Monday, 07 December 2009
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Would You Tell Your Child the Truth About Santa?
When I was only 5-years-old I came to the conclusion that there was no Santa Claus. I remember keeping this knowledge to myself for a full day. By the time I went over my best friend’s house 24 hours later, I was just dying to share the news with somebody! As we dressed our Barbies for their dates that evening I shared the revelation I had had with my little buddy.
Well, needless to say my little friend began crying instantly and ran off to tell her mother what horrible things I had said about Santa. Shortly after the incident my mother was at my friend’s house to collect me since I was no longer welcome (for the moment at least).
As my mom and I slipped into the car I can recall that she was yelling and I was crying. I was just so confused as to why everyone was so upset with me, after all, all I had done was tell the truth and had I not been taught to always tell the truth?
However, I must have had some doubt (maybe because everyone was freaking out) because I can remember asking my mom through tears, if I had been correct about there not being a Santa. I can still picture my mother’s face after I asked that question, she simply looked panicked. I guess she was unsure whether or not she should be honest about Santa or if she should lie and try to convince me that he was indeed real, wanting me to believe for at least a few more years.
My mom looked me in the eye and said, “Yes, you are right, there is no Santa”. And then my mom told me not to tell anyone else about there not being a Santa because clearly some people believed and would be very upset to hear such news. I vowed to keep this knowledge to myself from that moment on. For years I felt superior to my silly friends for believing that Santa Claus was a real person. But now, at almost 25-years-old, I wish I had believed just a little bit longer.
At what age did your children stop believing in Santa Claus? If they were to ask you whether or not Santa was real how you would answer?
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About the Author
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- From: michcoy@xanga
- Name: Michelle
- About Me: I am a full-time nanny who loves to write whenever I can. I also love being outdoors whenever possible. Camping, hiking and kayaking are a few of my favorite activities.
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Comments (78)
If my 5 year old was to look me in the eye right now and ask me, I would tell her that yes...there is a Santa. Santa is the spirit of giving to others. There is no "real" man that lives at the north pole and gives presents for cookies...but the spirt is in the people that love her that want to give.
However, I'd be upset if she told her 3 year old sister. ;)
I think that by telling a child as early as that, that there is no santa...is horrible. Its like destroying their childhood. that is the fun about being young and naive. Everything can be possible. Even a fat man who delivers presents to all the good children in the world in ONE night...Yes, I had doubts and yes of course I would question it but my mother never said anything to me...she always would just come up with an explanation that I would just consider suffiecient because in all honesty I didnt want to NOT believe in santa. It made christmas MAGICAL. As the holiday season should feel...
plus it teaches children the gift of giving and the kindness of a heart. And that there is someone out there who cares.
just because you dont believe in santa you dont have to ruin it for another child. (I wasnt talking about you you when I said "you" lol but u get what I was trying to say)
Every child needs a little magic in their life. christmas and santa is that...let them believe.
Tim and I discussed this before Megan was even born; we will not be doing the Santa thing with her. We both felt betrayed and were a little confused about these adults that were always telling us to tell the truth, lying to us. Yeah, yeah...I know there are trolls out there right now dying to point out how "silly" it is to feel that way...and, sure, it kinda seems that way when you're an adult, but when you're a child it's a whole different ball game.
Now, the older two children have done it in the past, but we aren't doing it. We have started the conversation with them as, "DO. NOT. go telling the world...some people still believe and it's not your place to tell them otherwise..." They already have huge trust issues. Example: One weekend we said we were going to the park at a specific time. About an hour before hand, it started storming and did not stop. We "lied" about going to the park. Aurgh. So, we're not even going to go there with them. There is no fat man that flies with reindeer and chows down on cookies all through out the night, end of story, good night.
lol. Well, we all firmly believe that Santa is really a viking who liked to drink... a lot... and that the presents he was giving were to the viking kids that he stole on his viking raids of other villages. So, in a condensed version just around his village, it makes total sense. :D
@nickiesneon@xanga - So, Santa is a ghost who gives presents then? If so, I hope your child(ren) will learn that ghosts are scary as horror movies make them out to be. :)
We won't be teaching the kids about Santa in the first place, so there won't be a need to "tell the truth" later on. Christmas is about Christ's birth and the spirit of giving, so we'll be focusing on those things. When the kids start asking about who Santa is, we'll just explain that he's a symbol of the giving spirit of Christmas. We won't say "he's not real" though, so hopefully that will eliminate the chance that they feel the need to spoil it for Santa-believing children.
My bf and I are seriously considering not even telling our son The Santa Lie. Of course, Critter hasnt even been born yet (13 days til due date), so we have a couple years to really decide. For him it comes down to lying to our son. For me its a little more...political I guess. I dont want my son believing in the "power" of some invisible authority figure. Or only behaving for the sake of tangible rewards. Its silly.
We aren't going to do the Santa thing. We are going to teach John about the spirit of giving and sharing, but I will explain to him/them that some people do believe in Santa and he should be respectful of their beliefs
My boys never believed Santa was real, why would they? He is a cool guy from holiday stories, fiction just like the characters in their other books. Our Christmas is exciting without them thinking a stranger is going to bring them presents if they are good. We have had talks about not ruining it for other kids. They know that some people believe he is a real person and it's not for us to tell them otherwise. So far we haven't had any issues.
