Wednesday, 25 November 2009
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Breast Feeding in Public-Where to Draw the Line?
Have you ever seen a mother breast feed her child in public? After all, it is a naturally body function, and it is legal in multiple states.
Why should these mothers be looked at any differently than any other women walking down on the street? The baby is simply eating his/her meal just as any toddler or adult would. Would you stare at other people over the age of 3 for eating in public? Perhaps in the library where they aren’t supposed to or if they were making some kind of dramatic scene, but in most cases, you wouldn’t give them a second thought.
But, is there a line as to where these mothers can breast feed their child?
Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against breast feeding in public. I work at a retail store that sells baby clothes, and we have a special chair just for mothers who wish to breast feed their child in. I am used to such scenes and feel no awkwardness towards them.
However, just the other evening when I was on the bus during a busy rush hour, I saw a woman with a boy about 1-2 years old. The boy started whining, but he wasn’t creating much of a disturbance. The next thing I know the woman began to breast feed her child.
Do keep in mind that this small bus was already packed with people. There was a man in front of her who was holding onto the railings and another man who was sitting beside her. Needless to say, it was a very awkward situation. I am pretty sure that it was not very comfortable for the men around her. I believe that I even saw the man who was standing directly in front of her blush.
Yes, breast feeding in public is a “basic civil right.” And yes, breast feeding “should be encouraged and not hidden.” But, shouldn’t mothers still be aware of where in public they choose to do this? I am not sure if the child was suffering severely from hunger or not, but his cries did not suggest that he was in pain. Perhaps there should be more discretion in this act?
What are your thoughts?
How would you feel if you were on a bus and the person seated in front of you began breast feeding her baby? Would it be okay? Or how about in a restaurant, would you feel any different?
For the moms -have you ever experienced an uncomfortable situation while breastfeeding your child?
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- From: JustPeachs@xanga
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Comments (29)
I certainly don't mind. There are some mothers who take consideration for others and cover up with a towel or something. I view it as a natural bond between mother and child. You have girls (young and old) walking around in scandalous shorts and loose clothing, but nobody seems to be raising hell about that.
i replied to this on your blog :)
as i stated there, i see no problems with where a woman breastfeeds. if your kid is crying and hungry, what are you supposed to do, starve them? however, i can see a problem with how a woman breastfeeds. if you are lifting up your whole shirt to breastfeed, exposing essentially your whole torso, not only is it unneccessary, but it's unclassy. according to the women i've spoken to, there are plenty of ways to breastfeed that can make people wonder if you're even doing it or not.
Lord, throw a rag over it. I have no problem with a woman breastfeeding in public. I don't know if I'd go as far as "encouraged not hidden". I mean, come on, has anyone ever heard of discretion? My wife breast fed 6 kids, and she never had to hang em' out for all to see.
Honestly, I rarely even notice if a woman is breastfeeding. Never seen a woman (other than family/friends, in someone's home) lift up her shirt or anything out in public. I've never seen a woman be anything less than discreet while breastfeeding. And even if she was, I really don't think I'd care.
@soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga - lol yes, I didn't realize that it would be here as well. I agree with what you said about it depends on how the mother breastfeeds. Thanks for replying~
I want to go to the ladies i see nursing in public i want to go up to them and say "good job keep it up" or something like that. I nursed my youngest and walked thru walmart. my child deserved to eat, and i took pride in it.
I usually don't notice if women are breastfeeding in public, because I don't make a habit out of watching what other people do. I have my own life to be concerned with. Having said that, If I noticed that woman had a baby and was starting to lift her shirt, I would know what she's about to do and mind my own business. Other people just continue to stare in horror and say she should "cover up" because they can't control their eyes. You can control yourself, really. I would also be so happy that she didn't have fear, to put her childs needs above those who are ignorant.
Discretion is great, don't get me wrong. If a child doesn't mind eating underneath a blanket, by all means, do that. If not, then a mom shouldn't have to worry or retreat to an unsanitary bathroom. Babies have the right to eat wherever they need too, in public.
