Thursday, 29 July 2010
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Things a New Mom Doesn't Want to Hear (And My Comments)
1. Oh you're still carrying your pregnancy weight. I lost all 60 lbs from my pregnancy the day after my daughter was born. (Oh yeah? I'm keeping the weight as a souvenir)
2. You should put a bow on you daughter so that people don't mistake her for a boy. (Um.... he is a BOY)
3. Is there a baby in there? (No, I just like to push around an empty baby carriage)
4. What are you feeding him? (Babies are supposed to be chubby)
5. Are you sure Matt is the father? (I get it, L looks like me...)
6. If you keep standing him up, he'll be bow legged. (Where is the science to back that statement?)
7. Stop holding him, you will spoil him. (Stop giving me crappy advice)
8. He's such a good boy, sitting so quietly while you eat. No wonder you haven't lost the weight. (Curse you woman, I am capable of causing you much pain)
9. Oh no, he got your chubby cheeks. (Ummmm... watch your back woman)
10. He's such a pretty boy... make sure you don't raise him gay. (no comment)
As much as you think these are all made up, these are REAL comments that were said to me in the past TWO weeks. Albeit, #s 4, 8 and 9 were all said by the SAME woman, a woman who has written her own death wish!
I forgot here's one more....
11. So when are you having your 2nd? (Ummm.... L is 2 months old. My uterus is closed - it hasn't fully recovered from the trauma from L's pregnancy and birth).
Has anyone ever said one of the above comments to you after giving birth? What insensitive comment could you add to this list?
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- From: Kimbergs@xanga
- Name: Mrs. G
- About Me: That's Mrs. G to You!
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Comments (81)
people are the worst. gosh. i got the "when are you having a 2nd one?" allll the time. now 19 months later we're trying for another hah. as for the rest, i'm sorry people are so rude to you. its hard for some of us to lose the baby weight but its def not something to be ashamed of. and congrats btw!!! my boy looks just like his daddy and nothing like me. you'd think my husband had him. haha.
I think I would cry if someone told me number one after having a baby! :(
Someone once commented on the fact that I didn't have a wedding ring on while I was pregnant. It was some random customer at my work. I wanted to punch her in the face. I'm sorry, am I not allowed to have a child when I'm not married? It's the 21st century...
Oh, I have heard the "are you sure he is the father one" a few times. Well no, I make it a habit to sleep around so it could be any number of men.
You just have to laugh and then quietly plot their demise.
I definitely got comments. I didn't really get negative comments about my weight. Most people said that I looked to thin to have just had a baby. The most irritating thing for me was people didn't really think he was my son. I guess they thought I was his wet nurse or something. People always thought he was a girl. First it was because he had a full head of hair when he was born and then it was because his hair turned curly. I just couldn't wrap my head around as to why the woman thought baby boys don't have curly hair.
Hmmm... I never cared what people said, so of course now that my daughter is almost 3 I can't remember a damn thing anyone ever said to me about her.
Well, aside from the fact that she was beautiful and perfect. XD
wow..... if anyone said number eight or ten to me, i might kill them.
These are so rude and tactless! don't people have any grace or manners?
I was once told that if celebrity moms could lose the baby weight so fast, so could I. I didn't really say anything, but nodded. Yeah, lets not compare celebrites to average real world people. we don't have multiple nanny's and personal trainers, thank you very much!
The one that stands out to me was a week or so after my son was born and a coworker saw me out at the 4H Fair. My mom was with me and she had my son in the stroller at a picnic table. I don't recall why I walked away, but I did and this woman who I always liked, greeted me warmly and then asked if I had the baby yet. My bubble had burst. I had FELT so much thinner even though I knew I still had weight to lose, but apparently I still looked 9 months pregnant! lol I will never forget that.
My FIL asked if my husband was the father. I was livid.
Wow. I'm due in 7 weeks... Hoping no one is that stupid!
A few days before I was due my son's aunt was voicing her fears that he'd be born stillborn or that there would be complications with the birth and he would die. I was horrified that she'd even bring up something like that. I told her that I didn't like to go into anything with a negative outlook and to please shut the f*ck up. In those exact words. She got my point and shut her yap. That's the only thing anyone ever said to me that I thought was rude or out of line, though. Some of these things that you've had said to you are just spiteful and mean. The person who is saying them needs to be set straight.
@bloggermama@xanga - Yes, some people are insensitive jerks. Others just don't know what to say, so blather about whatever is on their minds.
