Tuesday, 02 March 2010
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Having a Baby is Not as Easy as I Thought...
Yesterday, I decided to give my teenage sister break from her 16 month-old baby Ana. Being that my sister was very sick I decided to head out real quick and be back before the baby had woke up. But before I could put on my pants the baby was already up, and I decided to take her with me.
I realized how hard it was to actually get her dressed.. It took me about twenty minutes more than the time I take to dress myself. What made it even more hard and took even longer was chasing her to get her dressed. Whenever she heard me say "come here Ana" she just took off running and laughing at the same time. I almost got stressed at that very moment, but I kept telling myself you can do it. And I did.The next part was pushing her in her stroller while I was walking to cash something I got in the mail a few days ago. I had to pick her stroller up because there was still snow on the sidewalk from the snow storm we had two days in a row last Thursday and Friday, and as much as I tried to push through it, it still wouldn‘t move through it. So, I took her and walked in the street constantly turning around looking out for moving cars.
After I cashed my check I thought it wouldn’t be so bad to get a few things for the house while I was out. The whole time while I was in the store I was trying to figure out how to carry some of the items without stuffing the bottom of her carriage, and without people thinking I was stealing. I did manage to get a few items just by holding some of them and pushing the stroller with my other hand. And it was bad enough that when I did get outside the store the bags ripped and everything fell out.
I then decided that I was going to take the bus instead of walking back home. I don’t have a car or any other way to get around besides taking public transportation. In New York City, public transportation can be very hard on you especially if you have a baby in a stroller. They always order you to take your baby out regardless if you can or cannot. Believe me, my sister goes through it too since she takes her baby to school with her. And she always has a hard time with the bus drivers. But there are bus drivers that you do meet that don’t mind and who would help you on and off the bus with your bags, stroller, etc…
It was easy getting on the bus with Ana, but when the bus came to my stop it was even hard to get off because there was a mountain of snow right in front of me. One of the passengers was actually nice enough to help me off the bus and through the mountain of snow.
When I got home I hugged my sister, and told her I took a walk in her shoes and realized it wasn’t as easy as I thought. I went through the whole day taking care of my niece and I realized how hard it really was. I babysit her all the time but those four or five hours is nothing compared to a full day of caring for a baby. It was very challenging.
What's the most challenging aspect of having a baby?
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- From: Glory_Ah
- Name: Glory_Ah
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Comments (26)
I still think the most challenging aspect might be dealing with temper tantrums and unexpected terrible behaviours! Not only is it difficult to instill why it's not acceptable in the kid sometimes, but often you find yourself apologizing to random people for the way your kid has behaved. (I don't have a kid, but this is just what I see pretty often!)
@KittySolntsova@xanga - That's the biggest obstacle I'm worried about, one day, if I have kids :-s
I tell my friend that all the time. She's always saying how she's pratically raised this child and this child and I tell her but that's just babysitting. It's much more different when it's your child. Because ALL the responsibility is on you.
Being a mother is easy for me since I've been around kids all my life. My mom babysat in the home, so I've been around all ages. Without that I'm pretty sure I would have gone crazy. I know what to expect from my daughter and at what age. She can be a handful at times like any other child. She does get sick often which is a bit challenging for me. I have to care for whatever it is and if it's bad enough take her to the doctor and go through that whole process. Then there's the whole getting WIC and food stamps. I hate that part lol.
Good for you, helping out your sister when she's sick! It sounds like you're a very good Aunt!
For me, I'd say the hardest part about having kids is juggling spending time between them. I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old and they both want 100% of my attention 100% of the time. And then there's house work to be done, and then my hubby wants attention (and "attention") and that leaves very little to no time for me just to do things for myself. I mean, I haven't shaved my legs in 2 weeks simply because I can't find the time! I don't know how moms with 3 or more kids do it!! It only leave me to wonder, do I spend too much time playing with them during the day? Do I just need to plop them down in front of the tv and go scrub the bathrooms and mop every floor and fold the mountain of laundry? I don't know. These are things as a mother of two boys that I'm still trying to figure out.
I know its not easy having a child, but I don't think it would be to bad as long as once in a while you had someone give you a few hours break. I've been babysitting since I was 13, so for 5 years now i've kept my nephew who is special needs, and i watch my cousins baby 8 hours a day almost everyday. sometimes i have them both together, which can get diffucult, one will want to eat and the other needs a nap. but i can do it. i know at the end of the day though, im ready for someone else to help out.
