Saturday, 14 November 2009
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Talk to Me Baby! How Should You Talk to Kids & How Should They be Talking?
When working with little ones I always find myself talking in a high-pitched, to even a “cooey” voice (the latter being reserved for infants). My problem with this is that I do it for about six hours a day while working as a nanny and when the mom comes home or I have to answer a phone call I sometimes forget to switch over to my “adult voice”! I can not begin to tell you how silly and embarrassed I feel when I slip and talk in the “baby speak voice”!
It has been proven that babies and young children do indeed respond better to high-pitched sounds and speaking in my “baby speak voice” has proven effective for me. Based on the research, I feel it is ok to do “baby speak” with very little ones but I have been wondering lately at what age a child should be spoken to in a more normal voice. Since all of the children I watch are two or younger I feel that for now it is ok but am not 100% sure on this. I figured this would be the perfect place for me to get some advice!
Looking back at my own childhood I can remember making a promise to my five or six-year-old self that when I grew up I would speak to all children as if they were grownup too. It just drove me nuts when I felt like an adult was not taking me seriously or that they were treating me like a baby! I don’t want to break my own promise to myself so that is why I have been trying to figure out when it is time to stop talking to kids as if they were babies.
I have also begun questioning how healthy it is to use variations of words with children that are learning to speak. For instance a lot of children say “baba” instead of bottle or “binky” instead of pacifier. In many cases little ones talk like this because the real word is too difficult for them to say. Also, some sounds are just too complex for small children such as the “ch” and “sh” sounds. Almost every child I know speaks or has spoken like this in the beginning so I guess it is just the norm.
However, when do you start having a child say a word the proper way? Is it confusing to a child to one day be allowed to say “baba” and then the next day be encouraged to say bottle? Are kids more adaptable to such changes than I am giving them credit for? Help! I need answers!
How old should a child be when you start speaking to them in an “adult voice”? When should you begin to encourage a child to use real words rather than variations of words that once were easier for them to say?
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About the Author
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- From: michcoy@xanga
- Name: Michelle
- About Me: I am a full-time nanny who loves to write whenever I can. I also love being outdoors whenever possible. Camping, hiking and kayaking are a few of my favorite activities.
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Comments (10)
I refuse to use baby talk with my little ones.
I have also fired a sitter for using baby talk after telling her specifically not to.
How can we expect children to learn to speak properly when we don't?
I do use a softer voice tone with the little ones, especially babies, but there is no reason to use any other then my normal voice with our toddler.
I dont know when one should stop using the high pitched voice, thinking back I just stopped using it, cant remember when exactly, I think maybe I stopped using it with my son when he got to around 12 months, cant be sure.
As for baby words, I don't use them, my son will come up with his own word which is easier for him to pronounce, I don't repeat that word back to him, I use the correct term and eventually he will say the correct word when he's ready. He only started talking, he's almost 26 months now, so we'll see when baby words become obsolete.
Don't worry 99% of parents have enough common sense and natural instinct to naturally switch from baby talk when developmentally appropriate. As for using the correct words, you can always do that. If my daughters asks, "baabaa?" I respond with "here's your bottle". In all likelihood (in MY opinion only!) in her head she hears bottle but simply cannot articulate bottle. She certainly knows it's not called a "baabaa" and eventually they begin self correcting. Here is a brief article on the benefits of baby talk: http://www.prevention.com/cda/article/benefits-of-baby-talk/0edb9c777f803110VgnVCM20000012281eac____/health/healthy.relationships/healthy.kids/children Here is a longer academic take on the subject, you can jump to the final paragraph if you're short on time: http://www.ericdigests.org/pre-9215/baby.htm
When speaking to a baby, there is no need to speak baby talk to them. Speak to them in a normal voice. Babies can learn language skills without hearing baby talk. Babies can listen to what you do, how you feel, and lots more than just cooing sounds. The more they hear regular sounds and words, the more they will pick up and learn to speak properly. It is repetition, learning new vocabulary, touching new things, hearing new sounds, doing new things. Otherwise, later on you would have to correct what they say all the time. They can understand a lot more than most people think. It's never too early to read to them so that they hear different sounds and words and see different things out of the ordinary. Poetry and nursery rhymes are great for teaching language skills to babies.
