I am a hypocrite. It's true. A few months ago I wrote this post about
Toddler TV time and its relation to ADD. Did you know that their chances of having ADD and trouble in school increases nearly 10 percent for every hour of television they watch before age three?! I had all the good intentions and was really trying to keep my son's television time to 30 minutes per day. My little one is already super active and kinda crazy to keep entertained and quiet when needed. I had these horror stories running through my mind about how letting him watch TV would cause him to act out in the future and how he would struggle in school.
I was doing great limiting his TV time and was so proud of myself, for like a month.
Then, cooler weather set in and things got busy and I got lazy. It is just so much easier to turn on Word World so that I can get a blog post written or get dinner on the table. Am I taking the easy way out? Yes, but it's so...well, easy. So much easier than having him wrapped around my leg begging me to write an "A" or build a boat out of blocks.
He has a gazillion toys. In fact, he has an entire room in the basement dedicated to his play time. The problem is, he does not want to go down and play alone. That is no fun. So, what to do? I am totally feeling great about getting things done but feeling guilty about having him glued in front of the television.
It's not that I don't like playing with him. He is adorable and so very excited with every little activity. I love his silly laugh and melt every time he smiles. Again, it's the guilt. If I just play, there are chores and responsibilities nagging at me. If I do chores and put him in front of the TV, there is the guilt that I am negatively affecting his development. So what do I do?! I feel guilty whatever I do. Wait a minute, I feel guilty either way. Sounds like I just need to ditch the guilt.
My almost 2-year-old can count to 15 and recognizes nearly 20 letters. His development is fine! And those people who have spotless houses are either empty-nesters or have a compulsion that I cannot keep up with! I don't need to get everything on the list done today and I also don't have to play with my little one every second.
As long as I find a balance that is what truly matters. Right?! How do the other moms and dads out there handle this situation?
I am a hypocrite. It's true. A few months ago I wrote this post about Toddler TV time and its relation to ADD. Did you know that their chances of having ADD and trouble in school increases nearly 10 percent for every hour of television they watch before age three?! I had all the good intentions and was really trying to keep my son's television time to 30 minutes per day. My little one is already super active and kinda crazy to keep entertained and quiet when needed. I had these horror stories running through my mind about how letting him watch TV would cause him to act out in the future and how he would struggle in school.
Comments (9)
I'm definitely interested in reading other people's replies to this post. It's something I constantly worry about. My husband and I don't really watch much television, at least we didn't before we had a baby. Our lives are full of productive things and didn't have much time for it. But when Aaron was born, I had the television on more than ever. Mainly when he'd want to nurse for hours and there wasn't much else to do. I still tend to have the television on in the background a good deal of the time, usually on the news. The thing is, I've noticed that even at 3 months, he seems very interested in the television (probably because there are a lot of faces to look at). Even if the television is off and I'm feeding him or getting him settled for a nap, he tends to turn his head to look at the television. I'm afraid I've already gotten him addicted at such an early age.
I used the t.v. a lot when my duaghter was first born, mostly for background, or for something to do when she was young and slept a lot, as she progressively got older I made sure we weren't watching t.v. as much and now she's 18 months and yes, I use it occasionally through out the day mostly just when i need to get something done, and it has to get done while she's awake and i need her to be distracted...already she knows how to say "raggle ock" (meaning fraggle rock) and "boo coo" (meaning blues clues) although I dont' use it constantly and we don't have cable or anything, so it really is a short amount of time throughout the day, i find it a relief that I have the luxury to do that for a few minutes...I don't particularly think it's that bad for awhile a day, but when it's all the time all day everyday that's when it's a problem. I see kids all the time who are 3, 4 and older and the only part of their imagination they use is to reinact something they saw on t.v. or on a video game, that's when I feel there's a bit of a problem...does that make sense?
I'll tell you how my mom dealt with our "TV time" and I plan on doing the exact same thing.
She started this when I was almost 3 and my brother followed in the same pattern when he was almost 3. On Sunday she gave me five dollars in quarters. This was my "TV money". Every show I watched on TV cost one quarter. There was a jar labeled "TV Money" sitting next to the TV. If we wanted to watch a show, we had to put a quarter in the jar. We could watch however much we wanted at one time but when those quarters were gone, they were gone. When the week was over, we got to keep whatever quarters were left over. There WERE exceptions --- on Saturday mornings we got two free hours of cartoons and we were allowed to watch one show during lunch time (we were homeschooled.) During holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving or if we went to visit family, or we were sick, the quarters didn't apply. They DID however apply during the summer. It worked with my brother and I REALLY well. She did this with us till we were 12/13 --- old enough to govern ourselves. It helped, I rarely watched TV in high school and in college.
My son is 5 months old and I pop in Baby Einstein every morning so I can get a bit of housework done or eat breakfast. It's 30 minutes so I don't feel bad but....occasional TV isn't going to hurt anyone. :)
@XxFireXboltxX@xanga - i'm going to have to remember that! thats a REALLY good idea
We didn't let my son watch TV until he was 2. He's, well, he's a natural ball of energy. Luckily he loved being read to and started reading himself at two, so there were quiets moments thanks to books. But, I only did chores when he was sleeping because, as a stay at home mom I felt like he was my job now, and when I worked in an office the chores didn't get done during the day. When he was older, say three, there were some responsibilities we wanted him to work on. So we made a chart listing them. For each responsibility he did (small and simple things like brush his teeth in the morning) he "earned" 10 minutes of media time. He could earn 50 minutes for his daily responsibilities and he could earn up to 30 minutes more weekly for some extras (like helping to clean his playroom.) When he "spent" his time, that was it. It worked great because it kept me accountable, and when his time was up there was no arguing to get him off PBS kids, he new he'd spent his time. Personally, if you would have guilt either way, I would choose guilt over not getting chores done than guilt over not playing with your son.
