If her grandmother and mother are more open to change to be discipline her more then maybe she could just switch back to them watching her daughter.  At least for my daughter a simple time out or taking of a few key items really seems to send a strong message.  This day care though definitely doesn't seem to be working.  I hope she can work something out.

The lemon juice thing is wonky... Where are the people that were outraged about the baby eating a lemon video? Wasn't it something to do with causing permanent damage to their teeth because of the acid?? I would look for another day care.

Family is great, but, yes, they will cater to the kids and their way is always going to best, even if they agree to work on discipline, that'll only truly happen when your friend is in the room. The second she leaves for work, odds are high that that goes right out the window!

isn't lemon juice bad for your teeth anyway, because it's acidic?
anyway, my grandma, who raised me, used to threaten to throw me out if i was bad. i always only half-believed her until one day she locked me out of the apartment (trash goes in the hallways between apartments). from then on i was a good girl =P

My mom used to give me a time out and make me take a spoon full of vinegar. Blehk. She only needed to do that three times. Then I behaved :]

We spend a lot of time with my husbands family and they often let my kids get away with anything and everything.  I'm noticing though, that my kids know how far they can get with each person.  They wouldn't even dare think about pulling some of the things with me that they pull with Grandma!!!  Granted, I stay at home with my youngest and my 4 year old is at school so they are still getting most of their discipline (time-outs mainly) from me.  Still though, I think the child will learn what is and is not acceptable eventually, as long as the mom continues disciplining her way and praising her daughter relentlessly when she is behaving appropriately.  I think I say, "I am SOO happy with your behavior today at the store!! Thank you for being such a good girl!"  to my daughter numerous times a day/week.  

Also, my daughter is now almost 3 but there was a time just before or after she turned 2 when I didn't want to let her out of the house because she was so horrible... Luckily, it was a phase and it soon ended but I was forced to learn to cook since I refused to take her to any restaurant with us! 

Not to repeat what everyone else already said, but lemon juice?  Really? I have never heard of that before in my life, very interesting.  I know it is not dangerous (besides maybe the teeth thing) but it just seems really bizarre.  I would def. try and find private care at this point if the grandma is not willing to be a little more firm with the child.  Good luck to your friend!  Two is such a fun age heh.

@a12906@xanga - YOU make me sad. Are you serious with this? "Whatever happened to the days when pregnant teens were sent to "live with an aunt"? Really? Why is she a bad mother? She's not doing anything wrong, all children misbehave, this problem has nothing to do with her age and who are you to judge her anyways? It sounds to me that the problem lies with the daycare and not meeting individual needs not with the mother. If you're going to be stupid you should keep your opinions to yourself because nobody wants to read about people who believe that only young mothers children misbehave and that since the child misbehaves it should have been given up for adoption since no other form of punishment is plausible in life children just come out perfect. Shut up nobody wants to hear stupid idiotic responses like this.

They're not listening to her disciplining rules any better than her family was. I would definitely go back to the family because they're cheaper, or probably free.

@Summer_lovin_sweetie@xanga - Thank you!

@Summer_lovin_sweetie@xanga - And, thank you for standing up for her. I treasure her because she's a postiive role model not only for Audrey but for me...despite everything against her she's in college and working and trying to make a good life for herself and for Audrey, and it reallymeans a lot that you're standing up for her. Thank you so much. :)

Hello
I think kids want always love and care and mostly they don't like harsh people.Grand parents are always a best option.People should teach children very softly.Thank you very much..

@a12906@xanga - Wow. I'd love to hear you say that to a young mother's face. Matter of fact, I'd love to hear you say that to my face.  I am the mother of a well balanced, gifted, disciplined, and loved 3 year old. I'm 22.  I am currently in a position in my life were I'm fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my son. Someday, though I'm going back to school, when my husband makes the police academy and my son is in school. I would like to set an example for my son, that no matter what choices that you make in life, you can always better your life and live a happy life.

I don't remember any where in the OP where it was said that she physically disciplines her child. There are plenty of non physical ways of discipline. Redirection, choices, praising for good behavior, or time out...are the ones that come immediately to mind.

Your comment is ignorant to assume that a mother of a two year old, regardless of the mother's age, could spend 2 years bonding with her baby and then just give it away.  The OPs friend, can afford child care, even if it is a squeeze. She works. She can afford her child. She's going to school, so that she can get better pay. She disciplines her child, unlike a majority of parents today (young or old). She seems to be perfectly fit to be a mother. The issue doesn't not lie within the mother. It lies with in the childcare and grandparents.  If discipline is not consistent at every place a child visits, it causes turmoil with them. They know they can get something from grandma or teacher, but can't from mom...so that results in a fit. Then mom disciplines, by whatever her method is, and then the kid listens. But, then next time they're with gma/teach they get away with it again...and you see how it is a vicious cycle.  Now with a 2 year old things get more tricky. They are learning learning boundaries. When those boundaries aren't set by some and set by others it causes confusion and frustration...which a 2 year old then transfers to acting out.

Maybe you should do something thinking about what it is like to parent, before making another ignorant comment.

At the topic:

I would first, be looking for a new child care provider.  Either a center, or a licensed home care provider. A home day care is going to be able to cater more to her individual needs, and normally are less expensive.

Then I would be calling licensing, because squirting lemon juice as a form of discipline is abuse, and horrible on their teeth. I would have had a good long talk with the center director the day I found out. She needs to file a report, and have licensing come out and investigate they may be doing more than squirting lemon juice in their mouths.

Finally, I would have a talk with Grandma. Tell her I appreciate her help, but disciplining needs to be consistent. Make a job chart, have a time out spot (if that is what she does) remember no more than 2 minutes for a 2 year old, make sure she adheres to her breakfast, lunch, nap, and snack schedule...and any thing else mom prefers.

@a12906@xanga - You obviously have unresolved issues about the whole parent/child relationship, which is fine, but these feelings have no bearing on this parent's desire to further her skills. 

@Xbeautifully_broken_downX@xanga - @emaciationxisxthexgoal@xanga - 

I don't see a problem with spraying water in the face. If it deters behavior, then why the hell not? Someone suggested a spoonful of vinegar, which according to a few adults I've talked to can close up the child's throat, and no one's freaking out about that.

To the first of these two replies; she DID talk to them. When she tried to talk to her grandmother, she yelled at her and said "i've raised four children, I  know more than you ever will". When she talked to her mom, her mom said, "okay." and nothing changed.

to the second: yeah, MY mom recommend the water bottle idea. And I'm a pretty decent person. So don't be rude, because it's not like she's beating the kid. It's WATER, not ACID.. Besides, Audrey just laughed, it didn't do anything.