Thursday, 16 September 2010
So I've read lots of people online, as well as in parenting magazines, saying how lonely the life of a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) is. I've been a SAHM since my son was born in mid-2006.
I was lonely then because we lived in a state where I didn't know many people, and I wasn't completely happy living with my in-laws.
When we moved a few months after my son's birth we made friends through church quite quickly and we were pleasantly surprised. We met weekly with our Bible study group and it was great!
I had times when I felt sort of lonely because my friends seemed too "busy" to carve out time for me - yet I would occasionally hear a word here or there that they would sometimes meet up with other friends of theirs. Who knows the reasons, I try not to torture myself with reasons I infer (though I'm not always successful).
So it leaves me to believe that BEING a SAHM isn't lonely necessarily. It's all due to your circumstances and what you choose to do.
I think that's my case now. We've since moved away from our Bible study group and once again know virtually nobody - except for the few co-worker friends of my husband's who were also relocated here with the job.
We haven't tried hard enough to find a church here and use the excuse that my husband has to work during the Sunday morning services. So we've not gotten to know anyone through church. That would be our fault since we are available for evening service.
I'm nervous about meeting new people and so while I have access to moms groups/playgroups that meet online, I've not gone to any of the meet-ups.
During the summer, it truly isn't feasible since we have one of two vehicles without working A/C and it is too hot where we live to be able to go out with the kids in a vehicle without A/C. And it would be mean to ask my husband to go out in that vehicle as well. However, the other 8/9 months of the year, I very well can go out to these gatherings and because of my apprehension I've chosen not to. My fault.
For those who live in areas with family and friends, have you tried carving out a night where your husband, significant other, relative or another friend could watch your children so you can meet up with friends?
I'm SURE that it is possible even once a month, right? And I'm sure that friends without kids still adore our children, right? So why not take them with you when you meet your friend once in a while for lunch? Then go to the park and chat while the kids are playing?
I can say that being a SAHM means not getting to get together with friends as often as you may want to or may have done in your life before kids. But I just don't know if I buy into the "lonely life of the SAHM" routine.
Have you ever experienced loneliness as a mom -stay-at-home or work-outside-home? How did you combat the loneliness?