I'm urging my mom to get ONeill into some kind of playgroup or daycare. Everyone is gone during the day and the only one he has to play with is the housekeeper. She takes good care of him and she plays with him a lot but she's only one person!
Me and my sister always complain about how much TV they let him watch. It's ridiculous! If he's awake then both the living room TV and the TV in his room are changed to the "sprout" channel. I feel like we're living in a daycare. Those types that have all different play areas but still have a TV playing movies constantly in case kids want to sit down and watch. Even if he isn't watching TV the channel is still on. Me and my sister complain about it, we think it's killing him having it on constantly but my mom complains that she's too tired after work.
I really want him to go to a daycare or something. That way he'll be out of the house a little and learn to socialize with other kids.
Thank jeebus me and my sister are there. We take him outside and into the pool a lot. And if my mom isn't home we turn off the TV (for real, even if we have him preoccupied and playing with toys my mom will still come in and tell us to turn on his cartoons. wtf?).
I'm not a mom, (but hope to be) but I am a very involved Aunt (my sis is a single mom). And the only TV her 7 month old watches is a half hour of Baby Signing Time 5 or so days a week. My sister has the TV on a lot when he nurses, and hes only interested when music is playing from the TV. After that people or the dog are MUCH more interesting! She doesn't have any TV service so when he is old enough to watch on his own, he will only have whatever DVDs she buys. My husband plan on limiting our childs TV time to an hour at most a day (hopefully less!) and we already practice "media free day" one day a week, no TV, computer, or video games. Music is ok on that day. I think all things have some good, even TV, but everything can be abused too. You have to find the balance that you think is most healthy. And, to "A Little Tipsy" I would say this, think long and hard about your priorities and whats important. Yes, cleaning needs to get done, but the house doesn't need to be spotless every moment. If things are only a little messy get down and play with your son! It will pay off in the long run! A clean house will just be dirty again tomorrow, and will never love you for cleaning it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with kids watching tv so long as it is educational. And anything can be educational if parents take the time to make it so. Obviously, Little Einstein's and Sesame Street are better than Spongebob and Scooby-Doo in presenting educational matter, but if you watch with your child and find a way to make Spongebob educational, your child will learn from it.
As for getting housework done, you can leave it, plop your child in front of the tv, pay someone to do the work for you... or maybe, involve your child?
When I was young, I had a broom, a vaccuum, a mop, a little iron and ironing board. My mother and grandmother could do their work and I could be right there with them. I have four sons and did the same thing with them. Now I have two older boys who know how to do their own laundry. All of these "toys" are still available today.
If you're cooking a meal, how about a set of bowls and measuring cups for your child. He can be with you, doing what you're doing, learning (and not in front of the tv) and playing and safe... And you can still get your work done in the kitchen.
My younger boys have a "playroom" with a billion toys, too. They want to interact with the whole family. I'm thinking about ditching the room and all of the toys they don't use anyway. I'm tired of stepping on them since they don't stay contained and the little ones just lose interest in 30 seconds anyway. Maybe with less, kids appreciate what they do have more?
I definitely think that it's better for kids to be out playing outside than to be sitting in front of the tv, but I"m not sure how I feel about time limits or "earning tv time" anymore. Sometimes these methods backfire because kids start to look to tv as being something they are entitled to for X amount of time each day, or they begin to look at it as a reward, and thus crave it. Given the opportunity, then, they may binge on tv if nobody stops them because it's something to be desired, a prize of sorts. I babysat for two boys who were allowed to play video games for ONE HOUR during the time I babysat them. The problem is that without this ONE HOUR thing, they probably wouldn't have even thought about video games. I would have been able to keep them content with other projects. In short, the boys felt they HAD to use up their one hour of video games before I left, or it would expire. I remember once we were all in the middle of playing legos in the playroom when one boy shot up and went "We still need to use our hour of video games!" His brother was like "I don't wanna....I wanna play legos." But the first brother got the kid to stop playing legos and play video games instead. He totally looked annoyed to be FORCED to use his hour of video games. Haha. It's my goal to somehow make my kids indifferent to television. I don't want them to think it's the devil nor do I want them to think it's the ultimate reward. Neither extreme is good. Not sure how I'm going to go about doing this though. I like the quarter idea somewhat because you get rewarded for NOT watching television (i.e. you get to keep the quarters you don't spend on tv). I think ultimately attitude and your own habits will transfer to your kids as well. If you constantly treat tv like a special treat, they will view it as a special treat, something to be desired and obtained. If you sit there and watch it 24/7, or your evening activities always consist of vegging in front of the tube, the kid is going to learn that tv is a necessary part of life and get used to it as incessant background noise. If you make a habit of not making the tv into a big deal, of largely leaving it off and only turning it on when there is a good show or movie on, and then turning it off again and doing something else, I think kids will follow these habits as well. It also helps to just not make the tv the center of your living room. If all the furniture is pointed at the television, then of course when everybody sits down...might as well turn it on since we're all looking at it. But if the tv is off to one side just like the bookshelf or game shelf, and furniture needs to be rearranged before using it, then it turns it into just one more family activity chosen consciously, and not as a default option.