Wednesday, 03 November 2010
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Motherhood: What They DIDN'T Tell Me
My baby boy was born two weeks early -October 25th, at 2:26 AM and weighed 7 pounds, 5 ounces, 19 inches long. You would think that a week and a day being a new mom isn't THAT big a deal. After all, during pregnancy, plenty of people are more than willing to offer more than enough advice on dealing with "new mommy-hood." I heard plenty about sleepless nights, leaky breasts, and all of the negatives.
However, there are plenty of things I was NEVER told about, either. I might be cursing myself by saying so, but it isn't THAT bad. (Knock on wood.) Of course, there are plenty of things that I was looking forward to (not always on the positive side) but in only a week and a day my baby boy has taught me plenty of things that I could have never expected.
-Nobody told me about how many t-shirts I would go through because of “let down.”
-Nobody warned me about how long it would take me to sit and write a simple blog. (I’m going on two days.)
-Nobody told me that as much as I love my mom, some of the “advice” she would give me would make me feel as if I am the worst mother in the world.
-No one warned me about how insecure I would feel about my body. I wish someone would have told me about the doubts I would start to get about my relationship (even though there is really no reason to doubt anything.)
-I definitely could have used a warning about all the accumulated “junk” that would occur around my house. A pack of diapers here, a receiving blanket there… However, not all things are bad.
-Nobody told me that he would be on a regular schedule. They all said I would be exhausted because he wouldn’t sleep at night, but he sleeps a good three hours or so. I wasn’t told about how I would be shocked at the fact that he smiles and laughs in his sleep.
-No one told me that I would suddenly become the world’s lightest sleeper.
-Nobody mentioned the fact that eventually your fears of being a bad mom will go away, although not quickly, and never completely.
-No one said that my most cherished moments would be seeing him and his dad both passed out on the couch.
I knew motherhood would be an adventure. However, what I didn’t know was the kind of adventure. It seems sometimes that we get so caught up in preconceived notions, our brains become so jammed with baby advice from 8 million people who are “experts,” and that we get so distracted thinking about all of the things we didn’t get accomplished, that as moms we often don’t take the time to stop and think about what we DO have.
I am not an expert mom. I am only a mom for a week and a day. I know life is going to be different, to say the least, and will be hard, but I know if the rest of my life will be anything like this first week has been, I am totally up for the challenge. I have so much I have to learn, and a lot more “techniques” of mommy-hood to tackle before they can be considered right, but I know with time, patience, and help, I can do it.
Were there situations "no one told you or warned you about" that caught you off guard when you were a new mom? What were some surprising things?
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About the Author
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- From: ThaPlatinumOne@xanga
- Name: Shannon
- About Me: Model, Mother, Student. I hold no punches. Hippie at heart. Hit me up on Twitter! @ThaPlatinumOne
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Comments (11)
Wonderful blog (it only took 2 days? Congrats! haha)..
I think the biggest thing for me that nobody told me about was, even though you have all this advice from said 8 million "experts", as soon as you become a mom, it's like you've known how to take care of your new baby your whole life. You might not know the right things to do immediately, but you know how to figure it out.
Becoming a mom is amazing. It's the hardest, most challenging, most incredibly wonderful job in the world.
Congratulations on your new little one. Enjoy ever single second with him, he will grow up so quickly.
I have been a mom for 5 1/2 years, and now have 4 children. One thing I have learned is to appreciate the comment, "they grow up so fast". Older people or people with older children always say this to you, and when you are not getting much sleep, struggling with a collicky baby, dealing with the "terrible twos" or whatever it is, you can only think, "oh my goodness, I wish they'd get past this stage." But it is so true how quickly they grow up and change. My oldest is only 5 1/2, but the past 5 years have gone by so quickly, it brings tears to my eyes already to look at pics of when he was tiny. It's amazing and beautiful being a mommy, but it's also hard and tiring. Enjoy your little one, even when he's fussy. They grow up so fast. ;)
You are lucky your little one sleeps. I feel lucky if mine gets close to 2 hours.
No one told me how much mine would talk. Since birth the kid hasn't shut up ;). While part of me loves to hear all his little sounds, it drives me nuts because I constantly have to check him to see if that was a "I need help" sound or a "this is me just filling the silence" sound. I am trying my hardest to tell the difference, but they all sound the same.
I totally agree with all of your "nobody told me" points. An additional one for me: Nobody told me I would sweat so darned much the first few weeks.
You are lucky that your little one sleeps. Mine had his days and nights backward for a few weeks.
I honestly think people are so quick to offer up the negatives about being a new parent because the positives are hard to put into words. There was no proper way to warn me about how much heartaching love I would have for my son. Or how I could possibly fall even more in love with my husband while watching him cuddle or play with our son. Warning people about the sleepless nights and leaky breasts is easier.
"Nobody told me that as much as I love my mom, some of the “advice” she would give me would make me feel as if I am the worst mother in the world. "
Hooooly crap I feel you on that one.
Congrats =)
I am mum and grandmum, just let your "comomsense" guide you, women are natural mothers, you have lots of wonderful moments in store for you, you will grow with your baby, ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE....DON'T FORGET THAT YOU ARE A WOMAN....A WIFE, NOT ONLY A MUM.
RITA
Nobody told me how bad postpartum depression could get.
No one told me how emotional I'd get.
No one ever told me how much guilt you'd feel for the first few months. I mean, every time I saw new moms, they had this glow. I never heard any complaints. I just figured I could take it all in stride. But then... the hormones changed so drastically and the lack of sleep took it's toll. I didn't feel bonded to my baby and it made me feel like a horrible mom.
@OhBoyYoshi@xanga - I completely hear you. Noone told me it could last 2 years either.
I smiled at all of these :) FWIW, noone told you, because you forget all these things so quickly. My oldest two and my youngest two kids are 6 years apart, and I felt like such a novice all over again when my third daughter was born. They change so quickly yet gradually at the same time, you forget what it's like.
No one ever told me that after my first...it would feel like I got hit by a bus because of the muscle constriction dealing with contractions. I only pushed for 12 minutes, and every last muscle in my body hurt.
No one ever told me how awful the bleeding would be for weeks after delivery, or that I would literally be afraid to poop or wipe even WITH pain killers and stool softeners. Those little mesh undies and ice pack pads were awesome. They gave me many.
No one ever told me how much drying up would hurt after a failed hand at producing an adequate amount of breast milk.
No one ever told me that a gassy little smile from a baby who's finally stopped crying could make me tear up.
Congrats!! It's funny that the numbers are so close together...I was three weeks early and my little boy was born on October 26 (I was induced on the 25, hoping he would come that day but he showed up a little later!), and he weighed 7 lbs 6 oz!
Gabriel is my first baby and no one told me over half the things that you mentioned! I pretty much expected him to cry a lot and not sleep at all through the night but that is not the case at all. I especially like the one about daddy and baby being passed out!