I'm with @ChicaLaLoca@xanga. A lot of the struggle is finding time to do the things that I want to do. Yes, I love my kids and would do anything for them. But I am still a human with interests and needs of my own. The older kids skip off to school and it is nice to have that break, but the 15 month old and I are together day in and day out. I have to wipe her nose and her butt. I have to feed her and hold her and bend my sleep schedule to her will. (Thus it's 2am and she just went to sleep and I'm trying to wind down a bit now. We are teething! Oh-so-fun!) Day after day, it wears on you and it's just hard sometimes. I get my MiL every other weekend...which is a blessing and a curse. The hubby pitches in on the weekends...but having him with Megan takes him away from helping me with other things around the house...again, a double-edged sword. Every other weekend the 9 and 7 year old are home to help keep an eye on her, but then there's the guilt of 'they're kids, too, and she is not their responsibility'...thus I rarely tap them as a resource for watching her. (And, no, they're never home alone with her...I mean that as in while I'm cooking or doing dishes or grabbing a quick shower.)
i am finally glad to see that someone posted the truth that having a child is not an easy task. Although mine is only 2 months old, it has been not only stressful at times, but emotionally taxing. I don't think people understand this. I have many friends that are wanting to have a baby. "I'll be a great mom!", "it'll be soooo much fun!" Yeah, you may be a great mom, and it IS definately loads of fun....when they aren't crying so hard you want to cry yourself and you can't figure out what's wrong. When it takes you an extra hour to get ready because the child is awake and you can't shower and fix yourself up like you used to. When the child is screaming and crying because they didn't want that new diaper and onsie on just to go to the store to get bread.
I can't wait to see what is in store for me as my child ages. I'm up for the challenge, but i've also gotten myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually ready. Which is more than i can say for alot of the people I know.
Thanks for posting this. Get the awareness out there girl!
I think the hardest part so far is all the guess work. Before you REALLY know your baby, you've got to figure things out and it's all guessing and going blindly since every baby is different. When babies cry, they have a need and trying to figure it out can be so frustrating because you just want to help them and sometimes you feel like you aren't doing anything right. The other hard part for us is that we don't have any family nearby or anyone that can really help us, so it all falls on us (me mostly since my husband is the provider). It is all so worth it to me, though.
Dear readers:
I can totally see where she is coming from. When I was younger, I hated little kids. Once my nephew was born my outlook on life and little kids completely changed. I'm more of a helping and looking out for teen mothers that need help.
Now like I said in my case, I have 1 nephew that lives in the same city as me, and I have 2 more twins that live in Colorado. the closest I've seen them so far is via Skype. Which I highly recommend if you aren't able to see someone you care about. The best part about being an uncle is that I can always give the kid back to there mother if he starts to get out of hand.
That was extremely nice of her to help her sister out. Believe me, after seeing my sister go through raising a baby to now where he is now 8 yrs old. Firstly the kids grow up so fast like a blink of an eye! Like I said it was nice you helped out your sister, but the more when you have some time to help her out she will appreciate it more than you know! :)
BTW, my older sister who lives in Colorado with the twins, did something that I found amazing since there still under 2 years old, is she taught them sign language. I didn't think it was possible until I actually saw it on Skype when one of the babies ( ian ) signed that he wanted some milk in his bottle. HIS OWN bottle. I couldn't believe what I was watching, Simple amazing. I personally wouldn't have the patient's to learn and teach my babies ( If I had one ) sign language.
Thanks for reading my post readers :)
~gfxdreams
I think that with expierence things get easier. BUT I do agree that it's not easy having a baby.
I don't agree with strollers on buses. I wish there was a separate kind of transportation (like there is for wheelchairs) for people with strollers. It's unfair for 3-4 people to be unable to be on the bus because of the space a stroller takes up.
You make adjustments for the little things that occur during the day, like dealing with strollers, tempers, and potty training. Those are not the hard parts of being a parent and anyone can do those things. The hard part about being a parent is realizing that it really isn't about you anymore. On the surface that seems an easy no brainer kind of thing, but it isn't something that you can truly get until you become a parent. It is a lot of responsibility to help raise a child and not just because you have to buy them things and not just yourself or any of the other "surface" responsibilities. You are responsible for helping them adjust to the world that they are going to have to be able to live in as an adult. There are going to be a lot of temper tantrums and I will deal with them, but I am more afraid of not being able to teach my son to be a responsible person when he grows up than I am of having to take him out of the stroller on the bus.
