Friday, 30 July 2010
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Going Back to Work After Having Baby -How Do You Make it Easier?
Cleaning and scrubbing will wait ’till tomorrow, but children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs! Dust go to sleep! I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep. – Ruth HamiltonI read this quote recently and it got me thinking…
Near the end of my pregnancy, I had really had enough. I was past my due date, weighed 38 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, everything in sight was swollen and I couldn’t sleep. I really was miserable. A friend who had given birth 2 months prior gave me her words of wisdom. “Enjoy the sleep now, because after your daughter is born, you will wish you were still pregnant.”
REALLY? I thought that then, but now I can’t believe she said that. Some women suffer from post-partum depression, but I don’t think that was the case. I think she really meant it and still does. But I just can’t fathom having that feeling. O is now 2 months old. She is my first child. I love spending every moment with my daughter, even though it’s not always possible. And furthermore, I hate when others tell me I shouldn’t.
“You might ‘spoil’ the baby.” I find it hard to believe that I can spoil a baby by holding, cuddling, reading, and talking to her when all she is really able to do, is smile, cuddle, and listen. Her entertainment IS me! Sure I give her tummy time , let her swing, and try out her Bumbo chair, but my husband and I are her favorite and I’m glad that we are!!
I know that some people really struggle with the lack of sleep… which is understandable especially when every other person finds it necessary to tell you how THEIR CHILD slept through the night from day one. Really?? If they were breastfeeding that must have hurt!! I do love when O sleeps for 6 hours straight, but certainly don’t mind waking up in 2-4 hours to feed her. That’s my JOB!
I have to go back to work in another month and thus have tried (once so far) leaving O with a family member for an hour and a half while my husband and I had an anniversary dinner. I thought of her the whole time and was quite teary by the end… wanting badly to just hold my little girl. She was just over 6 weeks then and I don’t think I was ready to leave her… even though it was just an hour or so. I hope it gets easier!! I know I’ll worry about her all day. I’m glad that she’ll FINALLY take a bottle of pumped milk.
I’ll admit, motherhood hasn’t been simple. I’m working on getting my masters in mathematics and have perhaps took on the most difficult classes during the time O was 2 weeks all the way up through tomorrow.
Everyone told me I couldn’t do it with a newborn and I should just drop the program. I felt like that was the simple thing to do. I’m not a simple person. I had to at least TRY. I’m thankful for my friends within the program that answered my phone calls in the middle of the night while I worked on math while feeding O. I’m thankful O has given me needed breaks from the math when she wakes up and smiles at me. That smile makes everything worth it and reminds me every day to make sure I spend all the time I can with her, because “babies don’t keep.”
Have you ever wished you were still pregnant?
What are your suggestions for making leaving baby for work easier? I'm a high school teacher with only one 'break' which is my preparation period, so I'm "hoping" that I can still BF for at least awhile. I'm thinking of using fenugreek to help keep up my supply and be able to pump more.
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- From: isumath07@xanga
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Comments (12)
I was hopeful about my milk supply when I worked only part time, too. But working with a hospital ER, well, I didn't get any breaks. We hardly ever even got to eat. I didn't have the heart to say "ok, yes, I know you're a sick patient and feel crappy and need this test done now, but I've gotta pump, see you in 15 minutes." So I didn't pump. And my milk supply suffered, even though I only worked 3 days a week.
It did not dwindle to nothing, though. I still breastfed my daughter every morning, evening (when I got home) and before bedtime. Until about 10 months when I just wasn't making enough to keep my daughter interested and she then preferred the bottle.
All in all, it wasn't bad, I do wish I could have done better for longer. But that was our situation at the time and I'm proud for what I was able to give her. You do what you can do, and try not to beat yourself up for what you can't.
It sounds like you have some negative people around who like to feed poisonous thoughts to you. I hope you can keep your bubble of peace and don't let those unhappy people cause you to expect what they experienced. You most often find what you look for.
You're doing great, Mama.
I don't think anything makes it easier to go back to work. It is something you just have to do.
