Thursday, 07 January 2010

• Breastfeeding in Public- Really? We're Hashing This Out Again?

  So.....of course there is a post on momaroo about breastfeeding in public. Again. And of course everyone is up in arms about it. What kills me is how people keep complaining that they are "offended" and "don't want to see it" and "can't believe it's done in public."
  
  Explain to me how the recent cover of Rolling Stone featuring Lady Gaga :
  
  

  
  

  
   is totally okay, it's not offensive (I haven't seen a SINGLE Xanga post pointing out how offensive it is) no one looks twice at it.
  
  yet I shouldn't be allowed to do this:
  

  
  

  
  in public? (I can't count the number of times I've heard breastfeeding in public is offensive here on Xanga.)
  

  
  WHAT IS WRONG HERE? Lady Ga Ga is popular because she is a sexual object. So is Britney Spears, Madonna.....in our country, sex sells. And it's completely normal. You can go to the beach in a tiny, skimpy bikini and run around, yet I can't nurse my child? How in the world is that not hypocritical?
  
  Also, the comment was made by several Xangans that women should just use bottles, pump milk when they go out, feed the baby before leaving....etc.
  
  Some babies will not take bottles. My son will take a bottle from anyone but me. He knows that I will offer him the "real thing" so if I offer him a bottle, it's like World War 3. He arches his back, screams in protest, clamps his mouth shut...no matter how hungry he is. Some mothers do not WANT their babies to use bottles, in order to avoid nipple confusion. In fact, groups such as La Leche League discourage the use of bottles in order to support a better nursing relationship. I personally do not like to see my son using a bottle.
  
  From an article I read recently:
  
  "Babies need to be breastfed on demand, and mothers should not feel pressured to use bottles. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, babies do not need to have bottles or pacifiers, and even if a mother wants to use these, they are contraindicated until breastfeeding is well established. Early introduction of bottles or pacifiers can put the breastfeeding relationship at risk, as the baby can develop nipple or bottle confusion, often resulting in the baby not being able to correctly nurse. If this happens, the baby may wean, or have such serious difficulties that the mother may need to seek professional help. Would we want even one mother or baby to have an increased risk of illness just because someone doesn't want to see it? Also, using bottles takes away from the convenience of breastfeeding, as the breast it is always ready and available, at the perfect temperature, with no preparation needed. No breastfeeding mother should be told that she should have to use bottles, anymore than a bottle feeding mother should be told that she should be breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is an act of nurture, not something to be hidden. Mothers should be allowed to choose for themselves how they want to feed their baby, and our society should not discourage their choice, especially when it is one that benefits all of us. "
  
  Some women have trouble pumping. I did not have the ability to go out and buy a two-hundred dollar electric pump. I bought a hand pump and it is a nightmare to use. So, I just only do it if I know I'm going to be away from my son for more than a few hours. For me, pumping hurts. Plus, it's not easy. My mother just decided pumping was too much a hassle so we went everywhere with her while we were still nursing.
  
  I feed Andrew before we leave. But I live in the seventh largest city in the nation. Even though the grocery store is only about 7-8 miles away, it still takes 20-25 minutes to get there. Then about an hour to shop and then come home. And that's almost two hours if I'm ONLY going grocery shopping. I usually have several stops to make. My son is going to HAVE to be fed again at some point. I know I'm not the only mother faced with this dilemma. 
  
  Honestly....it's stupid.
  
  For those of you who are offended.....here are a few ideas:
  
  -Educate yourself. I'm not calling you ignorant. I'm just saying that it is possible that you have no clue what you are talking about. Read about how beneficial/NORMAL/nurturing breastfeeding is. You can start here. And then go here, here and here.
  
  -Look the other way. I personally do not like to see men without their shirts on. Unless you are my husband or Edward Cullen, I don't really want to see your chest. I would rather men wear shirts at a public pool or beach. Society says that it is perfectly acceptable for men to walk around without shirts on. I don't want to see it, so instead of making a big fuss about it....I look away. It's a pretty simple concept...all humans know how to turn their heads so they don't see something.
  
  -Realize the mother is not trying to cause a scene. At least, for myself, I am trying to draw as little attention to myself as humanly possible. All I want to do is feed my baby. I'm not trying to make a statement, I'm not trying to give the world a free show, I'm not trying to make anyone uncomfortable. But, ultimately, my son's comfort comes before anyone else's comfort. If he's hungry, he's getting fed, and if that makes someone else uncomfortable, they are just going to have to be uncomfortable. I would bet this is the view and belief held by the majority of mothers who are breastfeeding.
  
  -Realize there is nothing you can do about it. In America all states have laws that protect a woman's right to breastfeed in public, protect her from indecent exposure and nudity laws and some states have laws protecting her from being discriminated against or segregated. This site gives a GREAT over view of each state law. I do not know the laws overseas concerning breastfeeding, I would venture to say they are much more relaxed about this in other countries than we are.
  
  -Accept that it is the normal thing to do. While my husband was in Afghanistan, he saw many women breastfeeding their children in public. In AFGHANISTAN. You know, where women are covered from head to toe? If it's accepted in a place where women are routinely oppressed, tortured and viewed as property, why in the world is it not okay in the "land of the free"? Breastfeeding a child is a normal, acceptable way to nurture AND comfort a child. If it was not what we were designed to do, why would we do it?
  
  That's my PSA for the day.
  
  Do you find breastfeeding in public to be offensive?  If so do you find images from the media, like the Rolling Stone Cover above, offensive?
  

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