useless as it put the baby too low. For newborn-6 months or so I liked one called "my breast friend". It straps around your way and stays snug around your belly. tuck a pillow under it to bring it up higher and provides stable surface so little babes so they aren't forever sinking like with the boppy. I didn't use bottles at all with my son and he BFed until 17 months so I have lots of experience with trial and error!
Changing table was useless for me... as was a bassinet. I changed my kids on a pad or waterproof mat I threw on the floor. I used a moses basket when they were small (saves space unlike bulky bassinet) then went to crib. I didn't do co-sleeping past about 2 months old simply because I need to constantly change positions due to back, neck, and arm pain. Both kids were great sleeping in a crib or moses basket. Big stroller was annoying, umbrella stroller was handy for those long events like the fair, parades, festivals, etc. I liked the Mai Tai for a carrier, though I usually just carried my kiddos in arms. Swing was a life saver at with both kids at times as was those little slanted bouncey chairs that recline. High chair was a waste. Just get one of the kind that straps right onto your dining room chair and has a removable tray. Playpen, useless aside from a couple months right around beginning of crawling stage though I never used one with my second. BABY GATES for the bathroom, stairs, and kitchen (if possible). Get a slanted seat with straps for bath time rather than a baby tub. They kick the slightest bit in a baby tub and it spills all over.
Lots of blankets (they get spit up on or pooped on a lot), lots of cloth diapers for messy babies, forget most of the bulky plastic junk, skip the bottles or at least don't buy formula if you want to breastfeed. If the temptation is there, you'll probably use it and end up with short supply which at that point most people won't work to correct. I suggest joining your local LLL for support. You'd be surprised at how difficult it is to continue breastfeeding beyond the first month, believe me... it takes LOTS of determination. Don't give yourself a hard time about it, we all make different choices, just letting you know it's something most are not prepared for or educated about.
Make sure you have a comfortable chair you can fall asleep in!
I'm sure theres more but I'll shut up now. :)
I made homemade baby food for my twins and plan on doing it for this one too :) Very cost-effective! I didn't use the changing table for a changing table, I used it for a dresser and a nice place to display pictures
There definitely seems to be alot of unnecessary baby suppies out there now. it you are worried about the over consumption of useless stuff, perhaps talking to friends and family from previous generations might help. Our grandparents got by on alot less and could tell you what is a life saver and what is just for looks. I think things like a baby swing/bouncer, pack & play and mats for early play and safety are a must. things like a baby wipe warmer is just extra. Oh and youll need a high qualify food processor if you are making your own baby food. put that on your wish list.