If I saw a woman breastfeed her child on the bus, I would be happy that she put her child's needs above the discomfort of others. As a mother, My responsibility is to make sure my child's needs are met. If my daughter is hungry, she gets fed. Period. If someone has a problem with it, they can look away, and not make excuses for why they can't, because I'm not fooled by that!
I saw someone breastfeeding in a cinema. This would have been ok apart from the child was about 2, didn't want to be breastfeed and was eating popcorn and drinking coke between the mother trying to feed her. I thought that was going a bit too far. Ina crowded cinema, where you are sharing an arm rest... swap places with your husband so he is sharing an arm rest with your exposed breast after your child squirms away because she doesnt want it, rather than sharing an arm rest with a random stranger.
If my child is hungry...he'll eat. I don't care where I am or who is with me. And I don't care if he's two, three or four and still wants to nurse....the benefits of breastmilk don't stop because a child turns one.
First, I'll say that I'm all for breast feeding and doing it any damned where you please, without a cover up. I live in Florida. Most days, even in December, we see upwards of 80 degrees. Imagine going to the beach on the hottest day of the year and eating your lunch with a blanket thrown over your head. Babies end up sweaty and fighting more than nursing because it's uncomfortable. If someone around me doesn't like it? Feel free to look in any other direction! (I am as discret as possible; I don't particularly want someone else's hubby getting a free show...I don't know any BF'ing mother who wants the world to oogle her boobs. Loud noises or shiney objects will distract a nursing baby and you don't always get fair warning. It's life. Deal.)
Based completely on what was included in the original post, it sounds more like she was simply "comfort nursing" him to avoid a scene. I could be wrong. I wasn't there. I don't know her son the way that she does, even if I were there. In that case? I would have used something else to distract him. But really, it was her call to make for her child. She did what she felt best. Why would anyone question that??
Personal experience has taught me that the more you try to hide it, the more that people gawk and spazz out. Megan was a few weeks old the first time we were out of the house for long enough to have to feed her. I went out to our car, in the backseat, with a blanket...Megan fought tooth and nail not to have her face covered and the guy parked next to us was so into staring at *the blanket* on my chest, that he couldn't even start his car on the first two tries! Fast forward a few months and a better latch with practice, we've walked all around stores with her nursing and not had any second glances! Even Tim commented on how widely accepted it was while we were out one evening.
So I'm absolutely not against breastfeeding at all. Feed your baby.
However... just the other day, there was a woman in church who pulled down her shirt, popped her boob out and fed her baby uncovered. Like I said, feed your baby when you need to, but seriously? In the back of the sanctuary we have a mother comfort room that features one way tinted windows so that moms can feed their babies and still fully see and hear the service. Get yourself back there woman!
But that's just my opinion...
I kind of feel that it is something people need to get over. But, that's just me. Either way, I suppose if those men didn't want to be "exposed" to that they could've looked away. I know you say that the bus was small and cramped, but was it so cramped that they couldn't turn their heads?
If it were me on the bus, I wouldn't mind. If I didn't want to see, I'd look away. Same if it were a restaurant. But, this is just my opinion and I know a lot of people don't agree with it. :p To me seeing a woman breastfeeding is the same as seeing a woman bottle feeding her child. But, that's just me.
A woman should feel free to nurse her child, even in public places, because the baby deserves to eat. Yet, she ought to try to be discrete about it, and have most of her breast covered. Our son was resistant to having his face covered, so it was a challenge for my wife. But both of our kids were breast-fed, and healthier because of it. I can remember watching my older sister with her kids, and it was okay, no big deal. Yet, a woman should not make an overly dramatic performance out of it.
I said this on your blog, and I'll say it here: a mother's first priority should be the comfort of her child.
However, after reading someone's comment about a whole boob being plopped out, and after having remembered that I *have* seen that before (at church, funnily enough), it should just be common courtesy to not expose your entire breast. But as far as nursing goes, to hell if someone sees a flash of nipple. I know I've accidentally flashed my nipple due to a ill-fitting bra, but no one throws a fit then. Mothers should be able to flash something people have seen all their lives in order to feed their child (but within reason, obviously).
