Thursday, 06 May 2010

• Two Weeks Of Hell

  

  Mother's intuition.
  
  Everyone says that when somethings wrong, you'll know. You'll get mothers intuition. When I first found out I was pregnant I was afraid that I wasn't cut out to be a mother. That I wouldn't be any good at it. What if something happened? What if something goes wrong? What if he gets sick and I don't notice?

  Well, I was told I would develop mother's intuition. And that's exactly what happened.

  In the beginning of April, my son started coming down with a cold. He was only 6 and a half weeks old. I was kind of worried about it since he was getting sick a lot and was congested quite a bit. I talked to my mom about it, hoping to get some advice. She told me that if I'm so worried I should take him in to the doctors. So, that was exactly what I did. I made an appointment with a doctor. I took Julian in and the doctor gave him a look over. I was told that everything was fine it was just a common cold and it would pass in no time.

  Taking him home, I fed him again at two in the afternoon. Again, he threw it all up. I tried again at five, and again he got sick. He had finally went down for his nap, which I thought would maybe help him out a bit, just like the rest of us, sleep it off. He had continued to sleep all night. I checked on him regularly, kind of worried, but the doctor had assured me he was fine.

  Finally at one in the morning while he was still asleep and had a dry diaper. I knew something was wrong. I had a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach all day, but because of a doctor I had kept trying to dismiss it.

  Finally giving in to my intuition, I took him into the hospital. They admitted him immediately and started him on I.V. He was extremely dehydrated and had become unresponsive, very lethargic. The doctor had actually told me that if I had waiting until morning, he would be dead.

  

  The very thought of that possibility gripped at my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick. I felt like a horrible mother. I broke down and started crying once the doctor had left. I sat at his bedside and balled my eyes out like a child.

  I thought that I was right when I was pregnant. That I couldn't do this, any of it. That I wouldn't be a good mother. I was questioning myself. My mom had came to the hospital for support. When I explained to her how I felt and what was going through my head. That was when she told me that I had developed mother's intuition. That even though the doctor had told me everything was fine I had a feeling -one I couldn't explain. Just a feeling. And that feeling alone proved that I was going to be a good mother.

  My son had spent two weeks in the hospital. Everything from daily blood tests to a lumbar puncture [spinal tap]. My poor baby was stuck with so many needles, I couldn't even count. Eventually the tests results came back. He had tested positive for infection in both his stool, and his blood. No idea how he had gotten either. The doctors believe that the blood infection was a result of being poked so many times. Every time they had tried taking him off the I.V he got dehydrated again. It took two weeks to get him back to his happy healthy self. But we did it! We pulled through.

  

  Now, when I have a bad feeling, I'm going to act on it immediately. And if I don't like the answer I get from one doctor, I'll go to another. Mother's intuition -it is a powerful thing.

  • 8:19 PM
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