I'm not going to lie and say that parenting is wonderful - many times it downright sucks! I spend so much of my day repeating myself:
- Keep your hands to yourself.
- Don't hit your sister with that.
- Give your brother back his toy.
- Don't get up and walk around while eating.
- Go get dressed.
- No hitting.
- No throwing balls in the house...
You catch my drift?
Everyday it's the same thing; I'm a broken record. No wonder they don't listen - perhaps I should change it up!
Parenting sucks when kids get sick. It sucks when they are hurt. But I think it sucks the most when as a parent, you can't fix
it; whatever it might be.
Went to a local event this past weekend. The kids had a blast and Hubs and I were beat! It was a fun thing to do on a beautiful weekend day. Unfortunately, half our county had the same idea. There were soooo many people there.
And that's how I got to witness other kids behavior
against towards my own. And I began to think to future years; to think about middle school. Yes, it's still far away - she's only five. But, I realized that at this age, BG's brain is starting to chronicle various events from her life into the "life lessons" and "childhood" folders that are forming in her head. Events that occur from now on
will shape the person she will become. And while I can't control other children and how they affect my daughter, I certainly can control how I treat her and what I teach her.
After some reflection here are the life lessons that I think her brain folders should contain:
1) I want her to have a strong self esteem.
2) I want her to know that she is loved! Loved by God, by her brother, by her father, and by me!
3) I want her to be a woman of God.
4) I want her to never be afraid to try something new - at least once.
5) I want her to NOT be a lemming and by this I don't necessarily mean that I want her to be a leader. She can be a follower, she just has to understand all the reasons first; not just follow for the sake of following.
6) And finally, I want her to never be afraid to be herself!
I think back to my own childhood. I look back at other childhoods from people in my life and these themes are recurring. These seem to be the things that have made or broken people. And so I battle with how to teach her these ever important things?
To be honest, I have no idea. Parenting, I feel, is learning as you go and sometimes, you don't even learn the lesson until it's too late.
But I do believe in teaching by example (I know I've said this before). I want to give my kids the tools they will need so that when they encounter the mean kid at school, that they are able to stand up for themselves. That they won't be bullied and they won't try so hard to fit in that it becomes detrimental. I want them to be able to tell me things; good and bad.
So far the one thing I know will work is to keep teaching my kids about God. You can't have a strong sense of self if you don't know where you came from. Or if you don't know where you're going. I pray that all the other life lessons will fall into place in due time.
What are some of the life lessons you hope your kids will learn? Does your faith play a strong part in the way you were raised or want to raise your children?
Post from Mommy Wizdom
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Comments (5)
Faith plays a HUGE role in my little family, although it doesn't play as big of a factor in my parenting now as it will when my daughter and future kids are older (my first is only 17 months old), when I plan to start teaching them God's Word. I definitely want my kids to grow up with the same things that you listed, things that I feel my parents failed to instill in me. I didn't find any of those things in myself until about the time I met my husband, who is an incredible man of God. I absolutely want to lead by example, and I think one of the best ways to do that is by modeling Christ's love in my marriage, while not stressing the small stuff.
Oh, and lots and lots of prayer!
Yes, Faith is huge. It is the cornerstone, it the rock I stand upon. Nothing else can hold me up when I hit those low times. My daughter is only 5 1/2 months old so I have a long way to go, but I agree..It does suck sometimes. When she had to be flown by helicopter to a larger hospital when she was only 3 months old with a medical emergency, I was thinking..."man I don't know if I can have more than one child." She struggles with severe eczema too, (which of course there are worse things). But it is hard to see your precious baby's skin tore up and sore and all itchy. It is hard when you are just so exhausted and baby wants to stay up. It is hard when you love your pets and the Dr. tells you that your baby may be allergic---"What give up my first baby?" To have to tell my mom that the dog she has had for 15 years might be hurting my daughter. It is sad. But, yes, faith and perserverance. I know there will be hard times. I really look up to my dad. He seems to get a lot of things right in life. His quote, "I had 5 kids and I had no idea what I was doing. I just loved them. If you really love them, hug them a lot, make sure they know that they are loved...then they'll turn out."
@mevlink@xanga - agreed. Show by example!
I agree that if children know they are loved, and you set clear boundaries for them, that is half the battle won (maybe even more than half...).
I think as parents, most of us (all of us?) just do the best we can. I try to make sure my son (3 years old) knows he can always come to me if he's scared, or hurt, or other kids are teasing him in the playground or at daycare. He's a bit of a mommy's boy, so I try to teach him to stand up for himself, too - not by hitting back, but by telling kids who tease him that they're not nice, and that he won't play with them if they behave like that. It seems to work so far. I have no idea what I'm going to do when he goes to school - I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it (although I do think about these things a lot!).
The learning curve for parenting is vertical