High pitched baby talk is actually called "motherese" or "parentese" and is used in every language and culture when speaking to babies. People just naturally raise their voices and over-annunciate around babies. In actuality, this is a very important part of the learning process. Babies are able to easily pick up on language when they hear the adults around them over-annunciating things and speaking in a high voice. Those who refuse to talk in a "baby voice" around their babies are actually making it more difficult for their babies to learn language. However, even those who refuse to do so are probably actually doing so subconsciously. You don't have to go to the extreme to still raise your voice slightly and over-annunciate. Since the purpose of baby talk is to teach babies to talk, then it makes sense that you stop doing it once the kid learns to talk and communicate effectively. For most kids, this is around age 3. I also believe in using the correct words for things. If a baby points to its bottle and says "ba!" the mother should say "yes, that is your
bottle." If they point at a dog and say "goggie!" you say "yes, it's a nice doggie isn't it?" Communicating this way corrects the kids' language and teaches them correct words for things, but also acknowledges their efforts at speech
@Suesbooks - Every single study ever done on motherese (not to mention centuries of natural usage of motherese across all cultures) refutes what you are saying. It's ironic that you sell children's books (and yes it is good to read to children) because Dr. Seuss and many other children's authors SPECIFICALLY mirror motherese and all those nonsense words are critical in teaching children cadence, sound distinction and later when reading, word attack skills. It's ironic again that you recommend poetry and nursery rhymes while at the same time saying you will need to go back and correct their language if you use baby talk. There is a TON of language used in nursery rhymes that a child rarely hears in day to day interactions yet there is no need to go back and correct that language later on. I guess I just don't really see your point unless you are insinuating some parents simply grunt and coo and never speak to their children.
My parents ALWAYS talked to me normally. I knew how to say pacifier when I was really young. Sure, I didn't say it PERFECTLY but I didn't say "binky".
Maybe that's the reason why I can pronounce things 100000 times better than my friends, I have a good vocabulary, and a good sense of spelling and grammar.
Thank you for all of your great responses! Your advice will definitely help me out when nannying. I never knew there was an actual term for talking in a high-pitched voice, how interesting!
@bubbelcat - What I had mentioned was that there is no need to talk baby talk, I didn't say that you couldn't if that is what you want to do. Poetry and nursery rhymes use actual language and do not have to be corrected later on. Even though they may not use it in every day language, they are hearing multitudes of sounds that are not used in every day talk. When parents give names for things in baby talk that they make up, those are the ones that need to be corrected later on. Use actual names of things, use regular language. It is not necessary to call it something else. This is what I am referring to. This is a good article on Baby Talk here. Rhyming books, silly nonsense phonics books are great, It helps them to develop language skills and listening skills. It's great to know someone is reading these.
As a linguist I can tell you that research has shown that babies respond better to higher-pitched voices, so that is fine. The 'baby talk' is another matter - yes, motherese is an accepted way of teaching a child listening skills, but I think the best thing is to ALSO teach children the actual words for items (e.g. possibly on top of "binky," say "pacifier").
Oh, and correcting children's language doesn't help - they will correct themselves when they are ready to hear certain distinctions, like fortis/lenis (i.e. the difference between p - b; g -k; v-f; s -z sounds).
Regarding you answering the phone in a high-pitched voice... maybe you're overdoing it a little?
I do find myself speaking to my son in a high-pitched voice sometimes (especially when praising him), but among adults, I'd also like to be taken seriously, and research also shows that people with high-pitched voices (both male and female, but female to a higher degree) are not taken as seriously as people who have lower-pitched voices... Just a thought!