I had not trouble with feeding my son even when I only got one break to pump. It was a 45 minute drive from my apartment to the office so I used to pump while I drove. When I was at home I used to pump one side while he nursed on the other side. At one point I would do this during the night, but stopped b/c I was making too many bottles.
One thing I would keep in mind when you first stop pumping is that the amount of milk you pump is not indicative of the amount of milk you are making. A pump is not as efficient at emptying the breast as a baby is. It takes a while for your breast to get used to responding to the pump and not all women respond to the pump well.
Fenugreek in combination with Goat's Rue worked for me.
well i dont know how my mom did it, but 16 days after she had me she went back to work.
& she was a single mother.i think she raised me with a pretty good life too considering it was all on her own.lol this is why my mother is my hero. : )
That first week after I had the baby, I wished I was still pregnant. That thought kept running through my mind at the hospital and it was not because I did not like spending time with my child. It was because I missed feeling the baby kick, feeling that he was safer inside me, and being able to take a nap whenever I felt tired. Instead, I get woken up ever 1.5 to 2 hours for a month straight after being awake 48 hours solid when I was in labor and worry about whether he is eating enough, too warm, too cold, gassy, or scared. My husband could not help with feedings because we could not afford a pump or formula at that time in our lives. To be honest, I did not really enjoy our son until he was almost three months old. It was not postpartum depression; just sheer exhaustion.
So, yes, there were times I still wished I was pregnant. I love being pregnant and am trying to enjoy this pregnancy too, but it's going by faster than the first one. :(
@snarkius@xanga - Thanks for your honesty. That definitely makes sense and perhaps was what my friend was/is feeling too. I hope that first month goes better this time around. Maybe this will fit your situation and maybe it won't, but our breast pump was covered by my insurance... just needed a prescription from the pediatrician or any other qualified person within the hospital. I just charged it to the hospital bill and it was covered. Something to look into anyway. I didn't know they were ever covered until a friend told me (one piece of advice I DID like, lol).
@isumath07@xanga - Huh, I didin't know you could do that either with insurance. That is definitely something to look into since everyone keeps saying that the cheap pumps don't really work.
Oh, and I didn't mean that comment to sound so depressing. Apparently I needed a nap. I didn't mention that all the sleep deprivation made everything giggly-funny so it wasn't a total loss.
@snarkius@xanga - Ours payed for the one that the hospital carried which was the medela pump and style advanced. Normally $240. Since we got it at the hospital we were also able to get custom fit attachments at no extra charge (well to us). It just took a quick call to customer service to find out if they covered it and whether I'd need a prescription.
Mommy Meditations is a great tool for women dealing with postpartum depression and other stresses that can follow childbirth. Mommy Meditations, http://www.MommyMeditations.com was developed with the help of Dr. Kerri Parks, ObGyn, who personally battled postpartum depression and the grief of losing her husband days before the birth of her fourth child. Mommy Meditations can help new moms recognize distress and ease into their postpartum bodies. Please check out the website and if you think it's something that could benefit your website visitors, please include it as a resource link.
http://www.MommyMeditations.com
I didn't go back to work after my two boys were born but also needed the extra income. So after a few months I set up a home Day-Care and over 20 years helped parents to raise 50 children.
I grew to love and enjoy them and they soon felt like a part of our family. In a home situation you run the risk of your child feeling torn between the day-care mother and their own mother. I explained to the moms that if you need to work , find the most loving place for your child to be all day. The child doesn't prefer the caregiver over their own mom but going from one to the other and making a fuss is what children" do " . The most loving place your child can be all day and a place where the day-care mom isn't a " Baby Sitter " is great for a child.
Everyday I would greet each child down on their level and tell them how happy I was that they came to spend the day with me. No matter what kind of day we had had , I told each of them I was looking forward to seeing them the next day. It was hard to say good-bye to them when they were in school full time. Find the best you can in childcare.
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I would think an important thing to consider is making sure your body is at least healthy enough to handle the work load. You definitely want to make sure that you are getting the nutrients you need, and taking supplements like certain probiotics for women. Of course you would want to talk to a doctor about exactly what to take as a nursing mother, but your body will need all the strength it can get. How did everything turn out for you?