Some people think that everyone needs to be the same as they are. My own mother told me that my 2nd was fat. The doctor told me that she was underweight!
When my first was 14 months, she had a fever. The doctor said there was no infection, so suggested that I let her outside in her diaper to cool down. It was about 50 degrees outside. On the way home, I had to stop by the post office, and a stranger stopped me and gave me an intense lecture about letting my child be unclothed in such weather. My baby was happy, and giggling, and her hands were still very warm, but this stranger "knew more" than the child's doctor did!
When I was pregnant, someone told me that I needed to exercise more to feel better. The doctor confined me to bed.
Another person told me that the second was too pretty to be a boy. She is the spitting image of her father.
There are more examples. I suppose that people feel that they have to be important, and feel important when they are telling someone else that they know more about something! Every baby is different, so you, as the mom, know best about your own!
Thanks for letting us in on you vent!
I have been really sensitive to comments lately:
"he's kind of small for 9 months" (uh no, he's not, he's in the 80th percentile for height)
"he's loosing weight, we need to feed him more!"
(no, he's not loosing weight! he's getting taller and is significantly more active now that he's crawling and cruising... seriously, don't any of my in-laws understand that?!?!? I'm insulted when you tell me my son is loosing weight)
"she's not eating enough to make enough milk for him" (comment my MIL made to my DH, with attitude that would suggest she some sort of "expert" since she never breastfed a day in her life)
I have also gotten the "don't hold him so much, you're spoiling him". Ug.
The one that I constantly get about my daughter is that her legs are too chubby. Seriously people? She's a toddler at 1 year old!!! She walks better than most 18 month olds and you expect her not to have leg muscles that are well defined?!?!?!?!?! Besides, she's a baby, she's supposed to be chubby!!! Every time someone says something along those lines, I just want to punch them in their faces. Can people never lay off of the way that someone looks? Not even as a baby/toddler? For fucks sake, no wonder women have poor self-esteems!!! They are constantly criticized from the day they are born!!!
I'm terrified that when I get pregnant, my SIL will say something awful and I'll just hit her.
Sorry people are being so rude to you! My personal favorite comment I've gotten with number three: So, don't you guys know what causes that yet? Um, no. Please explain! And my little boy is a BIG boy..and someone asked why he wasn't walking yet. Maybe it's because he is only 7 months old. The same person then said, Oh well you should stop feeding him so much then, because he's kind of fat. Seriously. People are mean.
My daughter is 5 1/2 months but she is big. Looks almost more like a 9 month old or even older. People say "Wow I can't believe how fat she is!" I want to say Well, look at her mama and daddy's baby pics, we were chubby infants and perfectly normal weight now so buzz off! I like chubby cheeked babies!
My son is 14 months old and people still ask me when the baby is due. Dude, sorry for not getting a flat six-pack within your timeframe, people.
When I went for my son's 1 week checkup, a nurse ran to get a wheelchair because she saw me holding my stomach (I was cramping for a second - hello I'd just given birth 1 week prior) to rush me to labor and delivery. That hurt my feelings.
The wife of my husband's co-worker told me (and I'd never met her before, mind you) "you don't need to lose weight really, just get rid of the blubber on your belly." WOW! Thanks for that random, unsolicited piece of advice. She is my enemy now. LOL!
haha I'm going to be such a sassy mom
I hate the girls that loose all the weight after a baby. It sucks. I JUST manage some of mine and i still have another 10lbs to go. daughter just hit 9 months.
pft: I hope my daughter is a lesbian, at least she be a hot lesbian and i don't have to worry about boys. though... whenever i say that i get the snide comments about how dare i say that and how i am being rude, but eh
Every time we got out at least one person calls my son a girl...Even when he's in all blue. Them: "she's SO cute! What's her name?" Me: "HE. HE is so cute, thank you." -_-
@sunshineandrain78@xanga - yeah I have had that one.. "Don't you know what causes THAT!" And o do they all have the same father? Is thier dad still involed?
"If you keep standing him up, he'll be bow legged." We did this to our son basically from birth and he started walking at ten months. I think the science behind it is that it strengthened his legs.
"Stop holding him, you will spoil him." That's one thing I could actually agree with because we let him sit and play alone a lot and he's very happy and independent, while my niece and little brother were both held a LOT and walked late and are very whiny.
Haha 11...I've been asked this a lot also, and even though my son is already 18 months, I still give people dirty looks when asked that. He is more than enough for us right now. =]