Wednesday, 11 November 2009
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How Do You Do Bedtime?
When I was a kid bedtime was a nightmare! I REFUSED to sleep alone. My mother either had to stay in my room with me until I was sound asleep or I needed to be in my parents’ bed or at the very least on the floor next to it. One time my mom grew so fed up with the sleeping situation that she locked me out of her room only to find me the next morning sleeping right outside of her bedroom door! I was stubborn, that’s for sure! Having baby-sat for many families over the years I have seen a variety of bedtime rituals I would like to share here, some seem to work and others not at all!
Rocking
Many parents rock their children to sleep at night. The motion is comforting for the child and when you have a new baby it is just a nice way for mom or dad to bond with the little one before bedtime. However, I have seen, with more than one family, that if you rock a child past a certain point (usually, infant-hood) the child becomes so accustomed to it that they refuse to go to sleep until they have been rocked. I have seen this become a problem when siblings arrive and mom and dad have less and less time to spend with each child at bedtime. It also becomes a problem when you have a 12-year-old who needs to be rocked before bed.
Cuddle-Time
This one has actually been more of a problem for me as a baby-sitter than a problem for the child. At least three sets of parents I have sat for have been going over the bedtime routine with me when they casually drop that I must lie down with each child for a few minutes of cuddle-time before I leave the room and let the children go to sleep. Perhaps I am just strange but this always makes me feel a little weird. I think it is cute that the parents do it but as a caregiver I just do not always feel comfortable with it. Of course I have some families I have known for years and have no qualms about cuddling the kids since they are like family members to me as well but when it is a new job and I am just getting use to the children and them to me, it just feels odd. However, since the kids are so use to mom and dad doing it there is no way they would go to sleep unless I did it as well.
I have also noticed that the “cuddle-time kids” will try and negotiate with, not just me but their parents as well, about how long cuddle-time should be and this just prolongs the going to bed process. Another problem with cuddle-time that I have seen is that children become so dependent on it that they do not want to be alone in bed at all (since they usually fall asleep before mom or dad leaves the room) and then well the parents just end up with a ten-year-old like I once was, sleeping on their floor every night!
Bedtime Made Easy
One family I know has almost zero issues at bedtime and I believe it is all thanks to their routine. There are three children and each one goes into their room, has a story read to them, then mom and dad turn off the lights, leave and shut the door behind them. That is it, the kids go to sleep!
How do you do bedtime?
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About the Author
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- From: michcoy@xanga
- Name: Michelle
- About Me: I am a full-time nanny and a part-time writer and absolutely love both jobs. The outdoors is where you can find me when I am not working. I love to go kayaking, camping and hiking.
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Comments (16)
I dont know how my step sister does it but with her kids I normally have them in bed by 9 but they let the TV lull them to sleep. Yea, I know, bad bad auntie. At least they're asleep within the hour without complaint.
My cousins sort of go through the same schedule. They're in bed and falling asleep at 10 but we let them watch a movie before that in the living room. No TV in their room.
I dont have kids, so IDK. but I was one of those who refused to sleep alone too. Then my parents bought me this awesome new bed that made me want to sleep in it :D. I was like 8.
I hope my kids arent like that... i want time with my hubby! :D I doubt ill ever put a tv in their room.
I was a big fan of nightlights, too. And my stuffed animal. Actually, like 10 stuffed animals. They made me feel safe, lol.
We have a set routine. Bath, jammies, snack, brush teeth, story, song & prayer, kiss goodnight. It works, and the kids are asleep by nearly the same time every night. With very little fuss. I believe that routine is the most important thing! We used to rock our first son, and ended up doing it until he was nearly 2, luckily our second son didn't like being rocked, so it wasn't a problem, since they are only 15 months apart. :) We did have to nip that in the bud, and once we did, bedtime became much easier. I don't mind rocking a baby, but once they get past being a baby, they need to be learning to go to sleep by themselves.
Bedtime was TOUGH with my son until he was about four years old!! My first husband and I were separated when he was born, so I put a lot more pressure on myself to be "loving" than I needed to...
As a nursing Mom, the first few months were easy -- he fell asleep while feeding. I was down to nighttime-only nursing when he was six months, which is also when I returned to work, so I ended up co-sleeping. (A lot of parents are against co-sleeping for their own reasons, but it made nursing a whole lot easier, and also allowed me to get enough rest to not be a zombie the next day.) By 9-months, he was weaned from the breast, but I got into the terrible habit of nighttime rocking -- which was both amazing and terrible. Amazing because it was so comforting for baby and me, and terrible because it started as a 15-minute routine and ended up taking 2 hours to get him to sleep. By the time he was one year old, I found myself having to lie down with him until he fell asleep in his twin bed, where I often spent the entire night because I was exhausted.