Before teenagers have a baby, they should go to a nursery or daycare and work for a week or a month. They will gain experience and realize how hard it is.
Or instead of sex ed, just have high and jr high schoolers volunteer at a nursery. My teacher friends mentioned that teaching is the best form of abstinence. haha.
Traveling anywhere (to the store, to the doctor, vacation, etc) with kid(s) is difficult. You have to bring the house with you for the "just in case".
The mental challenge is raising the kid right so that he will make the proper decision in life.
At the moment, I want to say the hardest part is taking care of both yourself and your child when you're both sick (as I'm in that situation right now) but honestly, I'd have to say it's the attempt to co-parent with his dead beat dad. I am so lucky I have my husband to be a real father to my son.
@Lady_Kelacy@xanga - Me, too - the sick part. I have a cold, my 3yr old has the same, and I'm praying my 9mo old doesn't catch it, too. And wouldn't you know it, Dad's away on business right now. No help, no break, no nearby family, new in town. Suuuuucks.
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Ooooh yeah.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - That is exactly how I feel too!
To be completely honest, I never wanted kids (please don't throw something at me for saying that, but it's true!). I was the younger sister (actually, I was the youngest person in the family all together) and my sister, who is 18 months older, was always the 'kid person'. She went to babysitting classes as a tween and babysat all the time. Me on the other hand, opted to stay away from children all together. As we all know, though, life has a twisted humor and when I was 18, I got pregnant by my boyfriend of 2 years. We already had a house together and both worked full-time jobs, so we were living comfortably on our own. When my son was born, I was 19 years old and had never held, changed, fed, burped, or dressed a baby in my life. Thankfully, the nurses were very patient in teaching me the basics of keeping him alive and well. Fast-forward 3 1/2 years: I'm a single, self-suffient, 'ooing/awing' over others' children mother that I never thought I would be. In reality, I enjoy it. My son is amazing, we go to the park, play with the Hot Wheels car I passed down to him (yeah, I was a major tomboy) and just have fun together.
So, the hardest part of being a mother was the fact that I had to learn it all at one time on my own. Another hard part was giving up my young life to be a mom. No more going out on a whim because I needed days in advance to find a family member to watch him for an evening, and learning to deal with the unexpected (sickness, injuries, pooping in the floor, and last minute change of clothes when he would have an accident on the way out the door). Gotta love it being a parent though! It's NEVER boring! :)
I have babysat my little cousin, who is now 3, and then realized how difficult children can be. Especially children crying to watch the same Barney tape over and over and over again and wanting to be picky about food. I don't know how my grandma who keeps her a lot during the days has the patience! I know that being a mother is going to be tough. But women don't have kids just because they want a challenge. As a mother to be, I can see that having a child truly is a blessing, even when sometimes you just want to rip your hair out. I've never been a really patient person, but I expect that once the motherly instincts kick in, I'll have more patience with my child than I ever thought I could have.
As far as your post, I couldn't imagine lugging a baby around with me in a busy city, let alone living in a city myself! (I've lived in Small Town, USA my entire life.) It was very nice of you to take care of your niece while your sister was sick!
EVERYTHING.
To be honest, I hate kids. I'd rather have a puppy, but at least if you raise a dog, they'll remain loyal to you while when their in their teens, kids get annoying and think they know everything.
It varied! Some days, it was the colicky baby who wouldn't sleep. Other days, it was trying to get my husband to help. Going out was always an adventure, and everyone pointed out some 'fun' times, but the worst that still sticks with me was my childless sister telling me how whatever problem I had could be solved with her 'expert' advice.
(My 'baby' is now 11.)
i m 18 and not yet married so i dont have kids.
but even i know its hard i still want to have one.yet another reason premarital sex is stupid.... risk for this to happen. freakin teenager with a kid. school.. kid... growing up and maturing... 1 doesn't belong.
@ChicaLaLoca@xanga - You sound like a wonderful mother, your children will definitely benefit from your attention and learn from games, who cares about the ironing :)