Sometimes? When it feels like things are really going to come unraveled? It's best just to turn an episode of 'Dora the Explorer' on and just take a few minutes. (Not completely unlike the bedroom idea, but without the knocking at that door that Megan does. LOL)

just wait, three is worse.
But I hear you on the hitting. I HATE when my near three year old hits, and its only me he does it to. All I do it grab his hand before he connect, say "hands are NOT for hitting", spin him around and send him the other way. In public, I grab his hand before he connects, again say "hands are not for hitting" and leave it at that. If he screams or pitches a fit, the day out is over and we stay home until he starts to mind again. I refuse to tolerate being hit by a toddler.
I am now dealing with this spitting or "blowing raspberries" (sticking the tongue out and spitting). Again, only at me. How do I resolve this?  He has 3 big toys that his world would end if he lost, if he spits or hits, he loses one, the two, then the last one. And they can be gone for several days at a time. It is MUCH more effective for him then a time out.

i have tried time outs... to no avail... spanking too, with aidan spanking only taught him that hitting when you are mad is ok. [some kids take it deferentially] now we have moved on to a calmer approach... i take his toys away when he is acting badly. it doesnt even have to be one he plays with... he freaks out and realizes that i mean business. but it is different with all kids... you just have to experiment and see what works for your family.

we live in a small town home and there is really no good spot for time out.. no patter where we put him he can always find something to play with or do.... so that didnt teach him anything... and like i said, spankings just taught him to hit when he is mad... when he is being really out of control i send him to his room and tell him he can come back down when he is feeling better and can act like a big boy.

hope you can find something that works for your family!

We have taught my 2 year old nephew the idea of hugs, not hits. When he hits, we tell him hugs not hits, and he gives a hug, and we explain that hitting is not nice. I have noticed that he tends to hit less, and lately it is either when he is not getting enough attention or when we get him all excited and worked up and he needs a way to get the energy out. He has had a few time outs, but those are for when he acts out in a major way, like when he slammed another child on the head with his toy guitar.

My daughter is almost 3 now and the terrible 2s are almost over.

I've got a short temper though, so she has a short leash. That's probably why her terrible 2s were so short. I'm not afraid to hit my kid. My parents spanked me and I turned out just fine. I'm sure she will too. Depends on the offense though. Somethings just get a reprimand, but she has earned a smack in the face several times. She kicked one of my friends in the face (on purpose) and gave her a pretty severe bloody nose. That earned her a smack for sure. That is absolutely not okay. Trying to stab me with a pair of scissors was another one that got a smack. That's only when she does something so bad that I completely lose my temper though.

I think I might be a bad mom. My daughter was awful for a while though. Along with my curly hair and facial structure she inheritted my bad temper, need for rebellion, and strong will. So she's a little firecracker who always wants to piss me off and she's stubborn like an ass. Oh, and sh got my violent streak, and my mischievious nature. Lately, she's picked up my swearing as well.

Usually this is  what happens with us:

ANYTHING REALLY REALLY BAD: Smack.

ANYTHING KIND OF BAD: Spanking.

REFUSING TO FOLLOW ORDERS: I threaten her. For example, if I tell her to get in the car and she refuses, I tell her I'm leaving without her and get in the car and start the engine. Usually by this point she's been reduced to tears and is pounding on the door for me to let her in. Only had to do that a couple times though. She gets in everytime the first time I say now. :)

DISOBEYING ORDERS: I physically make her do it. She doesn't fight it anymore. For example, when she was younger she used to like throwing food on the floor and refusing to pick it up. I'd hold her down on the ground, take one hand in each of mine, and MAKE her pick up every single peice of it (usually it was like cheerios or something). So now, she knows it's easier and faster to just do it herself. Plus, if she does it willingly she knows where I keep the dust pan. Much easier.

Special things:
Not getting in shopping cart - wait outside the store until she does.
Screaming in car - pull over until she stops (the more she screams, the longer it takes)
Urinating/Deficating on the floor - make her sit on the toilet until the next time she has to go.

There are SOOO many disciplinary options to explore, spanking isn't the only option. And each kid is extremly unique so what works great for one kid wont work for them. One thing to do that a lot of parent's skip, is TALKING to your child. If they are old enough to communicate ASK them why they did that, and DIG DEEP its hard to get good answers out of upset kids. Sometime you both need to calm down, then ask. If a kid is acting out of their own nature, they are probably upset about something. If they can talk, ASK THEM.  I've nannied a LOT of kids over the years and here are a few of the things that have worked great for different kids. Time out, in various locations. One family has a corner the kids have to STAND looking at the corner, works GREAT. Another is time out, sitting on your bed, no toys or books, is GREAT if its close to nap time because they will nap out of boredom. Taking away beloved toys - for some kids this is AMAZING, for others they just don't care and move on to the next thing. If its a minor offense and the kid is just tired or upset, a quiet activity may be enough to chill them out. I used to ask, do you want to watch a movie, read a book, or color (all great quiet time activities, unless they get ramped up by movies, just gotta know the kid). 