*sigh* Glad we can just say prayers and kiss goodnight now! lol.
I often think, "If I had just allowed him to 'cry' in the crib as an infant, he would have learned to sleep through the night sooner." But when I look back at the times I tried it & remember how red-faced and short-of-breath he used to get, I think I did the right thing. I'd rather have spent all those hours praying for him to fall asleep than letting him hyperventilate just so I could be a hard-core Mom. :)
our 2 yr old is down by 8pm, though bed time is 7:30 he usually plays for a bit then crashes on his own. As long as he has his sippy and blanket he is happy. But he is also all about Daddy at bed time, and always has been. I can do naps, but when its for the night, he is a daddy's boy.
There is no way I would ever put a tv in a child's (or my own) bed room. Bed rooms are for sleeping, tv rooms are for tv.
we watch tv, read a book, something that makes us cuddle and then when that is done, its off to bed for the kiddios.
I agree, no tv in bedrooms! People just do not sleep as well with tv in the room. Anytime I've slept at somebody's house where they fell asleep with the tv on, I would wake up in the middle of the night, all disoriented and blinded by the tv... hate it!
No kids yet, but if we do have them we'll do everything we can to teach them to fall asleep by themselves! I swear, one of my nieces was still sleeping on the floor in her parents' room as a teenager!! We will not go down that road!
My mom said I always took a long time to fall asleep when I was little, so she put a little lamp in my room and let me read books as long as I wanted to. It worked well for us.
My son's bedtime routine is bath, lotion, jammies, into his crib, i sit beside it and read him two books, then kiss him goodnight and leave the room. He usually never cries, and goes right to sleep.
Routine, Routine, Routine. There is comfort and security in knowing what comes next. Start the process at least 1/2 hour before bedtime. If you bathe them nightly that's a good place to start. Story was always done in the bedroom with the boys sitting on their beds. Worked beautifully for both of our boys.
When I was a kid I remember asking my parents if I could sleep in their bed. My mom said Ok, I jumped in their bed and the two of them went to my room. I never tried that again. ha ha
When my children turned 3 months old I started them in on a night time schedule. Teethbrushed, jammies on, diaper changed, last feeding (for the baby) and a book (or three for the older one), prayer times a quick drink of water (for the older one) and bedtime. I let the older one look at a book if he wants to by the light of the night light because he will fall asleep within ten minutes either way.
It was hard at first letting them cry it out as babies, but within a week both of them have been able to fall asleep on their own and neither one of them put up a fight when it's bedtime. Then my husband and I get time to ourselves from 8pm on!
Oh, and each child stays in his own bed until morning time (after 6:30). No co-sleeping here (except for the times when the baby has to have multiple feeds, then it is inevitable because sometimes it's easier to nurse while I sleep).
Thankfully I have no problem with bedtime. My son is 25 months and for months now all we have to do is say it's sleepy time, we turn off the lights in the play room change his diaper, let him have a drink of water if he wants and then we take all his friends (toys) to his bed and one by one put them there and then put him in, give him a kiss and wave bye bye nighty night and walk out and close the door behind us. He would sing or play for awhile and then fall asleep. The few times he left his room after all this we just tell him no it's sleepy time and take him back to bed and that's it till morning alhamdullah.
i have a 8 month old. he still nurses at night before he goes to bed. generally he goes to sleep while he's nursing and then i take him to his bed when he's done. alot of times he wakes up while i'm transferring him to his crib, but i tell him good night and turn on his lullaby cd and walk out. there was a point when he was about 5 months where we had to let him cry it out at night. took about a week and then he'd go to sleep without a fuss.
My brother Jack usually goes to his bed, and someone will stay with him for a while and then leave when he is asleep, turn the lights off and get out. It works just fine. And my brother Lewis gets stories read to him, then turn off the lights and get out and he usually goes to sleep straight after that. My other brothers/sister don't have routines yet.
My parents used to lie down with us. It wasn't a problem. They would leave before we were asleep, and we went to sleep just fine.
I went through a very bad period of time when I was a little older where i would sleep on my parents' floor because I was so terrified. I actually believe they should have taken me to a child psychologist because it was so severe.
I think that parents need to observe whether sleeping problems are the child refusing to sleep or something more serious. Fear needs to be dealt with, not belittled or punished.
bed time is all abot reading a good novel for me .. nothing drives me to sleep faster than reading .. hehe
I don't have kids yet, but I baby-sit all the time. I definitely love the families that have a good routine down! That makes bedtime MUCH easier!