I agree with you and the whole boob floping out,, there has to be a line but I have been attacked befor stating that there are no such women but ok guess that is only where we live. I am for feeding your baby like one person said it is now where it is how,, I don't stand up and shake his bottle up for all to see.. but this is a debate that will never end cause people are self centered and all people care about is what they want. Weather it be a person who doesn't like it at all or a mother who wants to BF. this is a topic that people will not meet in the middle, glad you brought it up maybe it will help the people who attackked me a few months back see I am not the only one who see this.
yes breed feeding in public is encourage able but nowadays its been very rare to see mom feeding their babies in the public or in restaurant. But woman's should be conscious especially when they open up their dress in the public. its it good to wear easy open able or zip based dress and to have a towel to cover up while they are in public while feeding their babies.
Good for her for meeting her child's needs BEFORE the child started making a disruption!!! Most women are able to breastfeed and show far less breast than one would see in a catalogue, ad, or at the pool/beach. She's parenting her child. If someone is uncomfortable, don't look. It's not like they're screaming obscenities.
If you are offended or disturbed by something it is your OWN personal problem, no one else's. If you're offended by purple hair, should that person walk around with a towel on their head to be discreet? It's just as absurd. If you don't want to see it, don't look. If you're paralyzed and can't turn your head or close your eyes, you might have a case.
There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public or wherever and I encourage mothers to breastfeed their child rather than bottle feed.
I used to work at a swimming pool and there was a mom who used to breast feed her child in the pool. It made everyone very uncomfortable. We had others who would get out and breast feed on the bench, that was not a problem for me, they covered themselves with a towel. But in the pool?!? There is a rule about no food on deck, if a baby spits up in the pool we have to close the pool, so why should she be entitled to feed in the pool, where if some dribbles in we would have to shut down the pool. They ended up ruling she could breast feed in the pool because the milk if it had dribbled would not be considered a bodily fluid (um... what?). To this day it still makes me quite upset.
In my opinion there is nothing wrong with breast-feeding your child and if you are in public there isn't much you can do if your child is hungry. While it is a natural event they have ways to be discreet about it. I have never seen a mother nursing her child in public but i would not be comfortable if she revealed her whole breast to do so. when i have children of my own i intend to breast-feed and when they are hungry in public i will feed them but i will cover myself for my own comfort and also because other people around me don't need to see. I also have every intention of breast feeding until my child is around 2 but to breast feed a child that is 1-2 years of age is inappropriate. they do make pumps so pump it and give the kid a bottle instead...
This used to gross me out because in church the women would flop out their saggy, hairy, veiny boobs to breast feed. *shudder*
I was working at my job at a hotel and there was a lady sitting in the lobby and it was like WHAM!! BOOBIES!! I'm a girl and I was embarassed and the guy I was working with couldn't even look in that direction. She was just sitting there with her shirt hiked up. It only bothered me because she wasn't covered up at least a little. It was a public area and I thought it was rude that she disregarded the fact that being so blatant about it might make other people uncomfortable.
The other day we were at my husband's friends house. I had never been there before, nor had I met the family. I asked if it was alright if I went to another room to nurse my 6mo old son (I wear appropriate clothing, and nothing is ever exposed except my neck). It was all well and good until their mother-in-law walked by and insisted on handing me a full sized sheet to cover up with. She made me feel embarassed to breastfeed. That is not something I should feel ashamed of. It is not an immodest act, especially since I was attempting to be sensitive to those around me. Should I have been banished outside to my car instead? I don't think that's reasonable. But I won't feel welcome there again as long as the MIL is there.
@mycontinuity@xanga - I find this comment to be a bit inflammatory. Should only perky perfect boobs be allowed to breastfeed in public? Was it the breasts or the act that make you *shudder*?
@sarahsmurfette@xanga - Both. I was a teenager at the time and the women had very ugly breasts.