Friday, 30 July 2010
Cleaning and scrubbing will wait ’till tomorrow, but children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs! Dust go to sleep! I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep. – Ruth Hamilton
I read this quote recently and it got me thinking…
Near the end of my pregnancy, I had really had enough. I was past my due date, weighed 38 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, everything in sight was swollen and I couldn’t sleep. I really was miserable. A friend who had given birth 2 months prior gave me her words of wisdom. “Enjoy the sleep now, because after your daughter is born, you will wish you were still pregnant.”
REALLY? I thought that then, but now I can’t believe she said that. Some women suffer from post-partum depression, but I don’t think that was the case. I think she really meant it and still does. But I just can’t fathom having that feeling. O is now 2 months old. She is my first child. I love spending every moment with my daughter, even though it’s not always possible. And furthermore, I hate when others tell me I shouldn’t.
“You might ‘spoil’ the baby.” I find it hard to believe that I can spoil a baby by holding, cuddling, reading, and talking to her when all she is really able to do, is smile, cuddle, and listen. Her entertainment IS me! Sure I give her tummy time , let her swing, and try out her Bumbo chair, but my husband and I are her favorite and I’m glad that we are!!
I know that some people really struggle with the lack of sleep… which is understandable especially when every other person finds it necessary to tell you how THEIR CHILD slept through the night from day one. Really?? If they were breastfeeding that must have hurt!! I do love when O sleeps for 6 hours straight, but certainly don’t mind waking up in 2-4 hours to feed her. That’s my JOB!
I have to go back to work in another month and thus have tried (once so far) leaving O with a family member for an hour and a half while my husband and I had an anniversary dinner. I thought of her the whole time and was quite teary by the end… wanting badly to just hold my little girl. She was just over 6 weeks then and I don’t think I was ready to leave her… even though it was just an hour or so. I hope it gets easier!! I know I’ll worry about her all day. I’m glad that she’ll FINALLY take a bottle of pumped milk.
I’ll admit, motherhood hasn’t been simple. I’m working on getting my masters in mathematics and have perhaps took on the most difficult classes during the time O was 2 weeks all the way up through tomorrow.
Everyone told me I couldn’t do it with a newborn and I should just drop the program. I felt like that was the simple thing to do. I’m not a simple person. I had to at least TRY. I’m thankful for my friends within the program that answered my phone calls in the middle of the night while I worked on math while feeding O. I’m thankful O has given me needed breaks from the math when she wakes up and smiles at me. That smile makes everything worth it and reminds me every day to make sure I spend all the time I can with her, because “babies don’t keep.”
Have you ever wished you were still pregnant?
What are your suggestions for making leaving baby for work easier? I'm a high school teacher with only one 'break' which is my preparation period, so I'm "hoping" that I can still BF for at least awhile. I'm thinking of using fenugreek to help keep up my supply and be able to pump more.