I think it's too far if you come home incapacitated or end up with someone else (one night stand type stuff) all night. Needing to relax is one thing, partying excessively and binge drinking etc is another entirely. I think it's too much if it's more than once a week. Heck even once a week seems like a lot to me but I wouldn't judge it either.

But the main thing is how much time are we spending being a parent? I think it's sad if we spend less than half a day with our kids. It would be hard if my husband and I both had to work, but we would make it. There are sacrifices, like when I worked weekends and he worked during the week so one of us was always with the kids. I don't want someone else, some teacher, some daycare worker, some babysitter - whether they are a relative or not - raising my children. I am their parent. I do the raising.

I know EXACTLY what you mean. What's even worse it that it seems to almost be the norm among young parents, so a lot of people will assume you're a crappy parent just because you're young. 

I had numerous co-workers who worked 40 hour weeks with me, then dumped their kids the ENTIRE weekend with their grandparents (like THEY'RE the ones who chose to have a child)...and would party and sleep around. That is too much. 

When I think of parents, that both work, and still spend time with the kids, showing a balance of sorts, I think of Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. I read somewhere, that they made a promise, that if they were both gone, they would never be gone for more than 72 hours. This has meant, that if they are both at an awards show, or a concert weekend or something, they would slip away and go home, rather than cross that 72 hour mark. Spending time, and being there for the girls, means more to them, than a concert or an awards show.

What does this mean for a normal person? I could see  someone making a rule, that they would never spend more than X hours a day/week/month away from the kids, before coming home and spending QUALITY time with the kid(s)

@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - Huh, my mother-in-law has been taking my son overnight once a week for a while and he is not even two.  I do not see why it is sad.  It is just once a week and my son loves the time he spends with her.

Family is very important to us. If we do something then we do it as a family.  I don't care for "me" time or interacting with people except my husband's family and of course our family.  I think that young people in general do not realize that when you become pregnant your life is over as you know it. You now have to, no you are responsible for your child and your child has to come first, otherwise if you ca'n't deal with that then keep your legs shut and put the kid up for adoption to someone who knows how to parent.  If your coming home intoxicated or bringing over a different man or woman every night, that's a big problem and should be illegal.  Children need sober parents, not an intoxicated drunk or junkie who sells the kids for drugs.  I don't see anything wrong with going out once in a while as long as you don't do anything that impairs your judgment and you don't stay out until all hours of the night or end up being found dead in the ditch after a one-night stand or a binge at the bar.

My mom worked as a bartender, my dad at a liquor store. My mom would work from 4 pm-4 am every night. My dad from 9 am-5pm everyday. They would go out MANY weekends together and I would stay at my grandmothers with my brother. Sometimes we even went out with them or up to the lake on the boat. Some of the parties were at our house. I saw a lot of booze and liquor. I saw my parents drunk. I saw them hungover. Am I scarred for life? No. Were my parents "bad" parents? Hell no. They are fun-loving people who enjoy company and are social drinkers.
Parents need to understand that they can still have fun after they have a baby or a child. I have so many memories of alcohol, but it hasn't affected me one bit whatsoever. In fact, I rarely drink at all.

I guess everyone has different priorities. I'm going to reserve my judgment because I don't know what kind of situation these "parents" are in and I can only hope that as much as they love partying and drinking, they'll love their kids even more. 

My mom was one of those young party animal mom's when I was growing up. She was pregnant with her third child on her 21st birthday and she missed out on a lot of things that other people her age were doing.

I feel like she started trying to make up for the lost time once I got old enough to watch my brother and sisters by myself and she was out alllll the time. I hated it. I wouldn't sleep until she came home and I knew she was safe. She went through guys like it was nothing.

I always hated her lifestyle and the time away from us. But more than that I hated having to play mommy when she was gone. I could never put it into words how I felt until I was little older and one day I finally had enough and told her she was acting like a teenager.

I've gone out three times without my son since he was born- all three times once he was already asleep (he stayed with my mother) and I was there before he woke up. He's 14 months old. I enjoyed those 3 times, but I don't feel like I needed more. That averages out to like once every 3 months? And every time felt really special, to be out with friends and not have to worry about him for an hour or two.  The last time a guy was talking to me, and I mentioned I had a (then) year old son, and he was like disgusted that I would be out. I was kind of annoyed, because I was having ONE drink ONE block from my house with a friend, I'm hardly some party animal. So I wouldn't be quick to judge someone else.

 But rather than going out  at night and drinking, I'd rather just get some "alone" time once a week, maybe have an hour every week to go have a coffee or read by myself. I miss being alone more than any "social scene". But I also was 23 when he was born, so I had time to party and go out before I got pregnant. 

Good question but the better question is who says you can't be a parent and have a social life? Being grown doesn't mean sitting around the house collecting dust, and it doesn't mean that you can't have a good time with other people who have children either. I mean hell you will have all the time to sleep when your dead. I mean you can still live your life and have a good time too while raising your children. You just have to find the balance between having some adult time and spending time with your kids and doing the family thing.

I think especially parents who have decided to have more than one child, need to realize that they are a parent first and formost. Because in the end they did choose to be a parent, so they definitely need to start acting like one. I think its beyond ridiculous when a parent decides to party every weekend.. because they "deserve" to... especially those who are looking for someone, a guy/ girl. Seriously... you chose to be a god damn parent... start acting like one.