Monday, 23 August 2010
I was raised by two women; my biological mother and her lover. The latter was around since infancy and she has more of my memories and fondness than my "real mother".
"Call her mommy" my 'real' mother would encourage when no one was around. Then, "I'm your mother" she would bellow when I preferred talking to her lover.
Being a mother is so much more than incubating a fetus in a womb for nine months. Mothering is a life-long commitment to nurture and protect another life. Who is my 'real mother'? And, could I have more than one mom?
My mom, Lucy, was very sick in my childhood-or so I'm told. Though I wonder how sick she could've been if she was able to conceive.
Her lover, Patty, took over our family since I was six-months-old. Patty came to every little league game, Honors Society banquet, and graduation.
Lucy, on the other hand, missed both my high school and college graduation. I didn't invite to her my university closing ceremonies because she faked a 24 hour illness on the day of my high school graduation.
I think Lucy 'fell ill' when I walked across the stage for the first time because she couldn't bear to see me, diploma in hand, with honors, and making a speech.
Throughout childhood, Lucy would tell me "You're gonna be pregnant by the time you're in 9th grade! You won't even graduate high school!"
I almost forgot this ominous damnation from Unlovely Lucy until a few months ago. I excelled in academia just to piss her off. Gladly, it worked.
Patty, her lover, has been the exact antithesis of Lucy. She's encouraged every endeavor, insisted on the follow through of every commitment, and assured me of my eminent success.
I didn't have two mommies growing up. I just called two women mommy. My 'real mother' is Patty, a saintly surrogate.
Fatherless girls call their deadbeat dads 'spear donors'. I call misfit mom's 'egg donors'.
Growing up in a gay household in the early 90's was a drama in and of itself, a blog in the making. But, I'm sure glad Patty came along and mothered me anyway.
Did you have an "unconventional family" growing up? Who do you call mom? Do you have more than one?