Saturday, 08 December 2012
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Ten Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Got Pregnant
First, let me start off by saying I’m SOOO EXCITED to be having our first child at the end of May. I feel blessed to have gotten pregnant so quickly despite a PCOS diagnosis. We wanted to get pregnant, I’m glad I am pregnant, and I would do it again a million times over…1) You will be asked (unless maybe if you are a SAHM) MULTIPLE times each day, “How are you feeling?” While this is a very innocent question, the problem is, there isn’t a right answer. Let’s review:
a) The standard approach “Fine”: followed by, “Really, no morning sickness?” “I was always throwing up every day, you have it SOOO easy” or “Have you gained any weight yet?” Regardless, you can’t get away with “Fine” “Good” or “Okay” anymore. It is absolutely necessary, apparently, that all pregnant women share the details.
b) The relatively honest yet pleasant approach: “I’ve been pretty tired and a little nauseous”: this is followed by, “That’s nothing!! I knew someone who….” Sometimes you might get a little more tactful approach to the answer, but in general, people seem it’s necessary to give you a play by play of the “worst case scenario.” Seriously, I don’t WANT to know that your friend threw up on the way to lunch everyday… I’m about to eat my own lunch and it’s not the easiest thing to do anymore.
2) People will ask you many times when you are due. The same person will ask 3-4 times. It is inevitable. Unless it’s pasted on your forehead, repetition is apparently key.
3) It is entirely possible to get up at 10:00 AM (on a weekend) and be absolutely too tired to stay up past 7:00 PM even after a nap or two during the day in the first trimester. I don’t know how people with multiple kids function. I was lifeless for a period of 2-3 weeks. I’m SO thankful that’s over!
4) EVERYTHING about your body changes during pregnancy. Seriously. I think my feet even grew a size. Nothing-Fits-The-Same. Furthermore, you’ll be astonished at the RATE things grow. It definitely wasn’t gradual for me. I grew a cup size in 2 weeks. Then, after picking out a pair of maternity pants that I thought were “way to big” and would fit better near my third trimester through the end…… well, let’s just say after re-trying them on 3 weeks later…. they’re almost too small. I could fit in my regular pants just fine until 18 weeks… then **poof** as if by magic… nothing fit.
5) You should by maternity clothes in stages. This goes along with #4. What fits today… or even looks big at the maternity store probably won’t fit in 2 months. Furthermore, if you buy “cheaper clothes” they tend to shrink… the length of your shirts is definitely important when you’ve grown in “cup size” and your baby bump is now a small mountain. It is perfectly fine to buy something that you know won’t fit later on… if it’s cheap, it fits, and it’s comfortable… great! Just be aware that your maternity shopping is probably not done until month 8 or 9.
6) Unless you’re spotting blood (and a significant amount of it) practically all other medical concerns will be chalked up to “That’s normal during pregnancy.” Headache for 3 weeks straight – normal (get your blood pressure checked though). Backache – normal. Severe leg spasms making you feel like your leg is surely going to explode at any moment – normal. You will not think it’s normal at the time… trust me. You should check to make sure your symptoms are “actually normal” but it’s amazing how the body changes and compensates for a little one inside you.
7) No one who hasn’t been pregnant (namely ALL guys) understands what it means to be “12 weeks pregnant” or “40 weeks pregnant.” In other words, you have to give them the “number of months since conception” not the “number of weeks since the first day of your last menstrual cycle.” It is not possible for guys to understand the logic with this one… just keep it simple.
8) The “ultimate sampler” at any Mexican place, BBQ place, etc…. that seemed impossible to eat before pregnancy, is now conquerable. You might even want dessert. It’s ok. On the same note though, I was not hungry at all during the first trimester… I felt nauseous if I ate much at all in one sitting… that definitely changes further along.
9) People (even ones who were recently pregnant) seem to have absolutely no knowledge of general milestones during pregnancy. While you’ve read “all the books,” the rest of society will seem rather oblivious. You will be asked, “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” many times… even in the second and third months of pregnancy. The baby might be the size of a grape… but everyone still wants to know. Furthermore, there isn’t a right or wrong answer to the question, “Are you going to find out the gender?” If you say yes…. it’s followed by, “Don’t you want to be surprised?” If you say no, it’s followed by a well thought out speech on the benefits of knowing the gender.
10) It’s okay to feel mad/sad/happy/frustrated all in a matter of 10 minutes. It will happen to you. You won’t know why. It will pass. Hopefully you have a supportive partner or patient friends.
I’m sure the list could go on forever… what would be on your list?
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- From: isumath07@xanga
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Comments (128)
fun post! I am female, will never give birth now, and fall in the same category as all the guys. Like on number 7, I never really did get that, and number 9 too.
Gratz on your upcoming baby! Is that an OK thing to say? doh?
Very true!!
I usually snap at people for asking me annoying questions. I'd rather everybody just leave me alone at this point.
11) Be prepared to hear the most horrifying labor stories ever. It's like people want to scare you out of having a baby. It's too late for that!
I too, never had morning sickness, with either of my two. But I wished I could have slept.... but I was not allowed!
haha, interesting.
