It's just not my thing, really. I love playing with my son, I love spending family time with my husband, I love having a clean house and cooking, but...I'd still rather be running myself ragged with work like I did pre-baby. Working half the week seriously keeps me sane and connected with the rest of the world.

Sometimes I believe that it is my place to be a stay at home mom, until my child is at least old enough to stay home alone. I think that would make me feel so fulfilled to be there for my child as much as they needed me. When I was young I hated going to babysitters, and being home alone. I wanted to spend time with my parents. As a result we do not know each other, and we argue all of the time.

I loved being a SAHM to my kids when they were little but honestly....I did find it boring at times when my 2 oldest were both under 4.  I just don't do carpet play well and I was so happy when my oldest daughter was old enough to really play with my son.  Even though I still have 2 under 3, and all of my kids are still at home (yay homeschooling!) there are definitely things I miss about those early years of motherhood.  I do miss the long days spent at the park just playing and exploring.  I miss the long morning cuddles in bed and the afternoon cuddle in front of PBS while we waited that last 1/2 hour for daddy to get home.  I miss sitting on the porch waiting for the trash truck because it was the highlight of my son's day and driving to a construction site to watch the "big trucks". 

We still do some of those early years things, picnics on the lawn and such, but it's just not the same with a mix of big and little kids, it's not better or worse necessarily just different.  I also now really appreciate the chance to go to work for a few hours out of the week.  It gives me time to have a little me time in the car and do something I love (teaching) for someone else.  My children love that I have a job, for some reason that makes them really proud, lol!  But they also love that I can homeschool them so we don't sacrifice any family time.  I guess I just feel like I'm lucky to have the best of both worlds and it works for us.  

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I have done the stay at home thing, and am doing it
temporarily right now. It takes a lot of getting used to. It is better
for my son and I if I choose certain days each week to focus on house
work, and the other days focusing on him and our time together.

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