Since I became a single mom, I haven't been looking for a "replacement" boyfriend. I just go with the flow and if a good guy comes around, then good work! Besides, my daughter is #1!
I've run into some characters that have made me realize how crazy some guys my age can be and I've had to put up with my share guys like this! One guy gave me a whole story about how his son's mother left them and how he had to raise him by himself. I decided to give him a chance.
Later, I found out from a friend who knows his ex that no, she didn't abandon her son. She asked him to take care of him for a few months while she saved up money to move in a better neighborhood. He uses that story to lure girls in and has done it before... NEXT!
Another guy I had known for a while started talking to me again. He seemed nice until he started getting mad that I was putting my daughter first. Oh dear! Goodbye!
Finally, the one guy I thought would be a perfect addition to my life (as well as my daughter's) was a psychology major, nice smart, the whole 5 course meal! When I told him I had a daughter, he started ignoring me and got a pretty girlfriend the next week. UGH!
All of these experiences made me happy that its just me and my daughter. I actually used to put up with these guys and thought it was okay for them to walk all over me. Now, I've come to realize that single parents don't have to put up with this bad behavior just to have another male/female figure in the house. You can be perfectly happy being with your kid(s)!
Who knows? Maybe Mr. or Mrs. Perfect will come strolling by sooner or later.
Have you had bad dating experiences being a single mom/dad? Have guys/girls not talked to you because you have a child?
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Comments (6)
To put it bluntly having a kid is the great equalizer. Some men don't date single mothers because they know they wont be a priority when it comes to things the man want to do. Then there is the awkward moments that may occur with the father of the child. Alot of guys see women with kids as damaged goods or aren't ready to put up with things that come with dating a single mother. I've done it and we are still good friends today I even helped her get into the police academy.
It's a lot harder for a single parent, you have my respect.
@Evil10@xanga - when you put it that way, it does make sense. plus guys in their early 20s are still slightly immature. I guess they feel as if I'm going to MAKE them be her dad when I would HATE for a guy to feel obligated to take care of my child. She has parents. She doesn't need more.
I tried it briefly and decided it would be better to try to make things work with my daughter's dad after several crazies! Few guys made it past the "talking" phase and to an actual date. I always made it clear that my daughter and the older boys in my care have daddies that love and are there for them; I was not looking for a daddy for them, period. That seemed to make most of them feel better.
Unfortunately, it didn't make them any saner... One guy I hung out with for a night. A pilot. Handsome as all get out. Sweet. Total package. ...crazy as hell. Texted me the next day that he could fall in "lesbians" [love] with me and then tried to invite himself to my Thanksgiving celebration...with my then-ex and mom...after ONE hang out...not really even a date! Then there was the VP of operations for a major health care company. We spent several hours together where in I found out he, apparently, makes a ton of money, wants to settle down and "make it work" with someone because he's getting "old", should never be allowed to do home improvement projects on his own and did he mention he makes a ton of money? I felt like he was trying to bribe me into a relationship with him for the money. No, thanks. Then there was the auto mechanic. Cute. Had a son my daughter's age. Seemed decent. We talked via email a couple of times. I came down with a cold the day after Thanksgiving and had to work T-day through Monday of that week. I didn't get to check/answer my email for a few days. When I did, I had two from him; the first one continuing our last coversation and including his phone number. The second going off about how I, somehow, scammed him and was just a big fake because I hadn't called within 48 hours of him sending his number. Uh...what? *face palm*
So I feel ya. I don't know that having kids or not having them makes it any better or worse... I really just think most people are crazy and men are idiots. That is all. LOL
@filtered_sunlight - nice to see someone feels my agony with these crazy guys out there! lol. i'd try to work things out with my daughter's father, BUT, like an idiot, he jumped & got married to some way older girl out of the blue... yeah. he's crazy also, so I might as well be alone for now. lol
@Ich_liebe_michx3@xanga - *watches my daughter's father act like an ass* Yeah...there's a good chance I will see the day where I will buy a large piece of land somewhere North of here, build a house on it, and start collecting cats and firearms all by myself... LOL I'm making my peace with it...
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