Thursday, 11 March 2010
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Birdnesting -Kids Stay and Parents Go In and Out
Birdnesters is the term used for divorcing couples who choose to bear all the discomfort of the divorce by leaving the kids in the house. The kids stay at one house, and the parents move in and out, as the kid would in a "normal" divorce.
I think this would be more stable for the child, but then again it would be so expensive to maintain three homes between the parents.
Do you think birdnesting is a good idea? What's your opinion?
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Comments (12)
I think it's definitely a good idea. Children shouldn't have to feel like they don't have a home, or have to carry things back and forth.
That sounds amazingly dysfunctional, inconvenient, and opening the door to way more parental arguments than necessary.
@milfncookies@xanga - I agree. Wouldn't it be weird to sleep in the bed that your ex slept in the night before? No thanks.
Its what Jon and Kate do. Kind of.....
Wow....I want to hit the person who came up with the concept. The parents are suffering just as much as the kids are. Yes, the kid misses mommy and daddy and is confused, but the parents just divorced the person they've thrown away a great deal of their life with and has to start over, physically, emotionally, *and* financially. The kid will still be a kid with only that emotional aspect, perhaps the physical. The kid will learn, grow, and develop. Accommodating the kid can potentially give them a sense of control and will be in charge and determining the life of the parent when it is the parent's job to lead and teach the child no matter the situation. What if parent 1 wants to remarry, but oh no, I'm sorry, I'm off limits a great deal of the time because I have to juggle my career, you, my ex, and go stay with my kid who now owns the house that *I* helped to buy. I think it's outrageously ridiculous.
I come from a divorced home in which I wound up staying at a neighbors place (a close one, at that) while my Mom (who I was going to live with) had everything set up. She had been planning it while we all were living at home and while my parents were fighting more often than not. Until then, I was a little screwed up in the head because of the entire thing. All that I knew had been a lie (that's how I saw it, at least) and I wasn't sure what to believe or what was going on. Until my parents had come to an agreement about holidays and visitation -- I was a ping-pong ball just bouncing back and forth every other hour or so. I hated it and cried every night. Mainly because I just wanted to spend at least one holiday with one of my parents. I blamed myself, cause I was the only child, for many years. But I finally got over it. Once court was done. God that was tedious as anything.
Divorce is messed up in general, especially if it's nasty. I don't think there's a "better" situation for anyone involved.
this would be a waste of resources if it took 3 houses. Unless the parents were going to live w/ their new partners, a family member etc. I suppose they could each have a separate room in their original house. Probably very sad for everyone involved though. I have heard divorce is so unhealthy for the earth since it means family units taking up so many more resources to have two houses, two electric bills etc. whereas it was consolidated originally.
never heard of this, i wish my parents used this approach when they were getting a divorce
In all honesty, it would only take two houses, not three, but the exes would have to work closely together for that to work.
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i don't even know... i think i'd see if we can work out a sort of partnership & just stay together for the kids. To uproot everything... i dunno. I just hate it when people get divorced & they suddenly hate each other & can't stand to be around one another. It's ridiculous.