I am not one to push books, but I have found one that has been very helpful in our house.
When I first got it I thought it would be for older children (4+ ish) but a lot of it can be applied to our near 3 year old too. As far as parenting books go (and i have 15+ of them) this one is by far the best book on the market.
Its called "Have a New Kid by Friday" by Dr Kevin Leman. Or check out "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours". Leman gives GREAT no nonsense tactics that really truly work. I would encourage any parent (even if you have good kids now) to pick up and read this book.

Constant threatening w/o any follow through gets old. The kid realizes there is no fire behind the threat, mommy is just talking. I'm sorry, my daughter will never get away with hitting me, esp. in public. I don't beat her, I actually prefer time out, but hitting is a zero tolerance action; She will get a spanking! I agree with other posters, 3 is worse than 2 to me. I believe in discipline because there is nothing worse than a mom whose kid is showing out in public, it just tells me what happens at home. Whatever technique you try, stick with it. Good luck.

My daughter (2 1/2) has gotten in trouble for hitting so she's taken to clapping her hand really loudly directly in front of my face.  Which she also gets in trouble for.  sigh.  Discipline is hard at this age - they are always testing you!

@thedommediaries@xanga - She's only 3 and you've smacked her in the face? I don't mean to judge, but that seems way out of line.

I've dealt with ill behaved children (They've given me bloody noses, and hit me), and have never resulted to smacking them in the face.

And I've potty trained a child, and it wasn't easy. But never did I punish them for having an accident (Unless, it wasn't and accident. I know children can be brats, and purposely poop/pee on the floor) ... I rewarded them when they used the toilet. If all they get is negative attention, that's all they'll seek, is how I see it.

The only time I spank is when the child is doing something that could potentially hurt them. They learn to relate that thing to pain, which is the goal.

And, yeah I was spanked as a child, a lot. My mother wished she had learned other methods by the time I was ... idk, 8? Physical pain, I learned, is temporary... If I had lost something for a week for doing something wrong, that'd hit the spot a lot harder. My mother never learned that, though.

The key to raising a child is patience.
I hear many parents say "I'm not rearranging my life to suit my 2 year old's." ... Sorry, then you shouldn't be a parent. Parenting is about rearranging your life, and that means ... learning some patience, and NOT hitting your child out of anger.

I don't have a kid, but I helped care for my half-brother from birth until age three, as well as my niece who is almost two. It was hard for me to help care for them because how I discipline is much different from how their parents would discipline them. For some reason, what always worked for me (which I learned from my mom), is if the child is being rude at home, just ignore them or give them a really mean, disgusted look. Whenever I'd do it to my brother, he'd get upset that I wasn't talking to him and he'd apologize and stop the bad behavior. He never mimicked me, thankfully, because then I wouldn't know what to do besides a good old time out.

@Shl3333@xanga - they were flipping out moreso for the smacking the child in the face thing, not spanking. I think that is extremely disrespectful no matter who does it to who, I am not a parent but a light spank is way different then smacking a 3 year old across the face. I would be traumatized. Plus, they said that they do it out of anger, so that is not even about disciplining the child it is taking your anger out on something else because your frusterated... eek

Two things to keep in mind - make sure you know the difference between a child being a child, and defiance.  For the first, you can use inappropriate behavior as a teaching moment, no need to punish for an innocent but inappropriate behavior.  Defiance, or deliberate disobedience does call for discipline - and young children need immediate feedback.  When my son first started kicking and yelling when he got frustrated with his toys, we took him away from the scene of frustration (I'm sure HE thought it was punishment, though that wasn't our intent because it wasn't defiance, it was that he didn't know how to deal with frustration) and told him that when that happens, he needs to say, "Mommy, Daddy, help please."  He's learned that and most of his frustration tantrums have disappeared.

Now, for disobedience - that second thing to keep in mind is never discipline in anger.  You can be creative about the best punishment, but don't do it in anger.  If you are going to spank, the best thing for both parent and child is to simply state, "You ran away when Mommy said come.  You are going to get one spank for that." (Spank) "Now, when mommy says come, you need to come.  Let's practice."  Then, set them down, holding their hand, and say, "Come here."  Bring them close, give them a big hug, tell them you love them, and it's over.  Other times, a different approach is more effective - My son loves being outside, but if he steps onto the parking lot (rather than the grass) we go inside immediately - unless, of course, Mommy or Daddy tell him to and/or are holding his hand.  I've even left ball games early for the same reason.  (We live pretty much IN the parking lot of a restaurant, so I can't tolerate games like them running away from me, without it being literally dangerous)

The biggest thing for me is to remember that I am training them.  My children are not a "finished" product, and each incident is an opportunity to teach.  It is only a bad reflection on me if I fail to use those teaching opportunities - the fact that they exist is simply normal.