Wednesday, 20 January 2010
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When Schedules Collide
This weekend we visited my BIL and SIL. Our six kids are close to the same age (7,6,5,3,2,1) and they love to play together, I enjoy my in-laws, so what is the problem? Our schedules.
My kids wake up around 6-6:30 and go to bed around 8. I don’t have a problem letting them stay up later on weekends, but they never sleep in. I would give my left eyebrow for a chance to sleep in until 7:30. We eat breakfast around 7 or 8 at the latest on weekends and we eat supper at 6.
The In-laws’ school aged child goes to bed around 10. The baby was up until 11 Saturday night. I don’t know when their kids usually get up, but the oldest got up when mine did this weekend. They always eat supper around 8, and apparently eat breakfast at 10 on weekends.
The kids went to bed around 10 on Friday night. Nobody got a nap on Saturday, except the baby who napped around 6. We ate supper at 8 and I told my kids they had to go to bed by 9. At nine, my BIL suggested his wife whip up some brownies for dessert. Who decides to make brownies for little kids at 9 p.m.?
My in-laws didn’t even get up until 9:30 the next morning.
What do you do in someone else’s home from 6-9:30 in the morning? The kids were starving and trying to be as polite as they could. I thought about loading them up and going to McDonald’s, but that seemed rude. We just stuck it out; unfortunately a motel is not a future option.
What do you do when schedules collide?
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Comments (10)
Maybe speak to them? And come up with a compromise?
Was there a reason you couldn't use the kitchen and make some breakfast? That's what I would have done. But going to McDonald's would have been a fine option as well.
And yes, there are times when we make brownies or another dessert late at night when we have company over. It's part of life, I suppose, even though I can understand your hesitancy when your kids don't sleep as well.
Maybe next time you guys can talk about all this before the visit and see if there are some compromises that can be made in scheduling. Otherwise, just stick it out and enjoy the hours where everyone is awake.
I probably would have made breakfast for my kiddos. Our schedule is a lot like your BIL and SIL's... it's just what works for us. However, if we had company and the other kids had a different schedule I wouldn't mind if they used our kitchen/tv/toys/whatever while we stuck to our own way of doing things.
The same thing you do, I am too polite and worried about upsetting anyone. However, I don't have kids so it is just me I have to worry about. I probably would have just taken them out and said "Oh the kids were getting restless, we are use to being up early." Now that you know how they are you can plan ahead too. I have a friend I visit who lives out of state and when I am at his place I use to go nuts because I wake up at about 8am and he sleeps until about 1pm! If he had food in house I would cook for myself but I have to wait for him to get up and for us to go out. So after the first trip I learned my lesson and brought granola bars and other healthy snacks with me so that I could have a breakfast of some sorts while staying there!
i'd bring some bagels and cream cheese, or open up their cereal and start it up. dont' expect them to change, but also you ought to feel free to eat their food if you're staying w/ them. maybe say to the SIL, "Hey, we wake up early, do you mind if my kids have some of the cereal?" OR "I'd like to cook some eggs in the morning, you guys might not be up yet. Is that ok w/ you?" I dont' think normal people would care about anything like that. it doesn't have to be a big deal!!! :) (if they are late sleepers and late nighters, they are probably more chilled out than your family is, so they won't care - not any thing bad meant by that to you!)
@alaskamommy@xanga - @furyyes@xanga - @michcoy@xanga - @marzish@xanga - Yeah, I should talk to her about it, I am not very good about talking about things that bother me. She works long hours and I stay at home with my kids, so she doesn't have as much time with them as I do, I understand their schedule. I think bringing fruit or bagels is a great idea. I kept asking her if I could help in the kitchen, and she kept telling me no,no, she didn't need help, just sit and visit. She always helps me in the kitchen, but I don't discourage it. I don't know if they even had cereal. They had to run to the grocery on Sunday to get stuff for breakfast! I think it is a big tradition that BIL makes pancakes on weekend mornings, so I didn't want to step on toes there. So I have it. Bring something little to snack on, and ask about cereal. Thanks for the suggestions.
The funniest thing that happened was my BIL telling my fussy, tired and starving 3YO on Sunday morning at 10 "I think somebody needs to get some more sleep!" And he did, most of the wayhome in the car.
That happens to us a lot. Sometimes we let our kids stay up a little later (because we're on vacation), but sometimes we just put them to bed at their normal 7:30 time and let the other people deal with it. Then, we get up and have cereal for breakfast (at 6 or 7) and I just plop the kids down for breakfast again if there's a big meal made later that morning.
Just do what works best for you, don't worry about what the other kids are doing, and relax! Vacation should be fun! :)
I would explain to my in-laws the schedule that my children are used to and also let them know that I don't expect them to change their schedule to suit mine. Then I would have made my children breakfast or taken them out for breakfast. In fact a nice breakfast out at an IHop or something would have been a lovely way to start the morning and spend some family time before jumping into the fun of extended family time.
In the future, since you know there will be schedule conflicts, plan accordingly. Bring some breakfast snacks, or whip up some muffins for the next morning during the evening baking sessions! so that your kids won't be starving. Also bring some books, puzzles or quiet games for them to play while everyone else is sleeping. If weather permits use that time for an early morning walk together.
The first time is always the hardest, now that you know what to expect it will be easier the next time to have a plan in place.
@Wildflowersp@xanga - i now have more respect for my own mother, after reading your post. she used to come visit me when i lived in austin, and i was a TOTAL night owl (i've changed a little since then)... she would stop in la grange and get a bunch of kolaches, and she'd also have a cooler full of whatever to eat w/ her. i thought she was just being nice... haha... she was hungry in the morning. :)
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