Mine would probably be all the gross TMI stuff that happens to your body. (Warning: too much information ahead). Like how towards the end you have to wear panty liners like you're on your period with all the increase in leaking fluids. Or how any mole/birthmark/skin tag you had on your body before pregnancy suddenly triples in size, and several will appear in places you know there was no mark before, or how you will get "lightning crotch" i.e. pinched nerve pain down there that will make you walk around like an old lady. And the constipation and/or increased flatulence. And the stretch marks in places other than your stomach. And the swelling. And the random puking. Things I will NOT miss.
Love this post! So many things to look forward to when i got through this all over again. It can be rough at times, but in the end, so worth it
Good luck to you!
Thinking about all the horrifying stories and body changes that come along with pregnancy are what keeps me from ever wanting to get pregnant.
AAAAH! Adoption!
This list is pretty spot on.
I'd add: not every teensy weensy thing that you're not supposed to do while pregnant is going to kill you! It's ok to have a soda or some wine even--god forbid--a tuna sandwich, the world will not end!
And of course it's different for every one. All the matter-of-fact, well, "facts" you'll get won't necessarily apply to you (I've gained 40-50 lbs., way more than I should have, but I'm still wearing my regular size 0 jeans!). You gotta learn to just go with the flow!
@KimisBarbie@xanga - Seriously! Thanks, ladies, I reeeeeally wanted to know how you were in labor for 40 hours and had have your legs sewn back on because the "ring of fire" tore them off. And it's always finished with "but you'll be fine!"
So true, haha... *sigh*
I hate when people criticize the baby name options I come up with. It's my baby, I'm making her, I get to name her and I don't care what names you think might be better! =p
@milfncookies@xanga - I swear my mother bitches at me about every little thing every time I talk to her. The other day she called me on Skype (The biggest privacy invading contraption EVER...) and I just happened to be eating some chocolate. I got this huge lecture about how sugar will basically kill my baby in the long run. Oh I also shouldn't cook w/ aluminum pans, have ANY caffeine, or stand for more than five minutes. All of the following will "give me cancer and cause me and Ava both to die".
Love this post and so very true!
I would add that no one tells you how awful the heartburn can be and how frequently you'll have to pee! Seriously, being up once an hour all night long is just a little too much for me.
see this is why i love being a foster/adoptive mama. They come to my house all born and everything and I just get to love them!
Ok so I have to do the formula thing rather then BF (which is the biggest reason I want to have my own baby when it happens. I mean I know its not all roses, but I really want the experience) but everything else is pretty great!
I'd also like to add that the biggest thing I am not looking forward to about pregnancy is strangers (or anyone for that matter) touching my belly. OMGosh I think I will hurt the first person who does that. Either that or ask them if I can touch their belly now. Nope I will not make a good pregnant woman. Yikes!
Good stuff to know...
pregnancy sounds really weird.
1. I never knew I could be so sick in my entire life. Throwing up every meal? Not my cup of tea. All I had heard was how the morning sickness would last a few weeks and then be over. I had morning sickness the whole time and lost 30 lbs because of it.
2. I was never told how laughing, sneezing, and puking (due to the previously mentioned morning sickness) would make it really, and I mean really, easy to pee. lol, I have tons of stories!
and yeah, I was so exhausted for the first 3 months, i didn't even have the energy to take a shower. I was so tired all the time.... I also don't know how people with multiple kids do it! I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Feeling the movement trumped every bad thing (of course, it's easier saying that now when the pregnancy is over ;) ).
I will never forget how my dentist spent the whole half hour of my cleaning telling me about her awful labor and delivery - in vivid detail. Of course, I couldn't respond because my mouth was wide open. Needless to say, I've changed dentists, but that had to be one of the most ridiculous things ever.
BTW - the question *really* annoyed with my first, but for some reason with my second I just tried to think the best of everyone. I think people are groping for something to say so you get a lot of "How are you feeling?" and "When are you due?" and "Boy or girl?" just so they can acknowledge the fact that you're pregnant in a polite way. At least I hope that's what's going on!
About the puking--sometimes it's so unexpected! Like in the middle of dinner, all over my plate. That was pleasant. And the weirdest is puking and simultaneously wondering what I want to have for breakfast. Saltines didn't do it for me, but popsicles did (as easy coming up as going down).
@twobabes - The other weird thing was planning meals based on how it would be coming out. Yeah, I'm sure that's tmi, but I'm sure you can relate! It's awful when you get the bad kind of morning sickness.
The best is when you have conquered the pregnancy and come home with your precious little one to discover all the little things no one bothered to tell you about the post-partum time period... like how suddenly, you start to lose massive amounts of hair, so much so, you would swear baldness is fast approaching and the family is no longer surprised to find hair in food, despite your having it in a pony tail.
Or how long you are grateful to still be wearing liners for lochia because you sneezed and still leaked, 
or when the mailman rings the bell at 3 in the afternoon and you have to answer the door still in jammies with dried breast milk stains...
Or the blubbering mess you will be when baby smiles at you the 1st time and you realize you love him so much it physically aches. 
@just4bees@xanga - I'm just LMAO! All of that is SO true. I also wish someone had warned me to start taking Colace while I was still in the hospital. It did me no darn good to start taking it once I was home and it was "too late".
I love this article. Very true! I can't forget how repetitive individuals are about the questions they ask you. For me, I'm not that surprise with the questions because I'd been pregnant at the age of 41 and questions really arises when you become preggy at that age.
Thanks for this! I have shared this at my buddies in twitter!
Good to know, thanks! Hehe. Too cute.
This almost makes me not want to get pregnant! Almost. Very funny post and informative as well. Congrats!