I'm so with @filtered_sunlight, I was angry as hell that I had been lied to for years. I was more angry about that then having the "magic of Christmas" destroyed.
@sexncookies@xanga - Why must a parent use Santa to teach kindness and giving? I thought that was just part of parenting.
@filtered_sunlight - How dare you not share the joy of Santa with your children. You are so silly. LOLOL, you know I had to do it.
Let the trolling begin. Love you!!!!!!
I never thought santa was real. I knew the stories but no one ever told me it was anything more than a story. So..I never believed it to be anything more.
@gwacemom - LOL. The topic came up close to this time last year and there were a few people that snarled and told the rest of us how silly we were being.
Now, on the other hand, my mom's friend has a daughter-in-law that FORBIDS Santa be on wrapping paper/gift tags/cards/etc. She's been known to ask if her MiL decorated with Santa and then refusing to come over unless Santa's image was taken down. That's a tad unrealistic, you know? The kids are going to be exposed to it at some point. Decide what to tell them (we'll be going with something close to nickiesneon's comment) and deal with it.
@filtered_sunlight - We had Santa; I figured it out when I was about seven. It was easy; I caught my dad taking stuff out of his closet that was from "Santa". I didn't feel angry or anything. I think it was how my mom handled it. She spoke of it being the "idea" of Santa and not so much the real thing that made the magic. She also told us if we stopped "believing" we all got underwear for Christmas. At forty; I still believe. LOL
To each their own. However, the whole "forbidding the Santa image" seems a bit over the top for me.
@gwacemom - I very nearly figured out around age 5... Mom and Santa had the same wrapping paper...! At 7 or 8 I found the presents in mom's closet with the "From: Santa" tags and I was upset. Tim's mom recalls him demanding to know "what else" she lied about for WEEKS into the NEW YEAR! O.o I've got enough stress...can we see if I tried to run with it for the boys? I'd be spending my Summer at your place because I'd STILL be hearing about it!
@filtered_sunlight - Well then by all means; lie to them!!!! I would love to have you over the summer, and the winter, and the fall, and the spring.
@gwacemom - LOL. I don't think the world is ready for us to be on the same coast, let alone the same household. Have we warned everyone to bunker down for March yet??
my boyfriend said that he never believed in santa - i think his parents just never gave him 'santa' gifts or really talked about it, and he said that he had a wild imagination but at the same time he didn't really believe that fantasy-type things could actually be real. i'm considering doing the same thing with my children - just never really bringing up the santa idea outside of books and fake stories. besides, that way you only have to give presents from you 'the parent' and not you 'santa'.
I think if I had a child who was old enough to be in elementary school and they came up to me and very directly asked, "Is Santa Claus real?" I would at first ask, "What do you think?" If it got to the point though where they were seriously skeptical about the whole situation and asked me, wanting an honest answer I would not be able to lie to them.
@filtered_sunlight - LOL, I can see the headlines down; "Three women arrested for drunken brawl in local Vegas club. Husbands refuse to make bail."
I was never told that santa was real, and I turned out fine. Christmas was still a happy holiday and i grew up happy and healthy. I won't be telling my kids about Santa.
@gwacemom - *does best news anchor inpersonation* "Yes, Janet, but one of the correctional officers reported that two of the husbands asked if they could mount cameras in the shower and the third asked if he could drop off a toddler, stating that she was, 'asking for mommy'." ...shall we place bets on who the third would be?!
As a parent and a teacher, I always told all of my kids that there was a such thing as Santa Clause. My son is still so small that right now it doesn't matter, but last year I taught 5th grade and the debate over Santa Clause was very serious. I vehemently insisted that he was real, even when the children laughed. But on the last day of school before Christmas break, there was a little present on everyone's desk. And I told them that I know Santa is real, because I am Santa for them, and for my son. And I am definitely not imaginary. I explained that the way to keep that magical feeling alive for all of the children in the world is for others to go out and become Santa Clause, and then, not only is he real, but a part of him will live on forever. I encouraged them to remember this lesson when they were adults, so that they could be that joy in someone's life one day. I got several positive phone calls from families so it seems to have worked.
I realized it when I was around 8 but I had two younger sisters so I didn't say anything. I remember asking my mom at one point when they weren't around and she told me the truth. I love the whole Santa thing. We just do a stocking. I did it with my oldest son until he was about 7 and started asking questions. He now knows that we do it and still enjoys seeing what is in his stocking.
my daughter is only a month old, but i would never try to deprive her of that good christmas package. i had such a blast when i was little believing in santa and everything was so fun. theres a time and place for everything. your childhood holds the most memories, so they should be the best that you can make it.
her santa filled christmases will be a blast!!!
My son is six and he believes there is a Santa.If he told me there wasn't one I would go out of my way to prove there was one.I believed till I was eight my mother always tried very hard to convince me that there was a Santa from then on.
I realized it when I was 8 or 9 but don't recall ever saying anything to anyone. Over the years, of course, I tried to get my mom to say something about it but she will sign SANTA to gifts and insist that she has no idea what is in our stocking. I thought it was dumb at first but now that I have children of my own, I really like the fun of it. I'll never tell my children and one day I'll learn how to sign SANTA just like my mother.