Thursday, 12 November 2009
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Surviving a Stressful Day: How Do You Do It?!
We all have them from time to time, bad days. Unfortunately, life does not stop for us when we are having one so we need to deal with them somehow. When I am having a bad day I try to think of one of my favorite slogans, "Keep Calm and Carry On" but sometimes this seems impossible to do. So how do you get through the day when you are on your period, have sick and understandably cranky kids at home, work deadlines to meet, and family drama going on all at once? As you all know, it ain’t easy! As a nanny for three children I can at least take solace in knowing that by 4:00 in the afternoon I will get to go home and deal with one, well actually, three less things. I have always wondered how all of you moms out there do it!
Does some dormant mommy gene kick in the day your baby is born? Where does the seemingly infinite amount of patience come from? Are there days when you lose your cool and just can not take anymore? I mean, when you are just plain exhausted because baby had you up all night and you have not even had a chance to get one full meal in during the day, what can you do to keep calm? Some days I believe it is ok to let go of being a super-mom or super-nanny and to give yourself permission to just get through the day. Here are some tips moms have shared with me on how they get through a rough day.
Without the Kids
Let a friend, family member, sitter or spouse take over for a little while! You can not always do everything on your own and it is ok to let people help you! Even if all you have is an hour of time to yourself there is so much you can do! Go out and get a haircut, manicure or pedicure. Stop by the mall for some shopping, grab a bite to eat or sit at a local coffee shop and people watch. Take a walk/run, hit the gym, or go for a swim at the local beach or lake. Find a quiet spot to read, journal, or paint. Even staying at home can be relaxing take a nice hot bubble bath or even take a nap! Do whatever helps you to feel relaxed and just enjoy the time to yourself!
With the Kids
If a temporary caregiver is out of the question there are still some things you can do to turn your bad day into a good day! Take your kid(s) to the playground, let them burn off some energy while you play with them and burn off some of your stress! If you are too tired to run around just enjoy sitting on a bench watching the little one(s) have fun! You can also bring the kid(s) to a museum for a few hours, what better way to spend some quality time with them while relaxing all at once? Check out local movie listings and catch a film or maybe go bowling if you are feeling active! If worst comes to worst, take the kids for a walk or drive if there is nothing else to do, sometimes just getting out of the house is enough to make you feel better.
These suggestions may not make all of your problems go away but hopefully they will at least help you to feel more relaxed and therefore better able to deal with whatever your day has thrown your way!
How do you get through a bad day as a parent or caregiver?
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About the Author
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- From: michcoy@xanga
- Name: Michelle
- About Me: I am a full-time nanny and a part-time writer and absolutely love both jobs. The outdoors is where you can find me when I am not working. I love to go kayaking, camping and hiking.
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Comments (10)
Well it's a little different for me with all ages of kids at home instead of just babies and preschoolers but in general if the day is going really badly my strategy is "stop what we're doing and do something else". Very often all that is needed is a change of environment. Also a call to DH for perspective and prayer help a lot.
Well, as a Mom to 4 I know a thing or two about stressful days. I wish I could say that I have always known how to deal with them, but too many of them were spent yelling at the top of my lungs at the child who was on my last nerve. I was blaming the child instead of myself and our surroundings. I read a book called Homeschooling with a Meek and Mild Spirit and it changed my life! I realized that God had made each child just for me and NO ONE was better suited to teach or love my children better than I. God had given me everything I needed to raise this child to their full potential. So I started asking what was causing these stressful days and to my surprise it came down to me having to much me time. Me-ism is a very dangerous thing. I wanted my time to read my email, my time to cook dinner, my time to read, my time to go to the grocery store...get the picture? To much my time! Then I realized that there was simply too much noise in the house so we cut out the TV. It is amazing how much less stress there is when you don't have the extra 2 or 3 people from the TV talking while your kids are also talking. Structured play time was next on the list. It was no longer a free for all in the house. We had a time for playing in the bed room, a time for playing outside, a time for playing with each sibling so the other siblings could get their music lessons in and so on. We also learned that it was OK to change activities if something wasn't working, but we hardly ever have to do that because of a game we learned. Here it is: Have the children sit in front of you and your husband, say Sarah go run to the tree and back. The child says Yes Ma'am and does it right away. Then you look at the next child and say Billy hop on one foot 4 times. He says Yes Ma'am (or sir) and does it right away. What is this game doing? Teaching them to do what you say, when you say it and with a joyful heart. It works like a charm! Right now there are 5 people in my house with the youngest being 4. The only sound I hear is the drier going.
I also homeschool- I have 5 kids ages 9, 8, 6, 3, and almost 1 year! If kids start having meltdowns, I try to find out the issue- are they tired, hungry, frustrated, etc. Prevention is obviously the key, but kids are kids and no matter what there will be tough days. If I'm really losing my mind I just kind of lock myself away for a few moments, find some peace, and come back out with a refreshed outlook on things.
At camp, when I have a particularly crazy cabin (usually the 4th-8th graders), I find it helps to get them talking. Let them discuss whatever's on their minds. For the little guys, draw pictures or play with clay together to express what you're feeling. And, of course, being silly helps!
@HSmomto4@xanga - Wow that is amazing how you turned everything around! I will keep your tips in mind! Thanks for sharing.
@Nina1981@xanga - Yea, I go to the bathroom when I need to get away, even if it is just for a min or two it really helps! Great idea!
@Katja88@xanga - Getting them to talk or draw pictures is a great idea! Maybe I focus to much on the behavior sometimes and not on the why, thanks for sharing!
@bubbelcat - I definitely think that changing location or the activity is a big help. I even need to do this when I am not with the kids lol.
When things are getting a bit too much at home, I usually just drop everything I am doing for later and take the LOs out to playground/museum/walk/lunch etc. as I have realized that trying to work (I am a WAHM) when the little ones are being cranky/needy is pointless and just adds to the stress for all of us. In this way, we will all get to enjoy a nice day out and all I have to do is stay up a little bit later at night to do what I was suppose to do during the day. It is so worth it, for the peace and happiness of the whole family.
It is definitely not an easy job as some people think. Yes, you have to have patience. Little ones have short attention spans. Read to them, play with them. When they are bored with one thing, go on to something else. Change the venue, take a walk, go for a drive. Check to see if they need a diaper change, maybe hungry, tired. Pick them up for a little while to comfort them. Be flexible and make changes when necessary. It is a constant thinking process and you have to have lots of things up your sleeve to occupy them. Stay calm and it is fine to ask for help.